


She-Wolf

by sharedwithyou



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angstangstangst, F/M, Heavy Angst, Loki Angst, Loki's not a dom, Lovely Angst, Mindfuck, Some Thor Angst as well, Somehow Clint is the new Loki and makes himself into a pairing with the reader. INEVITABILITY, WHY AM I SO MEAN TO MY LOVELIES, WHY WON'T I GIVE LOKI A HUG
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-12 23:38:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3359525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loosely inspired by She-Wolf by Shakira. Definitely better than the song.</p><p> </p><p>“How long do you plan to be gone, sir er My Lord.”</p><p>He ignored the slip up. “Late. I have much to take care of.” Two guards bowed as you passed. He paid no attention. “I’m sure there will be no trouble while I’m gone.” Halfway between a rhetorical question and a demand. Same difference really. Redundant. </p><p>There never was.</p><p>“Well then, I’ll be off.” He turned then, his narrowed eyes relaxing for the briefest of moments. You met his eyes demurely. Many guards were already positioned a ways away; it was your turn to leave.</p><p>“Fair winds, Your Worship.” You did not wish him luck; he did not need it. Or want it. Or want to need it. One of those.</p><p>~~~~<br/>“Ahh.” Time to let the cat out of the bag.</p><p>“Awhoo!!!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is like the most depressing thing I've ever written. And i've written a lot. On valentine's day too!!
> 
> But it really is a beautiful piece. I'm sooo proud of it. Hope you guys enjoy it too.
> 
> Angsty angsty angst angst. 
> 
> Give me some love, lovelies!!
> 
> (Tread lightly when reading. I got really depressed myself writing it.)
> 
> Listening to Shakira's She-wolf may enhance experience

 

“Shall I have your tea waiting when you return, sir?”

 

“How many times have I told you not to call me that?”

 

“I’m sorry, My Lord.” You bowed your head. “The Midguardian customs are surprisingly hard to shake.”

 

“It’s not that.” Loki’s head snapped impatiently back as you accompanied him to the palace entrance. “It makes me sound like some… employer.”

 

“My apologies, Your Highness.” He turned then, his tone leveled. “Don’t dwell on it. I’m just dealing with more… insufferable duties today.” You nodded, understanding.

 

Anyone without an experienced eye would have considered his face impassive. But you were no amateur. You saw his harsh features mellow slightly. “Don’t worry about waiting up for me.” There. See it? “This time.”

 

“How long do you plan to be gone, sir er My Lord.”

 

He ignored the slip up. “Late. I have much to take care of.” Two guards bowed as you passed. He paid no attention. “I’m sure there will be no trouble while I’m gone.” Halfway between a rhetorical question and a demand. Same difference really. Redundant.

 

There never was.

 

“Well then, I’ll be off.” He turned then, his narrowed eyes relaxing for the briefest of moments. You met his eyes demurely. Many guards were already positioned a ways away; it was your turn to leave.

 

“Fair winds, Your Worship.” You did not wish him luck; he did not need it. Or want it. Or want to need it. One of those. You drew your eyes away slowly as you made to leave. A few steps passed before he called your name. You turned, feigning surprise.

 

He reached forward to take your hand. He dipped his head slightly to brush the air above your knuckles with his lips. You smiled slightly, despite yourself.

 

It grew, though, when he pulled you towards him, slipping arm around your waist, your hand to the side still in his as if in the middle of some formal dance. You half-feared returning his gaze, should he press his forehead against yours, your noses hovering millimeters apart.

 

He didn’t. Instead, he loosed your hand and swept away Lordly, as always, barking commands at the men in audience. They clamored away, and you watched.

 

The guards around you asked politely if you should need assistance. You denied them courteously, before returning the way you came down the halls.

 

 

“Madam, would you like some of the soldiers on duty to…keep watch?”

 

The handmaidens were more insistent. Perhaps as women they cared more; otherwise because they feared pursuing a subject slightly less than the men. It was true, the Prince extended his grace, if you will, more to them. However, he did maintain his behavior towards them, be it well or not so well, with indifference to their looks. As if beauty was of no consequence to him.

 

It was though. But his pride held him accountable for fairness at least in this department.

 

 

You convinced them you would be fine. Still, they worried. Some of the servant girls were indeed, sweet. The rest ranged from resentful to jealous, of all things. But there were some who endeared themselves to you unassumingly. His Highness took notice of this, and kept them close by your side. It was his way after all; the almost underhanded, inconspicuous concern. Caring.

 

“It is true, though, isn’t it? That the… beast makes it’s way among us when His Majesty is away.”

 

“There is nothing to worry about, lasses.” They blushed at the identification. But it was true; they were more girls than slaves after all. Loki was of an Iron Fist, not an Iron Heart. As long as he was secure in his superiority, he was more than civil. All you needed to do was learn.

 

It was easier for some than others, of course. So you took it upon yourself to take care of it, as you told Loki. The truth was, there was no punishment for those who rebelled. Not from you. You let them run if they wanted; you knew it would be far more dangerous for them to stay. If they did not want to learn, they would outside these walls. Captivity has its protections after all. But you did it mostly for those who could not learn. You could understand that. It is possible for a person to be truly unable to learn what it was to survive in the castle. They had a higher chance of surviving in the wild, then.

 

You were no gatekeeper; they could come and go as they wished, so long as Loki was unaware. Most who went would not come back. Those who did would be different; some learn by example, some by personal experience.

 

You were no headmistress either; you did not teach them to cook or clean, or how to behave. You could call yourself an enabler; those who refused to learn could escape. Those who feared life outside could find solace here. The truth was most likely that you were an oracle of some sort; whatever spirit laid in each girl who you came across would take it’s course, even in the confines of Loki’s rule. You were no savior, no angel; you had no wish to be. But it was sacred to you that each woman you met were capable of continuing towards their destiny; be it greatness, disaster, cultured or uncouth. Everyone deserved that.

 

So if they were born to fight, they would. If they were born to run, they would. If they were born to live simply, or with conflict, they would be able to. That was what you offered. And as offerings could go; this one was not bad.

 

 

“It is not our welfare we are worried about. The guards are quite capable of protecting us all.”

 

“Then be at ease.”

 

“But madam, we must ensure your utmost safety.” You smiled at this. They had no idea.

 

“His Majesty would be very angry if anything should happen to you.” That was true as well. Nothing ever did, but the girls would worry anyway.

 

“Alright, lasses. If it puts you at ease, you may assist me up to my chambers before returning to your duties.” They looked relieved. You never put them under scrutiny, especially to Loki, but his reputation was remarkable. So you let them follow you to one of the large bedrooms, before they bid you off.

 

 

“Ahh.” Time to let the cat out of the bag.

 

 

No one knew your origins; not even Loki. You let him believe he did, though. He had found you, wild, in the woods. A rarity in the kingdom; completely without history, kinfolk, or anything to identify you with. A girl who had somehow survived the harshness of nature like the Tarzan of Midguard, with nothing but her own vices. It intrigued him, fascinated him. You knew, most important though, was his insatiable desire to tame you. So you let him.

 

The thing is, you had been bored. The Frost Prince finding you; that was unplanned. A delightful accident. He had taken you to his home to “rehabilitate” you. He had taught you the customs of royalty, having bigger plans than a commoner for you. Your story was the “Cinderella” of Asguard, you supposed. An uncultured girl barely surviving in the wilderness, raised to become a Lady, by the man, nay the God, who would then take her by his side to the throne.

 

You were surprised though, after he had tamed you, or you had led him to believe you did, that he did not lose his interest. Perhaps his ego laid claim over you, or the idea of you, a woman completely independent, transformed into a gentle whisper by his ear. More likely, however, was that he had grown fond of you.

 

Who knew? The God of Mischief could fall in love. It surprised even you.

 

What he didn’t know, though, was that you were losing interest.

 

Oh the things that could come of boredom. Meeting the silver-tongued prince, for one. And now, this.

 

“Awhoo!!!”

 

You could practically feel the tremble throughout the fortress. Tantalizing. And completely distracting to your mission. Or your game.

 

 

You cried again, louder this time. The guards would be raising their weapons now. They were quite skilled; only the best for His Worship after all. That’s why they escaped death, each time, wasn’t it? Either way, you were not one to shy away from consequences. You would convince Loki to spare their lives again; after all, what good would they be dead?

 

You preened in the light now; you couldn’t help showing off a little. It had been a while since you had let your hair down, so to speak. Then as the arrows whizzed by, you leapt to your feet and began to rush.

 

The torches were glowing, and the horns sounded throughout, warning the kingdom of the monster approaching. What a joke; this was the closest to safety they would ever have. Loki was gone, and you; you were having fun.

 

The cool air felt so good coursing through your veins almost. You did a little dance around the walls; a girl’s got to shake what she has, right? Midguard had the most amusing expressions. You almost wanted to take flight; but good things come to those who wait. You were sure that people would not be able to handle this indomitable creature growing wings.

 

You shook the poor guards off left and right. They might not bleed, but they would probably be quite sore. You made a mental note to convince Loki to give them some respite tomorrow.

 

The lovely new wrought iron gate ahead was going to have to be replaced. You ripped it off in one clean motion, so it could be reinstalled. Actually, a better idea would be to secure it back in place. You wouldn’t have to menace anyone unfortunate enough to stumble in and interrupt.

 

There. Perfect. My, that was fun. And that was just the beginning. Your steps lightened as the heavy coat slipped away, and your skin hit the air, blistering the sweat away. It was almost like flying; soon, you thought, soon you would.

 

And there it was, at the end of the hall. An unintentional shrine in this museum of a dungeon. The spotlight still settled where it always did, casting a shadow without a care, without even trying. There was something about the inevitability of it all. Destiny was it? After all, some are destined for greatness. Some must be destined to crave it then. And more so, to allow their desire for it to consume them, and in one swoop take it away.

 

But for some, it was effortless. And there he was.

 

“Hello Thor.”

 

 

“Good morning, Princess. Or is it evening. I’ve lost track again.” He was, in his knotted hair, stained beard, scabbed over skin, a God.

 

“Evening. And you’ve been skipping meals.” More an accusation than an observation; like you were a mother checking on her anorexic son.

 

“It’s good to see you too.” Brash as ever, even in his confinement. This one could never be tamed.

 

“You’re losing weight.”

 

“I’ve got to keep my figure somehow, Princess. I haven’t had much opportunity to challenge my physique here.”

 

“What did I say about calling me Princess?” Oh bullocks. You sounded just like Loki. You hoped he wasn’t rubbing off on you.

 

“Don’t worry (y/n). He wouldn’t be able to change you even if he tried.” His blue eyes crackled then, setting the hair along your arms straight up. “Though the two of you are more alike than you think.” Even a rueful smile on him eased your soul.

 

“I thought the saying was opposites attract?”

 

“Isn’t that why you are here?”

 

“Let me in.”

 

“(Y/n), how in the nine realms would I keep you out?”

 

You laughed then, stepping into his cell. The stench filled your lungs, and you were glad to see he was unapologetic.

 

“Are you hungry?”

 

“Are you here to take me on a dinner date?”

 

You shoved him, feeling his muscles ripple as he moved against you. Damn.

 

“Isn’t it customary for the man to ask for the maiden’s time?”

 

“So which of us is the maiden in this scenario?”

 

You wanted to laugh and choke at the same time. It wasn’t just the smell; you wanted out. You wanted him out. The only time you felt trapped was seeing him in this cage.

 

“So what did you come as this time?”

 

“Would you believe a she-wolf?”

 

“So you’re the maiden this time.” You had no idea how he kept his wits buried under the earth like this.

 

You stopped smiling. You never put on an act for Thor. Your falsehoods were saved for Loki.

 

 

“Lighten up, Princess. You have a dinner guest.” His strong fingers gripped your hand for a second, before sliding away.

 

“I’m tired, Thor.”

 

“You’re bored.”

 

“Same thing.”

 

“You know for a fact they are not.”

 

“Fine. Both.”

 

You were at an impasse.

 

 

“Why won’t you come with me?”

 

“You already know the answer.”

 

“Why shouldn’t I be able to ask again?”

 

“Because you know the answer won’t change. And you of all people know what that is.”

 

You looked hard at him then. Not with accusing eyes; you studied him severely.

 

 

“You love her.” You left the still out. It wasn’t necessary.

 

“Yes.”

 

You nodded. As if that were the answer. It wasn’t.

 

 

“You’re beautiful, you know.”

 

You looked up, caught off guard. He was being honest. As always.

 

He waited for your response.

 

 

You laughed hollowly. “I suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

 

“Well then I suppose every eye in the kingdom beholds you in that way.”

 

“Why should it matter?”

 

“Why should it not?”

 

Now he was just being frustrating. Downright argumentative.

 

You chose to ignore it.

 

 

“How is he?”

 

“Oh, the usual. No change.” The significance was not lost on him. He was far more perceptive than his brother gave him credit for. “Have you been able to contact your friends?”

 

“Yes and no.” He averted his eyes then.

 

“And?”

 

“And nothing. That’s all.”

 

Alright. Be that way.

 

 

You leaned against the grimy wall, not bothering to wipe any of it away. It would be no use anyway. No damn use at all.

 

“(Y/n)…” He wanted to say something. You let the silence get to him.

 

“Princess…” You let it go. Just as Loki had.

 

“Thank you for coming to see me.” You smiled lightly and shook your head. There was no need for thanks.

 

“It means a lot to me.”

 

“Don’t get soft on me now, Thor.”

 

His laugh rumbled through the corridors. “Ever the warrior, aren’t you?”

 

“That would be you.” You corrected.

 

“Ahh. Then you, a she-wolf?”

 

You tiled your head, chuckling. “You think?”

 

He shook his head, laughing. “You are what you always were, (y/n).”

 

And what was that, my dear Lord?

 

“A wildcat.”

 

You grinned then, a mess of spots and stripes covering your face.

 

“Without the marks.” They disappeared again as quickly as they came.

 

 

He continued smiling, before opening his mouth.

 

“I’ve figured you out, (y/n).”

 

“Oh?” You raised your eyebrows, covering your mouth with your hand for a second. “I’m impressed, Thor. And a little afraid.”

 

The rumbles echoed through the emptiness of the dungeon. “Why you’ve stayed.”

 

“I’m a sucker for punishment?”

 

He laughed, still. “You are something else.”

 

“And what is that, Thor Odinson?”

 

“A Goddess.” You rolled your eyes at him, friendly.

 

“The Goddess of Lies.” You cocked your brow. “That’s a tall order.”

 

“Indeed. And fitting.”

 

“You do not trust me?”

 

His laughs rumbled again. “On the contrary. You, I absolutely trust.”

 

It was your turn to furrow your brow. “And how exactly, is that?”

 

“The thing about dishonest people, is that you can always count on them to be dishonest. Honestly.”

 

“That was the worst pirate accent I have ever heard in my life, God of Thunder.”          

 

“All two of them.”

 

“One. Jack Sparrow was the real thing.”

 

“Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow. And I rest my case.”

 

 

You were silent for a moment.

 

“If I am the Goddess of Lies, is it for the God of Lies?”

 

His face darkened. “He is no God.”

 

“He is your brother.”

 

“Right now he is merely a child.”

 

“A dangerous one.”

 

“I’m sure you can take care of yourself.”

 

You let out a laugh. “I always do.”

 

 

He looked at you with the same intensity you had given him earlier. You tried not to bridle under his gaze.

 

“You. Are. A Goddess. Of your own right.”

 

“You flatter me.”

 

“Flattery is unbecoming.”

 

“And yet you do so?”

 

“Understand me, (Y/n).” You sighed. You didn’t want to.

 

 

“What do you want, Thor?” You were tired. No more games.

 

“It is what you want, that I’m interested in.”

 

“Shouldn’t you already know? Since I am already down here and all.”

 

He leaned his head against the bars, tired as well. “You don’t want me.”

 

“So you say.”

 

“You like the idea of me.”

 

“I like many ideas.”

 

“Not all ideas are good.”

 

“And not all of them are bad.” What’s your point?

 

“I’m not as free as you think I am.”

 

“Says the man who is locked and chained in an almost impenetrable prison.”

 

“I like to run as much as the next person.”

 

“The person who was housed next to you died a long time ago, Thor.”

 

For a man known for little patience, he kept up with you. You had that effect on him, somehow. “Even a bird with all its wings has a place to call home.”

 

“All two of them.”

 

“You will tire of me (y/n).”

 

“You know I will not.”

 

“You will tire of the idea. Of keeping the incapable capable; the paraplegic moving.”

 

“You make me sound like Loki.”

 

“The two of you are more alike than you realize.”

 

“Oh, right. The God and Goddess of Lies. Happily in matrimony.”

 

“That’s right, the Goddess of Lies. The only reason a wildcat would allow itself to be caged. So it can find its way out again.”

 

“That doesn’t make any sense Thor.”

 

“You wanted to trick the God of Mischief. The ultimate prank. The ultimate power. Lying to the God of Lies.”

 

“And?”

 

“And you’ve succeeded.”

 

“So you think.”

 

“So you think as well.”

 

“Yet I am still here. Therefore I must not know.”

 

“You’ll never know.”

 

“I’ll come closer.”

 

“You know he loves you, whether you’ll admit it or not. That’s the closest you’ll ever be. The closest anyone will ever be.”

 

“Like Jane is to you.”

 

“Don’t sound so petty.”

 

“You would hold it against me?”

 

He looked at you directly, his lips in a firm line. “You don’t love me (y/n).”

 

“Why would that be of consequence?”

 

“Because you want to.”

 

“I want to love you.”

 

“But you don’t.”

 

“I don’t want to love you?”

 

“No.” He exhaled then, finally starting to lose his patience. “You want to love me. But you don’t. You can’t.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Are you really asking me why it is that you do not love me?”

 

“Are you really asking me why I’m asking-“

 

“Enough!” He roared. You would have jumped a little if you had known him a little less well.

 

“Alright.” You looked at him expectantly; if he wanted you to get to the point, he could as well.

 

 

He took a breath to apologize, but you waved him off. If he was losing patience there was no need for you to keep so much in reserve.

 

“You don’t love me. You never have. You never will.”

 

“You make me sound heartless.”

 

“You don’t love me like you want to.”

 

“Like Jane.”

 

“Yes. Like Jane.”

 

You sighed deeply. “Indeed, I am not Jane.”

 

“And you wouldn’t want to be. You need to be yourself; truly, powerfully, undeniably yourself, and only yourself.”

 

“I suppose you’re right.” You were silent for a while. He wanted to say something, you knew. But you weren’t going to offer him an opening like you always did. If he wanted to speak, he would do so to break the silence.

 

He did not.

 

“So what of us then? Me, sitting here in this dingy cell listening to you tell me what we both already know. You, digging your heels in, clinging to this cell until your friends, no, until you are ready to leave. What are we doing, really.”

 

“Well.” He thought for a moment. “You were bored.”

 

You laughed. And laughed, and laughed, until tears were streaming down your face. You never cried.

 

He looked at you with a mixture of concern, worry, disapproval and understanding. He reached his big meaty hands to your face and wiped at them, leaving dirt streaks in their wake. You were laughing noiselessly now, almost mirthless, but still seeing the joke in it all. Maybe that was why Loki was so bitter, so much angrier than his brother. They say ignorance is bliss, isn’t it.

 

Thor placed both his hands against your face then, taking in everything; your wind blown hair, definitely not a “tousled” look, your cheeks muddied from his own grime, your clothing trailing through the filth of this cage. When you looked back, you knew; you were beautiful to him. He leaned in then, to kiss you. You blinked, unmoving. You would never draw back; but you did not lean in. Not this time. No openings.

 

A look filled his eyes; the first that united him to his brother. An unsure, insecure, completely thrown by this revelation that what was so undeniably certain to them for so long was suddenly stolen from under their noses. And his lips, about to meet yours but not quite touching, seemed to linger there for an unending moment, suspended in time.

 

It wasn’t until much later, when a frightened guard crept in with his dinner, that he realized that Loki couldn’t possibly have called for you. When you were in the cell. He hadn’t been back, there was no one near the dungeon in which the beast had gone. But when he had heard what he thought was Loki’s voice saying your name, he had believed it was, as you disappeared from his presence.

 

Against your wishes, you had given him an opening, and left. You given him an out, when what you wanted was a confrontation, a certainty, a truth. But you were the Goddess of Lies after all.

 

You had to leave Thor a chance to lie to himself.

 

 

You were lying in Loki’s bed when he came back. You were not sleepy, but you were tired. So, damn tired. He came in, his boots dusted off carefully, his cape barely brushing any debris against the carpet. Your hair was splayed unceremoniously around you, and despite having changed, you had not bothered to wash your face.

 

He looked exhausted, and not too happy. You couldn’t tell for the first time, whether his mission had gone well or not. Maybe you were losing your touch. He untied his cloak, letting it drop to the floor with his back to you. He had already removed his ridiculous helmet, and was working on his armour before he addressed you.

 

“I told you not to wait up for me.”

 

“How did everything go?”

 

He hung his armour in the armoire, brushing his tunic briskly.

 

“It’s late.”

 

“I couldn’t sleep.” He turned to you then, taking you in, all of you.

 

“You were worried.” They were always statements, never questions.

 

“Why should I worry, My Lord?” You never gave answers, only questions.

 

He stepped closer to you now, examining your face.

 

“You’ve been crying.” No one else would’ve noticed his eyes widen oh so briefly.

 

You didn’t bother to answer.

 

He paused for a second, uncertain. Wavering. You laid there, still.

 

Tentatively, he reached forward, his slender fingers trembling. You blinked up at him, unmoving.

 

Slowly, so light you almost didn’t feel it, couldn’t feel it, he grazed at the dirt, until it was better. “I’m sorry.”

 

You were shocked, silent.

 

Aware of your expression, he continued. “I’ve been so busy… I’ve neglected you.”

 

The last thing you would expect him to say.

 

“Do not fault me for it, (y/n).”

 

I never would.

 

He took another breath. “Everything… this… it’s for us. I want it. For both of us.” His fingers were tracing your cheek now. Like spider legs, or whispers of ghosts. Or those long lashes of his, brushing butterfly kisses against your skin.

 

“I understand, My Lord.” He tensed for a moment; he had forgotten how long it was since you had called him by his name. You had not.

 

“Say my name, (y/n).”

 

“Loki.” You obliged.

 

“Again.” Seriously?

 

“Yes, My Lord.” That was on purpose. “Loki.”

 

“I’ve missed hearing that.”

 

“Sir?” Oops. That was on accident.

 

“Your voice. Calling me.” He ached all of a sudden. How long had it been? He couldn’t recall. At all.

 

You recognized that look now. You didn’t expect to see it on him; then again, what is life without surprises?

 

“My Lord?”

 

“Yes, my love?” Holy Shit. You hadn’t heard those two words together… ever? Or perhaps you had… either way it was as if you were hearing it for the first time.

 

“Come to bed, My Lord.”

 

“I will.” He was kicking off his boots now; he wanted so much to feel your warmth right now.

 

You loosened the drawstrings around your robe, and thought of Thor. He was sitting in the cell right now, lost in thought. Tortured by his demons perhaps; if so, of his own doing. You would think of him again, soon. But not tonight.

 

“Loki,” you whispered as he changed. He turned, and saw you, with your robe slowly coming apart in the middle. He froze, like a deer in headlights. Of all the times he had been afraid, and there weren’t many, you hadn’t seen a fear quite like this before. So you whispered his name again.

 

“Loki…”

 

And he came to you, quickly, brusquely, and still, scared. And you said his name again, and again, so he would remember what it sounded like. What it felt like.

 

As he drifted off to sleep, his hands slipping away from you slowly, unconsciously, you looked out across the fields. You would leave tomorrow. Maybe today. Off to your next adventure, your next challenge, your next story. As far as everyone was concerned though, you were already gone. Inevitability.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW. THIS WAS SO FUCKING DEPRESSING. BUT IT WAS ALSO BEAUTIFUL. I'LL HELP YOU PICK UP THE PIECES OF YOUR HEART. IT TOOK A WHILE FOR ME TO PICK UP MINE.
> 
> gimme some love, lovelies!! this was a work of art and you know it ;)
> 
> random ramblings for the true lovelies:
> 
> SPOILERS (in case you didn't finish reading or something):
> 
> these are details/hidden easter eggs/implied information from the story you might have missed; i was debating whether or not to reveal them since the mystery is part of the fun. in the end i decided you could make the decision yourself to know more about it. no need to keep you guessing for the sake of a "better" fic. i felt you guys would enjoy knowing more anyway.
> 
> you transformed into a creature when Loki was gone. not a she-wolf. well if you want it to be. i left it up to your imagination. 
> 
> you're a sorceress. obviously. probably spent a lot of your time as an animal/any number of creatures. took your human form when you got bored; then loki found you. you let him "tame" you because you were bored. you wanted to see if you could fool the god of mischief. which you did. even thor doesn't know you completely.  
> you tricked the trickster god. 
> 
> you didn't, however, mean to make him fall in love with you though. you were sly, not cruel. 
> 
> Thor doesn't want to leave with you (help break him out) because he feels he won't be able to keep up with you. you love adventures, obviously. and running. you don't really stay anywhere that long. that's the main reason; not that he loves Jane (and doesn't want to leave her). that is only a partial reason.
> 
> you conjured Loki's voice to call you away when Thor and you were about to kiss. That's how you "gave him a chance to lie to himself." He could decide to tell himself whether he really would have or wouldn't have kissed you had you stayed. Even though you wanted a straight answer and deserved a straight answer, you gave him an opening. It's against your nature (since you want people to be true to their nature/spirit/heart), but you did it anyway.
> 
> Did you love Thor? I think so. Not "in Jane's way", but more than Thor wanted to think.
> 
> Did you love Loki? In a way, as well. You were definitely fond of him, even if he was "dominating" you. Since it was part of your plan, and you were only submissive because you felt like it; for fun. You knew he cared, and that he showed his love for you as best he could. You didn't love him the same way you loved Thor either. The way you showed your love to him was at the end. That was the first time the two of you made love. You wanted him to remember it; to have had you, to have given yourself to him once before you left. But once you saw how hard he had fallen you had to let him go so you wouldn't end up hurting him more.
> 
> Who did you love more? That's up to my lovely to decide. =)
> 
> Let me know if you'd be interested in a sequel. I'm dying to write one (or several). As beautiful as this piece is, (and i feel it's almost too perfect to be able to have a sequel compare to it), it's so damn sad. the sequel most likely won't be two separate endings for Thor or Loki. I don't like doing that. More likely i'll have you bounce between the two of them as usual. muahaha.
> 
> Quick poll:  
> Which animal/creature did you choose to be when you escaped outside the castle?
> 
> Serious poll:  
> Based on this piece, who do you love more? (BASED ON THIS PIECE, GUYS. NOT JUST YOUR OWN PREFERENCES. BE HONEST ;) )
> 
> this piece is pure beauty. i hope you loved it, my lovelies!
> 
> happy valentine's day!!


	2. She-Wolf 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were gone. Now, you're back. Sort of. That is all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really enjoying this series. It's definitely different from Chasing Pavements, but i think i'm rockin it.
> 
> leave me some love if you enjoyed it!
> 
> oh right.
> 
> p.s.
> 
> MINDFUCKMINDFUCKMINDFUCK

“She’s gone.”

 

Outside of his cell, on the cold, disgusting ground, sat his brother. Sitting, not standing. They were on the same level for now.

 

“For how long?”

 

“Days. Months. Gods know.”

 

He had no words.

 

“I keep hoping she’ll come back; that she’ll show up at the doors, or in my bedroom, with leaves in her hair and stories flowing, pouring out.”

 

Still, Thor said nothing.

 

“They haven’t found anything. A single trace.” He inhaled deeply, ignoring the reek. “Those… useless guards.”

 

“Did she take anything with her?” Finally, he was able to speak again.

 

“Nothing. No note, no letter, just left everything she ever owned, we ever owned, here. Disappeared without a trace.”

 

“Did she run away?”

 

“If she did, I know not how. No guards, no ropes, no one saw or heard a goddamn thing.”

“And your magic?”

 

Loki exhaled, irritated. “Even my powers have their limitations. They can only reach so far. And only then, if she’s living-“

 

He cut off then, unable to finish.

 

After a brief silence, he fumbled on. “Anyway, I need your help.”

 

“My help?!” That was rich.

 

“Yes.” He answered impatiently. It was so like him; to demand a favor from someone, no matter whom or what circumstances, and expect complete acceptance and approval. “And maybe your friends. Whatever it takes.”

 

“You have got to be joking.”

 

“I am serious!” He shouted angrily. “I need-“

 

He took a deep breath to compose himself. “I need to find her. I’ll give you whatever you need.”

 

Stunned silence. Loki looked up. “In return, I offer you your freedom.”

 

“My freedom.”

 

“Yes. You have my word.” Fat lot of good his word was.

 

“If only I could trust you, Loki.”

 

“Very well. I shall send for your friends myself; if that is necessary for you to believe in me.”

 

Interesting. “What makes you think they will come?”

 

“Of course they will; you are their brother are you not? Surely they will take every opportunity to free you.”

 

“Yes, and you are my brother as well.”

 

“Are you going to do this or not?!”

 

He was silent for a while; Loki was pacing back and forth, almost downright frantic in his worry. It had not been a month; it had been three days. A complete exaggeration; part of his ploy? No, even the God of Lies could not play this farce so well.

 

“Call my friends. We will find her.”

 

Loki’s face lit up the entire dungeon. It was precious. “So you’ll do it?!”

 

You nodded. “Yes. I will.”

 

 

 

 

 

“You were right.”

 

Thor woke with a start; his hand raising instinctively. He turned to see Jane curled up next to him sleeping soundly. He sensed nothing. He slowly lowered his hand. Just a dream.

 

“It is tiring, keeping the incapable capable.”

 

He whipped around, checking his surroundings once more. He pulled Jane to him, who mumbled in her sleep absently.

 

“I was right too, you know?”

 

“Where are you?!” He wanted to call out, but what good would it do? To wake Jane? If you truly wanted to hurt her, or him, you would have. As it were, you wouldn’t even show your face.

 

“Flattery is unbecoming indeed. Anyone can see the true Goddess lies beside you, in your arms.”

 

“Your friends truly care about you, Thor. They would do anything to set you free.”

 

“What have you done?!”

 

“What are you talking about?!” You scoffed.

 

“You must have done something. Why else would you be here right now?!”

 

“Here, there, where am I really? No one knows.”

 

“Don’t toy with me!”

 

“Never. But didn’t you wonder how it was you and your friends got out so easily? I mean, if it were that simple, why would you have waited that long?”

 

“What… have you done?”

 

“Don’t worry, everyone’s safe. You, your friends, Jane. I made sure of that.”

 

“Of course you did.” He sighed.

 

“Are you disappointed? Is it really so shameful to have been helped, even unknowingly, by me?”

 

“That’s not it.” He fired, righteously angry.

 

 

“Or perhaps it is an issue of pride; after all your team the Avengers is it? Prides itself on being the best in galaxy do they not? In all the nine realms even?”

 

“Why have you come to torment me?”

 

Unbelievable! You had helped this miserable man out of what was possibly the biggest setback in his life, and here he was not only ungrateful, but positively hostile.

 

“Well then, if that’s how you feel, truly, I shall be off. An old friend mustn’t overstay their welcome, now.”

 

“Wait!”

 

“Yes?” This idiot was practically insufferable.

 

“How is he?”

 

“Who?”

 

“My brother.”

 

“Oh for heaven’s sake! If you want to know you can keep in touch. You could be pen pals. Maybe they even have Skype in Asguard.”

 

“It was just a question.”

 

“Right. Because I made the effort to reach out to you so we could talk about Loki.”

 

Silence. Maybe he was finally thinking. With his brain.

 

 

“Why have you only reached out now?”

 

Incredible. “Communication works both ways you know?! How is it that I am responsible for two ends of one line?”

 

“I couldn’t exactly have mailed you a letter now, could I?”

 

Well, at least his temper was consistent.

 

“Alright, alright. This has certainly proved fruitless. Look at you, practically seizing in your bed. You’re going to wake your wife up.”

 

“We’re not married.”

 

“Ah. No hurry. You’ve got plenty of centuries ahead of you.”

 

“Fuck. You.”

 

“It’s been great talking to you too.”

 

“Wait… I’m sorry.”

 

“No need, Thor. I get it. When you’re in your own mind, you cannot control your words. In fact I might like you better this way. Completely bare.”

 

He couldn’t respond for a moment.

 

“You… how did you help me escape?”

 

“The details are not important. Rest assured they will not be looking for you. You are here on Midguard, to stay.”

 

“And you?”

 

“I’m doing just fine, Thor. Naturally.”

 

He chuckled. Jane stirred beside him, and he covered his mouth instinctively.

 

“I suppose I owe you my thanks.”

 

“You owe me nothing.”

 

“That is where you are wrong.”

 

“I don’t do favors, Thor. Only gifts.”

 

“In that case, what gift may I offer you?”

 

“Ah ahh, that’s not how it works.”

 

“Surely there is something I can do.”

 

“Many things, of course. You are the rightful King of Asguard after all. Surely you would have abilities that far surpass most.”

 

“For you.”

 

“Me? I have no pressing needs. I take care of myself, if you recall.”

 

His chest rumbled slightly in spite of himself. “I insist. I do not leave my work unfinished. Nor my debts unpaid.”

 

“Very well. I’ll think of something eventually.”

 

“See to it that you do.” A command from others, it was a request from him. For you.

 

 

He paused. “What are you doing, (yn)?”

 

“Right now? I’m talking to you, aren’t I.”

 

“That’s not what I meant.”

 

“So what do you mean then?”

 

He struggled to choose the appropriate words. “You are here now. Speaking to me. After all this time; why are you back?”

 

“Ahh. A very good question.”

 

“Well?”

 

“I suppose visiting a friend would not suffice for you as a reason.”

 

“Nor boredom.”

 

“Very well. I am no Goddess of Lies, after all.” You exhaled. “I wanted to see you.”

 

“Why?”

 

“There are no tricks Thor Odinson, between us-“

 

“Other than you intruding within my mind through supernatural means,” he interrupted.

 

“Well I couldn’t have walked in the front door, could I?”

 

“You would have been welcome.”

 

“On such short notice?”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

A moment of brief silence.

 

 

“Is it so hard to believe I may have a simple desire to see you?”

 

“You know better than I.”

 

“I concede then; I miss you.”

 

His shock was apparent.

 

“Why so serious?”

 

“I’m surprised, is all.”

 

“And why, exactly, is that?”

 

“You do not linger, (y/n). You don’t dwell in places, or on people.”

 

“So I am forgetful.”

 

“You move on.”

 

“Is that a criticism?”

 

“It is the truth.”

 

“If that is the case, how has it come to be that I am here again, with you? Figuratively, I mean.”

 

“I know not, Princess.”

 

“Please. I was never royalty, you know that.”

 

“So you say.”

 

“Especially now that I am no longer beside Loki, that title does not suit me. Or apply.”

 

More surprise. “You left?”

 

 

You tsked. “Thor, you literally just accused me of being unable to stay in one place. Now you’re surprised that I left the palace. Am I a walking oxymoron?”

 

“I should reserve that name for myself; my brother certainly used it on me often.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“Moron.”

 

You let out a laugh. “Not the most sociable, that one.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“Does not play well with others.”

 

“You played with him just fine.”

 

A wry smile crossed your face. “Indeed.”

 

“I did not mean it in that way, Lady (y/n).”

 

“No need to distinguish; but thanks anyway.”

 

 

He sighed deeply. It was a wonder his lover did not wake up. “I’ve missed you as well, (y/n).”

 

“I see.”

 

“But you’ve stayed well.”

 

“I have.”

 

“Keep it that way.”

 

“As you wish, Your Worship.”

 

“You know I am no king now. Just an ordinary man on this earth.”

 

“You may hold no crown, but I would hardly call you ordinary.”

 

“I’m not a god here.”

 

“If I recall correctly, someone wise once told me that recognition of a deity was unmistakable. And unchangeable.”

 

“You have me there.” He shook his head ruefully. “Well, enough of this. Tell me, what have you been up to?”

 

“Oh you know, the usual.”

 

“Such as?”

 

“Running wild, getting into mischief, perhaps wreaking havoc.”

 

“You were quite a trouble-maker if I recall.”

 

“You recall correctly.”

 

“Anything in particular you wish to tell me?”

 

“I believe I already have.”

 

“About your escapades.”

 

“Oh, believe me, they would bore you.”

 

“That is a bold-faced lie.”

 

“What was that nickname you called me again?”

 

“Ahh, a nickname it was not. Rather a state of being.”

 

“Pish tosh.”

 

“Goddess of Lies.” The emotion in that statement was unmistakable.

 

“Yes, that was it.”

 

“I meant it.”

 

“I’m sure you did.”

 

“I still do.” The gruffness in his voice could not help but move you. But this isn’t what you needed. And what you wanted? Wasn’t he the one who had told you, you didn’t know?

 

 

“Well I’ll be off then.”

 

“Leaving so soon?”

 

“Casualty of my living, I guess.”

 

“A casualty, yes.” Don’t get emotional on me now, Thor. I’m almost gone.

 

“Until next time then, I presume.”

 

He was abruptly quiet. The unease further chilled your bones.

 

 

“I’m not sure that would be a good idea.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

He couldn’t repeat himself. He couldn’t affirm it.

 

“As you wish, then.”

 

“(Y/n)…”

 

“Yes, that is good. None of this princess nonsense. Or anything presumptuous. Just me, simply me.”

 

“Where will you be going?”

 

“Even I would not be able to answer that question for you Thor.”

 

I’ll be seeing you? No he couldn’t say that. Not after he made her doubt herself like that. See you around? That was just terrible. He might as well say the dreaded its you, not me. He cursed himself over and over. It was not your fault- this turmoil was his and his only.

 

“Goodbye Thor.” His chance to bid you off or whatever else was over.

 

“Be well, (y/n).”

 

And how could you respond to that?

 

Your presence slowly faded, and Thor sighed, deeply, heavily. So heavy.

 

 

“Oh, one more thing.” He blinked, taken aback.

 

“Remember how I said communication was both ways? A two-way street or something like that?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I was serious.”

 

“So?”

 

“Stop thinking about me Thor.” The statement was cold. The words were harsh. It was a commandment.

 

He could form no words.

 

“Between you and your brother, I will never get any rest.”

 

He opened his mouth, or maybe his thoughts, to reply. But you were gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor is a bastard. Loki is a bastard. Boys are stupid. Lets throw rocks at them.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!! If you thought this was confusing/exciting/intriguing... it is just the beginning... my loveliess
> 
> MUAHAHAHAHHA
> 
> Random ramblings:
> 
> Thor is a doofus. I love him. But he is a doofus. Total. Doofus.
> 
> Yes I had to throw Clint in there. Yes i have an unhealthy obsession with the archer. Yes i have problems keeping things in the Thor kingdom... Avengers here we come
> 
> what does that mean?!!?! well you'll just have to wait and see, wont you? Now be a dear and leave me a comment. Please. It would bring me great joy.
> 
> i am a queen at banter. i'm sure if i met Loki in real life we could go on for ages before he killed me.   
> nevermind. scratch that. 
> 
> quick poll:
> 
> Loki or Thor? (in this story, specifically.) and why? (yes. give me a paragraph. two to three sentences at least. it's like we're in reading comprehension again.)


	3. She-Wolf 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are no words. Just read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And leave a damn comment if you liked! ;)

“Wake up, My King.”

 

Instinctively, Loki’s temper rose. Who dared disturb him, when he had not even expressed permission to enter.

 

“It is late, My Lord. If you are ill, let me rise and tend to you.”

 

He felt a movement beside him, and his eyes flashed open.

 

A figure was crumpled against the fireplace where he had shot his blast.

 

“Mm…”

 

Was that-

 

He leapt out of his bed. “(Y/n)…?!”

 

“Not your best morning, I presume?” There you were, tossed against the ashes like a rag doll. You struggled to get up, wincing as you moved your legs.

 

“(Y/n)?! Where the fuck have you been?!”

 

“Sir…”

 

“We’ve been looking all over the kingdom for you!” You looked confused at the fury in his face.

 

“…You are not feeling well, my Lord?”

 

He flung the robe from his shoulders. “Do not lie to me!”

 

“…”

 

“It has been days! Weeks! How could you disappear like that, without a trace? Without a notice?! Do you know how much trouble you have brought to me?!”

 

“Please, my Lord, let me help you back to bed.” You picked yourself up unsteadily, your face completely bewildered. You struggled towards him.

 

 

“Is this some sort of trick?! What is this sorcery? Who are you?!” His hand flew forward and pinned you against the wall, blue beams circled around your neck.

 

“S-sir? You are angry with me?” You choked out the words as best you could, trying to find a grip against the wall with your bare feet.

 

“Where is she?! What have you done with her?!”

 

Suddenly, the bedroom doors burst open. Guards surrounded the room quickly. “Your Highness! We heard the disturbance! Are you-“ The head of the legion turned and saw you against the wall, held up by blue streaks of light. They immediately lowered their heads when they saw your robe had been blown open by the force of Loki’s magic.

 

“Please forgive us, My Lord! We thought an ambush, and came in uninvited! There is no defense for us interrupting you and our Mistress.”

 

Loki looked between the red-faced guards, the newest recruits trembling with fear, and again to your face with eyes wide, struggling to breathe. He turned to a fresh looking recruit, a mere boy. “You there!”

 

“Y-yes, My King?” He was quaking now, almost rocking back and forth on his knees.

 

“How long has it been?!”

 

“S-sir?” The boy turned to the head guard, who shot him a menacing look.

 

“How long has she been missing?!”

 

“I-I beg your pardon-“

 

“Answer me!” The boy turned pale and looked on the verge of throwing up. “I-I… please forgive me My Lord!” He placed his forehead against the ground now, muttering prayers, distraught.

 

Loki cursed under his breath, before addressing the head of the guard. “How long has (y/n) been gone?!”

 

“I apologize deeply for the failure of my men, sir.”

 

“Nevermind that. How long has (y/n) been missing?!”

 

 

The man did not understand the question any better, but understood how to handle the situation. “We have not seen her since she entered your chambers yesterday, My Lord. We had no idea she went missing during the night. We are deeply sorry for our inadequacy.” The men lowered their faces to the ground once more, before their leader raised his head again. “We should have been more alert. However, my Lord, I am happy to see the Her Ladyship has been returned to your side.”

 

Loki looked around incredulously, before it finally dawned on him. “Dismissed!” He barked, as the guards quickly filed out of his room, still shaking. As he spoke the word, he was already withdrawing his hand in horror. You slipped down the length of the wall, crumbling in a heap on the floor. He teleported to your side, bent over your body.

 

You shrank from him, pushing yourself tightly against the tapestries. “(Y/n)…” he whispered as his hands began glowing, flooding your veins with ice as the pain ebbed from you inside. You refused to look at him, turning your eyes against the wall, staring blankly away. You had not expected this at all. You had miscalculated dearly. What an impossibly dangerous mistake.

 

“I’m so sorry…” He pressed as close he could to you without touching you. And you believed him. Still, you would not close the distance between the two of you. No earthly way.

 

“I had no idea…” the words would not come to him, he was so distraught.

 

You let the silence continue angrily.

 

“I would never lift a hand against you, (y/n).” Clearly.

 

“Please, (y/n). Please know. I never meant to harm you. I would never hurt you. I will never let so much as a hair of yours come close to danger ever again.” You never thought the day would come where you would here him beg. But you would not let him in.

 

 

“(Y/n)…” his voice was urgent. He needed you to understand. He needed you. “Please believe me.”

 

 

“I was ill!” The frustration was seeping into his voice. Well, wasn’t that sweet. Was he going to hit you if you didn’t forgive him?

 

“I was not in my right mind, (Y/n). I had a nightmare. A nightmare, (y/n).”

Well then. That explains everything doesn’t it.

 

“I thought you were gone. That you had disappeared.” His voice hitched. “I thought you had left me.” Well yes. But is that any way to welcome me back? Throwing me against the fireplace?

 

“I thought someone had taken you from me, and they had come back for me.” Please. If they wanted you dead they wouldn’t have waited for you to worry about me first.

 

“I thought they came to torment me. Under the guise of you.” Okay. So the people responsible for my disappearance came back looking like me, so you would think it was me? If that was the plan you foiled them. Good for you. You imbecile.

 

“I thought you gone, (y/n)!” His voice was rising uncontrollably. “I thought you…dead.” He whispered the last word. What a drama queen. You supposed he was telling the truth though.

 

“In my rage, I have made a terrible mistake. Please, (y/n).” He pleaded, with the decency not to force his hands upon you. But oh how he wanted to touch you. To comfort you. To make you well.

 

 

“If I had known it was you… I thought the monster who had ripped you from my arms was coming back in your place. Please, (y/n).” Would he lash out in his desperation? You were truly curious. Morbid.

 

“Look at me!” There goes his temper. You acknowledged his presence out of the corner of your eye, but did not face him.

 

“Look. At. Me.” His voice was so cold. Demanding. My, my, quite the charmer.

 

He raised his palm. Well, about time. I suppose once you’ve done it once, you have to do it again. Strange isn’t it? Almost like an addiction. After the first time, it becomes harder and harder to stop it. Is that how abusers become? It gets easier every time, doesn’t it.

 

His hand shook in the air, as if struggling over the decision. It was still difficult, right now; to strike you.

 

 

You were wrong.

 

 

He let his hand drop. “Okay.” He relented, hardly audible. “You do not want me to touch you right now.” He withdrew from you, slowly rising from your still tensed form.

 

“I will fetch your handmaidens. And the healers. The very best.” He had already healed you though. Guilty conscience? Covering the bases?

 

He backed away step by step, still probing you with his eyes. Even in your devastation you were so, so beautiful. It tore at him even more. He wanted nothing more to sweep you into his arms, and let you fight him, push him, beat against him until it was all out; until you could rest with him once more. But he did not. He had already taken your freedom once.

 

His hot blood coursed through him. He was the king! He asked pardon from no one. As it were, it was entirely a misunderstanding. Hadn’t he treated you so well, all your life. With patience, with mercy. He had been more than good to you. He didn’t need this.

 

 

You could read this all in his face. What a fool.

 

 

He fought with himself, standing there. He did not notice he had stopped; that he was frozen in space, staring at you. He had never felt so conflicted before. He owed you nothing! And yet, he could not forgive himself. He had hurt you. And even his pride could not absolve this sin.

 

He had never wanted that. He wanted you to be safe. Always. Hadn’t he made sure, every time? When he was gone, or even when he wasn’t immediately by your side, he had the most trusted, and only the most capable, at your beck and call. Always keeping an eye out, a hand on the sword, for you. He didn’t deserve this; he had given you so much. How could you hold this against him? You had been given so much more than you deserved.

 

Really?

 

 

So much more than anyone else had been given. You had everything. Anything you wanted, you could ask of him.

 

 

Did you know that, though?

 

 

He refused you nothing. He wanted the best for you. That’s what he worked for. It was all for you.

 

 

Not only you.

 

 

But mostly for you. He cursed himself over and over again. This was the last thing he needed right now. There was still much to be done. There was dissention, opposition, and so many factors that were not yet under his control. He had been under so much lately; hadn’t you noticed? Hadn’t you seen the long hours you spent away, or in your study, or in the throne room?

 

 

Of course you had. You had waited for him.

 

 

He didn’t need any of this. Guilt. Repentance. It was unbecoming of a king. And entirely unnecessary. He bowed to no one.

 

 

And you never asked him to.

 

 

And now, he had to. He had to give it to you. If you were on your knees the least he could do was to be on his, with you. He couldn’t have you hate him. And yet, he was a God! Anyone would die to be in your position. He could replace you at any moment, on a whim.

 

 

You never claimed him. As your own. You stood by him patiently, through everything. Without so much as a ring for assertion. That he belonged to you. That he was yours.

 

 

You didn’t. You wouldn’t. And honestly, you couldn’t if you tried. You knew him too well.

 

He could not help himself. It was an excuse; it was also the truth. What could he give you? Nothing you couldn’t give yourself. In fact, maybe nothing as good as you would give yourself. Or that you would give him. But you had known that. You had always known. You had put up with it, endured it, played your part. With everything at your fingers, you chose to be at his. If only he knew. But he couldn’t.

 

 

You can’t make the incapable capable.

 

 

He was a king. He was a God! He owned the very earth beneath your feet. Beneath everyone’s.

 

 

And you were a queen. You were his queen.

 

 

The Goddess of Lies. You understood it now. Thor.

 

 

He snapped from his racing thoughts to see you where he had left you. You had not moved.

 

The few paces between you two stretched so far, and he did not know how to cross it.

 

He didn’t know it; you wouldn’t have let him anyway.

 

 

He had never wanted you more.

 

 

“Maids!” His voice bit the morning air, cool.

 

The girls, your best handmaidens rushed in.

 

“Your Highness?”

 

“Lady (y/n) has been… injured.”

 

Their faces revealed they knew how.

 

“Attend to her at once.”

 

“Yes, Your Lordship.” They bustled towards you.

 

He stalked through them, anger rising to ease his guilt at their knowledge.

 

“I am fine, lasses.” You rose now, regally.

 

He stopped mid-step when he heard your voice.

 

“Ma’am-“

 

“At ease.” They slowed their feet, unsure of what to do. They did not dare stop in the King’s presence; they did not care to disrespect your authority either.

 

Loki noticed.

 

“The King has not yet dressed for court.”

 

His eyes widened.

 

“Leave us so he may do so.”

 

They did not interrupt.

 

“I will send for you if need be.”

 

They quivered slightly, but curtsied and excused themselves. You motioned for them to shut the doors, which they did so with effort.

 

 

He was standing with his back to you now. His chin was high and his feet were firmly against the ground. His hair cascaded loosely around his shoulders.

 

You knew he was royally afraid.

 

You put one foot out, then in front of the other, slowly. Deliberately. You knew he heard each one.

 

“Loki.”

 

He did not turn. He dared not to.

 

You repeated his name. Still, he did not move.

 

 

You crept towards him until you knew he could feel your presence behind him. You could practically hear his heart beating. The wildcat in you.

 

You stood for a moment. Admiring. You had never put him in this light before. He was fragile; unable to see what he thought was imminent. It was in his vulnerability that lay his strength. If only he knew.

 

He did not know inevitability as you did.

 

“You will not look upon me to see if I’m alright, My Lord?”

 

At once he was against you, his eyes searching yours. There was no condemnation left. Only a brief shimmer, a possible forecast that disappeared as fast as it came.

 

“No. Not your Lord.”

 

 

“Sir?”

 

“Just yours, (y/n). I am not fit to be your Highness, or Worship.”

 

“Do not blame yourself such, My Lord.”

 

“No!” He clutched your shoulders roughly. “No more, (y/n).”

 

“… My King?”

 

“Yes.” His hands loosened, but stayed firmly on you. “Your King. Nothing more. My Queen.”

 

“…Your Highness?!”

 

 

What had happened to your game? The rules were changing in the game that was only your own. And you were almost powerless to stop it. Almost. And to be honest; you didn’t want to. Surprises indeed.

 

 

“Please.” Again?

 

“No more. Just my name.”

 

“Loki…”

 

“Yes.” His arms moved around your waist and your warmth mingled with his cool skin. “Yes, (y/n). Loki.”

 

You could feel his quick, shallow breaths through your hair. You could not help it. It felt nice.

 

“Be mine, (y/n).” His face was so close to yours.

 

“Haven’t I always?” Again. In a sense, nothing had changed; no questions and no answers. But everything was turned on its head. It was different now.

 

“Only mine.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Completely, absolutely mine.”

 

“My Lord.”

 

“Loki.”

 

“…Loki.”

 

“Be my queen.” His lips against your forehead now, feathery. Sweet. Like confection.

 

“My… I mean… Loki?”

 

“In all sincerity. I want you by my side. Forever more.”

 

“I always have been, Loki.” At least in his forever.

 

“Then do me this honor. Let me be your King. Be my wife.”

 

 

Surprises, after all.

 

 

“I will.”

 

 

And his lips were on yours, so needy, so hungry. Even in the heat beneath the blankets he had not kissed you so. It was as if he knew now, you would never leave.

 

But that was impossible.

 

 

His lips felt so good; you believed that Thor’s would never compare. Loki had this one on him.

 

“Join me in bed, My Queen?” Was that a lilt at the end of the sentence? As a request? Would wonders never cease?

 

“How could I refuse?” Status quo, after all. Some things have to remain, after all. Goddess of Lies.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT WHAT??? LOVELY GETTING SOFT??
> 
> are you confused? it's okay, mindfuck is just a normal part of the lovely-life
> 
> random ramblings;
> 
> did Loki dream the whole thing? was Thor dreaming last chapter? What's reall??! you'll never know!!
> 
> just kidding, i like to reveal little secrets to my readers. leaving you guessing is just cruel. 
> 
> mindfuckmindfuckmindfuck; you did leave. you had funsies. life went on. then you came back. but no one else remembered all the time passed except for the God of Mischief because well... you wouldn't have such a dramatic encounter now, would you?
> 
> i intentionally wrote it ambiguously so you would be confused. that's why Lovely seems lost and confused in the beginning- i hated writing lovely even slightly weak/submissive, but it was necessary for le mindfucks ;D
> 
> rest assured lovely is still the strong grownass woman y'all are ;)
> 
> it was tough writing the inner conflict for Loki since lovely is a powerful sorceress not to mention obviously independent, so Loki's thoughts don't really do her justice. but i felt i had to stay true to his character, even if it meant hating him for a bit for his antagonistic thoughts- WORSHIP HER. WORSHIP MY READERS LOKI. alas, the idea of Loki's love is through redemption, not perfection. (praise Jesus Lawddd) unless you're the type who likes Loki's "pet obsession love" 
> 
> in which case, sorry not sorry. loki's got his work cut out for him. Lovely ain't gon take no sheeit!
> 
> i made it up to myself writing Loki as half an asshole with lovely's snarky inner peanut gallery. hey, a girl's gotta let off some steam! stop winking Tony. go awayl. you're not even in this story. 
> 
> questions with no answers. commands with no questions. i'm really enjoying this theme. also the juxtaposition of Loki's obviously BIASED thoughts vs his conscience/REALITY
> 
> don't worry, he gets better. i hope. i don't want to have to kill of my favorite anti-hero/anti-lover 
> 
> JOKE. JOKE! 
> 
> Quick poll: who's a better kisser, Thor or Loki??
> 
>  
> 
> You stood for a moment. Admiring. You had never put him in this light before. He was fragile; unable to see what he thought was imminent. It was in his vulnerability that lay his strength. If only he knew.- FEEELS LOVELIES. FEELLSSSSSSSSSSSSS. IF YOU FEEL NOTHING AT THIS POINT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN.


	4. She-Wolf 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISESURPRISEMINDFUCKMINDFUCK
> 
> enjoy my lovelies!!
> 
> gimme some love if you like!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thor's a dick. Loki's evil. But thor is a total dick.  
> plus loki is less evil now.
> 
> however thor is more dickish.

Across the world, or universe rather, Thor startled awake once more. It was light out now. Jane smiled at him sleepily, kissing him gently.

 

“Morning Sleepyhead.”

 

He turned, taking in her red hair, her freckles, her milky skin. “Good Morning, my love.”

 

She laughed. “Your formalness is so cute.”

 

“Cute?!”

 

“Yes.” She pressed her finger against his nose. “Cute.”

 

“Surely you are mistaken, Jane.”

 

“Surely I’m not.”

 

She propped herself up against the pillows. “How did you sleep?”

 

“Well.” It was not like him to lie. That was someone else’s department. “And you?”

 

“Really good.” She rubbed the last of the crust from her eyes and stretched. “Breakfast?”

 

“That would be wonderful.”

 

She smiled and bent over to kiss him again, before heading off to the bathroom, then kitchen.

 

He scratched his head and shadowed his face from the rays already peeking in. He had not slept well.

 

 

“Stop thinking about me.” Well that was easier said than done, wasn’t it. Especially if you were going to be in his head in the first place. How does one exactly stop thinking about something? It was a paradox really; in order to stop thinking about someone, one would have to be thinking about them to begin with. And to simply not think was not an option. No, not even for him. It was almost a joke- telling someone to stop thinking. As if it were that easy, as if it were even possible. Like turning a switch. Or locking a door.

 

Was that the humor you seemed to see?                 

 

 

“Pancakes?”

 

“Huh?” Thor looked up at Jane, distracted. “Oh, yes that would be great.”

 

“Good. I’m so tired of Pop-Tarts.”

 

They didn’t have those on Asguard.

 

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. Like you asked.

 

But in the back of his mind he knew he had woken to you sighing his brother’s name.

 

 

“Yo Thor, what’s up?”

 

“Hmm? Oh yes, hello Brother Clint.”

 

“What’s on your mind?” He smirked. “Or who?”

 

“Nothing at all.”

 

“Is that why you didn’t dodge?”

 

“Wha- OOF!”

 

“You’re off your game, man.”

 

Blast it all. He couldn’t help it. He couldn’t do it.

 

He had failed.

 

“Woah man, take it easy. Everyone has an off day.”

 

“Hmm… oh yes.”

 

“Dude… maybe you should take the day off. You don’t look so good. At all. No offense.”

 

“Right. I- none taken. I think I shall…” He did not finish the sentence before walking off to find some quiet.

 

“Shit…”

 

“What?”

 

“Thor’s acting weird.”

 

“…Thor?!”

 

“What?! Don’t look at me like that.”

 

 

 

“What do you want, Thor? I’m kind of busy.” A girlish giggle came out involuntarily. “Loki!”

 

“Is he with us?!”

 

“Uh, no. Well, sort of. He can’t hear you. But since he’s, you know, awake, I can’t exactly turn him off.”

 

“I can hear.”

 

“Well aren’t you the ray of sunshine.” You turned as Loki stretched, freeing you from his grasp.

 

“I’m afraid I have to leave you for now, my love. The kingdom simply cannot run itself.”

 

“As you wish, My Lord.”

 

“(Y/n), what have I told you?”

 

“Force of habit, My King.”

 

“I suppose I’ll let that one go.” His smirk followed him out of the room.

 

 

“There. Happy?”

 

“I thought you told me you had left.”

 

“I thought I told you to stop thinking about me.”

 

“You did.”

 

“And you didn’t.”

 

“Don’t make this about me, now.”

 

“Right. Because you were not the one who was reaching out to me.”

 

“Communication is a two-way street.”

 

“Touche.” You smiled. “What can I do for you, my dear Thor.”

 

“I’m not your dear.”

 

“Debatable.”

 

“What’s going on, (y/n)?”

 

“Why, of all people, are you asking me?”

 

“You know why.”

 

“Okay, if that’s how you want to be, then why are you asking the Goddess of Lies for an explanation?”

 

“So you’ve taken the name then.”

 

“Apparently I have no choice.”

 

“You win.” One to one now. “Now will you answer me?”

 

“I’m not sure I have one.”

 

“Give me your best shot.”

 

“Don’t I always.” You both laughed, this time. “Alright. What do you want to know?”

 

 

“I already asked.”

 

“Be specific.” He really was insufferable.

 

“Why have I been hearing from you?”

 

“I thought we went over this.” You never considered yourself to be especially impatient. Maybe Loki really was rubbing off on you. Heh.

 

“Sorry. I’m not so good with words.”

 

“I may have noticed.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Okay then.”

 

He sighed. This was frustrating for the both of you, you guessed. “Time has passed. We didn’t speak.”

 

“Correct.”

 

“Now we are.”

 

“Very perceptive, Thor.”

 

If you were anyone else he would’ve retorted by now.

 

“Things have changed. And don’t make a joke about the obvious.”

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, dear.”

 

“I-“ Still the words escaped him.

 

You decided not to fill the silence.

 

“What’s happening, (y/n)? I mean really?”

 

For once, you held your tongue as well.

 

 

“Life was normal. Or as normal as it gets. I was on Earth, living with Jane; Loki was ruling Asguard, if you can call it that; and you were… well you were doing something.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“And now, you’ve reached out to me.”

 

“Two-way street, Thor.”

 

“Just let me say it, (y/n).”

 

You conceded silently. He continued.

 

“You reached out to me; and now I can’t sleep-“

 

“Have you tried some Ambien?” You couldn’t help yourself.

 

“Please, (y/n).” Well now. The brothers were learning manners.

 

“You reached out to me, and now you’re hearing me and I’m hearing you… and now you’ve returned to Loki!”

 

“Which part of that confuses you?”

 

“All of it!”

 

“I guess I’ll explain chronologically then.”

 

“Please do.”

 

 

You sighed. “As you’ve made me repeat, we were able to contact one another. No, I don’t not reach out to you; rather, we were able to meet in the middle.”

 

You allowed him time to process that. “Why had we not been able to sooner?”

 

“Who knows? You do not question when you run into an old friend in person; you just take it as such. Why should it be different when we are not?”                                             

 

He thought about it. “I suppose you’re right.”

 

“Any more questions?”

 

“No.”

 

“Alright. Then we’ve basically finished.”

 

“We have not.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“You have not explained Loki.”

 

“Who can explain Loki? Really.”

 

“That is not what I meant.”

 

“So say what you meant.” Really, you’re not that impatient. Thor was… special.

 

“You told me you had left.”

 

“I did.”

 

“And now you’re back together.”

 

“That sounds like a Midguardian pop song.”

 

“Answer the question!”

 

“Didn’t sound like a question to me.” He did not surprise you; his outburst neither.

 

“Why have you returned?”

 

“To him?”

 

“Yes! To him!!”

 

“Easy there, Thor. You do realize you’ve been asking me why I’ve returned since I’ve… returned. Which was mainly about returning to you.”

 

“…Sorry.”

 

“Apology accepted.” He smiled at the mock sternness in your voice. “Now about your brother. I did choose to return to see him. Is it really your business why I did?”

                                                                                                                       

 

“I want to know.” Avoiding the question. Bold.

 

“Why is that?”

 

“It concerns family!”

 

“Loki’s been your family since I don’t know, he was born?”

 

“I meant you as well.”

 

“That’s touching.” There was slight sincerity in your statement. “Still not really your business.”

 

“Will you just tell me?”

 

“First, answer me. Why is this of consequence oh so suddenly now?”

 

“I didn’t know what was happening between the two of you until now.”

 

“That is true. However you did not know I had left until I told you explicitly. If it didn’t matter enough for you to ask then-“

 

“How would I know to ask?!”

 

No wonder Loki called him an oaf.

 

“Alright then. But I’d like to point out that you wouldn’t have known we were “back together” as you put it, had you not heard Loki’s voice earlier.”

 

“I don’t see how that relates.”

 

“But it does, my friend. Our relationship, if you’d like to call it that, wasn’t exactly at the front of your mind now, was it.”

 

“I had not forgotten you, (y/n).”

 

“I was talking about Loki and I. But thank you for that.”

 

“Anytime, (y/n).”                               

 

“Quite so. Now, as I was saying, whatever happened between Loki and I was not weighing so heavily on your mind to begin with. Any change between our standing, whether you saw it firsthand or not, shouldn’t really be a concern for you.”

 

“And yet it is.”

 

“Which brings us back to the question; why do you care, Thor?”

 

“Is it so hard to believe I could care for the well-being of my brother and my old friend?”

 

“Surely not. But our well-being has nothing to do with our intimacy now, does it?”

 

“I’m not asking for details.”

 

“You rascal.” You both chuckled. Even now, his wit was endearing. You let the air between you lighten for a bit before you moved on.

 

 

“Why does it matter, Thor?”

 

“Why should it not?”

 

“You are speaking to the Goddess of Lies, Thor.”

 

“Yes, Your Worship.”

 

“Do I look like Loki?”

 

“I wouldn’t know; we’re not exactly in person now, are we?”

 

“Cute. Now stop dodging the question. And. Answer.”

 

He sighed deeply. “I care about you, (y/n).”

 

“That’s sweet Thor. And beside the point.”

 

“It is not.”

 

“Fine. But you have already made me aware of the fact. It does not answer the question.”

 

“Are you so cold to me, (y/n).”

 

Now, this. This angered you. “If I recall correctly, it was you, Thor, who questioned the… appropriateness perhaps? Of us remaining in contact.”

 

He did not miss the chill that had crept into your voice. “And yet here I am. So perhaps I did not mean it.”

 

“Perhaps you were wrong.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Don’t be offended, now. You could be right, as well.”

 

 

He was silent in his confusion.

 

“After all, here we are. Coming full circle.”

 

“I fail to see that.”

 

“Obviously, you have an unhealthy interest in what goes on between your brother and I.”

 

“I would hardly call it as such.” He was affronted.

 

“Have it your way.” He could tell from your tone you were getting ready to leave.

 

“What do you want from me, (y/n)?”

 

“What do I want?” There were so many things wrong with that question. You took in a very deep breath. “I want the truth, Thor.”

 

“And I will give you that.”

 

“On your word, then.”

 

“Of course.” A hint of insult at the need for you to reiterate. But you’ll move on.

 

 

“Why do you care whether I am with Loki or not?”

 

 

Silence. That’s right. Take a moment to think it through. Very carefully, Thor.

 

 

“Because I don’t want you to get hurt.” Well, it’s a start anyway.

 

“I’m flattered, Thor. But as I always say; flattery is unbecoming.”

 

“I fail to see any flattery in my words.”

 

“You of all people know I cam perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

 

He did not say it outright, but you both knew you were right.

 

 

“I don’t think it’s good for the two of you to… stay. As a couple.”

 

“A couple? Really?”

 

“Whatever it is that is going on with the two of you.”

 

“Well, Thor. It never bothered you before, whatever it was that went on between the two of us.”

 

“Then I’ve changed my mind.”

 

“Enh.” You made the sound of a buzzer. “Restatement of comments already made.”

 

“By the heavens, what are you talking about?!” He was losing it.

 

“You tell me, Thor. On your word. Why do you care what happens between Loki and I?”

 

 

“I don’t know, alright!”

 

That was unexpected.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Apparently you won’t take any of my answers. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

 

“It has nothing to do with what I want.”

 

“Oh, really?!” Don’t even think about turning the tables.

 

“Yes, really. I’ve already told you. You have an unhealthy interested in this subject.”

 

“Unhealthy.” He scoffed. Careful, Thor. Arrogance was never becoming of you. There’s a difference in pride, you know.

 

“If you’d rather question my judgment instead of stating your case as to why you have a right to know the information to begin with, so be it. Yes. Unhealthy.”

 

“I beg to differ.” Well, that’s a lot of sarcasm there.

 

“So it is healthy then, for you to be sitting off by yourself away from your duties, or your “normal” life, to communicate with another being in another dimension about her relationship with your estranged brother, both of whom you have not pursued nor would have in the foreseeable future had the opportunity not dropped in your proverbial lap?”

 

“That’s a lot of words, (y/n).”

 

“Yes. And all true.”

 

“Agree to disagree then.”

 

“You can agree to anything you’d like to Thor.”

 

“And you?”

 

“I have a kingdom to tend to, don’t I?”

 

“Don’t kid yourself.”

 

“Indeed; no jests. Only lies.”

 

“You could care less about Asguard.”

 

“And you could care more about me. Or could you?”

 

“Flattery is unbecoming, (y/n).”

 

“Queen (Y/N).”

 

“I bow before you then, My Queen.”

 

“Oh Thor. Like I was ever yours.”

 

“But you wished it.”

 

“Well it seems I can hide nothing from you.”

 

He stopped at this omission. It’s not what he wanted. It’s not what he meant. But what could he do? He was a slave to his own thoughts in here. Whatever they may be.

 

“The question is, Thor. Do you really think you can hide from me?”

 

“I have nothing to hide.”

 

“Look in the mirror then. Maybe you’ll change your mind.” And with that, you were gone.

 

“(Y/n)!” You could hear him call. You always could. But it was up to you whether to answer or not. If only he knew.

 

But he didn’t. You were an enabler after all. It was because of you that he still had the ability to lie to himself.

 

You care too much Thor. About me. Let me be. For your sake. But you knew he couldn’t. Not when he refused to see.

 

 

“Your Highness!” You were unsettled by the title. Apparently Loki had wasted no time informing the rest of Asguard.

 

“Yes, lass?”

 

“His Majesty requests your presence.”

 

“Very well. Where is he?”

 

She bit her lip.

 

“Well?”

 

“He’s… with the guards Ma’am. He seems… upset.”

 

“With the guards where?” Was everyone being evasive today? Well you better not take it out on the poor girl.

 

“In the court, Your Ladyship.”

 

“Very well then.” You walked towards the hall, flanked by another lass.

 

“… Ma’am?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I must warn you…”

 

“What is it?”

 

“It seems… it…”

 

She was quivering now. What on earth?

 

“The prisoner has returned, Your Highness.” The other maiden spoke up. “His Majesty’s brother.”

 

“With his friends- his soldiers.”

 

Well. This was about to get interesting.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN
> 
> i deserve a round of applause for this chapter. the dialogue alone was a bitch to write. so enjoy it lovelies!
> 
> random ramblings;
> 
> i just had to bring the rest of the team in. i couldn't help it. you'll see why in the next chapter ;)  
> this series is probably the most challenging yet- but i've tackled it like a pro
> 
> what is thor's issue? discuss, lovelies. discuss. speculate. all will become clear...maybe. eventually. hopefully. once i sort my shit out ;)
> 
> i was thinking about italicizing certain parts so you could differentiate between who was talking in person and who was talking telepathically- but i like to keep it ambiguous to see if you can figure it out; sometimes there's different reactions/interpretations too which is really fun
> 
> quick poll: what's your favorite line/banter of this chapter? (if you particularly enjoyed any)
> 
> kudos to anyone who caught the double entendres i slipped in there ;) point them out if you saw any
> 
> it was challenging to get the voice just right- i'm so used to writing lovely as a relatively normal speaker- but she's supposed to be more "sophisticated" (let's just say she speaks more like loki/thor than tony ;) ) but i think i got it right. i don't ever want to be one of those people who don't know what they're writing and just stick random adjectives in. hopefully you can tell the maturation in voice (and that i'm not a fool who just uses a thesaurus haphazardly)
> 
> of course i would manage to bring my absolute favorite into the story ;) but wait! it gets even better!
> 
> leave me some comments guys! thanks for reading! XOXOXO


	5. She-Wolf 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day??!! 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy my lovelies! leave a comment if you liked!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor is a dick  
> Loki is overprotective
> 
> Everyone else is shenanigans

“Thank you for joining us, (y/n).” Was it your imagination or did he sound slightly possessive. And his throne was definitely closer to yours than before.

 

“Anything, My Lord.” He raised an eyebrow. Whoops.

 

“It seems my dear brother has decided to entertain us with his presence today.” You don’t say…

 

You looked towards the figures standing below. All of the palace guards must have crowded in. Clint caught your eye and winked. Cheeky bastard. Fortunately, Loki missed it.

 

“What brings you here, Thor?” You turned to address the rest. “The… Avengers, I presume.”

 

“That’s right sweetie.” Tony Stark, the Iron Man. A man with thick glasses next to him put his hand on his arm, warning. Ah, the fabled Dr. Banner.

 

“I must speak to you.”

 

“So here she is.” Yup, Loki was definitely on edge. How was it possible for him to develop jealousy on the little he knew about you and Thor’s recent dealings? Which was basically nothing?

 

“Alone.” Brave, very brave.

 

“Surely you are joking, brother.”

 

“Do I look to you to be in a gaming mood?”

 

“Perhaps you have a death wish instead.” Loki growled. The guards stood at attention all around you.

 

“Easy now, Frosty. Don’t forget our little friend here.” Tony again. The billionaire placed his hand on the green beast’s shoulder.

 

 

Well this was certainly interesting. And getting absolutely nowhere.

 

 

“Whatever you have to say, I’m sure you can say in front of us all, Thor.”

 

“I’m not sure that would be beneficial, to either of us, (y/n).” Well this was new. You had definitely gotten under his skin. But honestly, he should know better to threaten you.

 

The Odinson boys- their temper was their downfall.

 

“I’m quite sure I misunderstand your meaning.”

 

“Be careful how you address the Queen of Asguard, brother.” Loki’s tone was menacing.

 

“Oh she is the Queen now, is she. Seems only yesterday she was merely your…pet?”

 

Oh Thor, you should know better. If you’re trying to blow my cover, you should definitely be prepared for the… fallout.

 

“You will speak with nothing but respect to her!” He slammed his palm against the arm of the throne. There was a collective intake of breath from the guards. Most of the Avengers seemed nonplussed.

 

“It is alright, Loki.” You reached your hand over, drawing your fingers through his. Thor’s friends’ eyes widened. Yup. Things were different now. “I’m sure your brother means no harm.”

 

He gritted his teeth, but said no more.

 

“If it is my audience you wish to have, Thor, you have it now.” He could not mistake the glint in your eyes. “My undivided attention.” The syllables flowed out like honey; it was only fitting the silver-tongued prince have a bride equally as eloquent.

 

 

“I would strongly advise against us discussing in front of an audience, (y/n).” He stressed the word audience with care.

 

“You are testing my patience, brother.” If Thor’s plan was to create another intergalactic war he was doing great.

 

“What are you doing?” You spoke to Thor within his mind.

 

“I could no longer reach you!”

 

“So your plan was to storm the palace?!”

 

“If that’s what it took to speak to you.”

 

“Dear god, if this is what happens when we are out of contact for an hour how have you survived for so long?” A slight smile brushed the corners of his lips.

 

Luckily, the tension in the room distracted all attention from that twitch.

 

“So now what?”

 

“I don’t know, Thor? Did you have any other plan or ideas beyond blowing into castle like the plague?”

 

“Well…”

 

“How did you even convince your friends to go along with this moronic idea?!”

 

“…they were bored?”

 

You refused to laugh. “That excuse only works when I say it, and you know that.”

 

“Would you believe they missed you?”

 

And just like that, you were going to save his ass. That wit, above all.

 

 

“My King.”                                       

 

The assurance in your voice drew Loki’s eyes to you.

 

“There must be a way for us to discuss things more… civilly. Is there not?”

 

“I don’t see why that is necessary.”

 

“He is your brother, Loki.”

 

“Inconsequential.”

 

“Loki.” Your voice was caring, persuasive. “He is no longer a prisoner.”

 

“I am aware.”

 

“After all, it was your grace that set him free, was it not?” Even Tony was impressed with how you were handling this.

 

“And what of it?”

 

“Is it so hard to have a peaceful meeting of Midguardians and Asguardians?”

 

“You of all people should understand the dynamics between our world and theirs.” The venom in his voice was almost tangible. And yet he was no match.

 

“Then as an act of diplomacy, My King.” It was that easy.

 

He made a visible effort to consider the idea. You knew you had already won. You could practically hear his sigh.

 

“I will make a rare exception. This time.” The last two words were especially hard. “For the sake of our Queen.”

 

“Our Queen.” The guards kneeled in respect; you didn’t think you should ever get used to this. You nodded your head so they would rise again.

 

“Well see? That wasn’t so hard.” You wondered how Tony managed to stay alive for so long.

 

“Take our… guests to the courtyard.” A horde of soldiers crowded around them, pushing them towards the garden.

 

“So… that way then?” Good god. Tony was an idiot.

 

 

“I’m not sure this is a good idea, (y/n). In fact I’m quite sure it is not.”

 

“You do not expect us to remain enemies forever My Lord, do you?”

 

“I see no problem with that.”

 

“I know I am in no danger when I’m with you, My King.”

 

He drew you towards him then. Beyond his pride, he worried about you incessantly. Especially after what had transpired this morning. You wondered how no one else saw his transparency. Nonetheless, it was endearing.

 

“This is for you then, (y/n).”

 

“You owe me no favors, Loki.”

 

“Let me do this for you, then. My first act as your husband.”

 

You linked your arm under his and together you went to see your friends.

 

 

You could see the guards stationed carefully throughout the courtyard. He needn’t have worried.

 

“My King? Perhaps you would like to rest here instead of… socializing.”

 

“As much as appeals to me, I would not leave you alone amongst these monsters, my love.”

 

“They would not fool you, Loki. As such, you have grown stronger. They would be no match for you either way.”

 

“You are quite the charmer, (y/n).”

 

“That is why I am your queen, is it not?” You knew how to put him at ease best.

 

“That and much more, love.”

 

“Be at ease then, My King.” You motioned to some guards and servants to attend to Loki’s whims.

 

Now, to enjoy yourself.

 

 

“So which one of you was yahoo enough to go along with this?”

 

“Good to see you too, (y/n).” You smiled warmly at Steve, and then the rest of the Avengers. It had been a while.

 

“May we speak freely?”

 

“No Thor, (y/n) convinced Reindeer Games to take us here so he could eavesdrop on everything.”

 

“Hello Stark.”

 

“Hey sweetie.”

 

“Can we do hugs?”

 

“Are you serious Clint?! Do you want to die?”

 

You smiled wider. It really had been too long. “I suppose we could manage it.”

 

The archer reached forward and grabbed you in a tight hug, lifting you off your feet. “It’s been a bit, Hawk.”

 

Bruce looked ill. Steve rushed to assure him. “(Y/n)’s got it covered, Bruce. We won’t be discovered.”

 

 

“How can we know for sure?”

 

“Well if a frost giant appears out of nowhere, I would advise you to bid your farewells.” You grasped Nat the Cat’s hand in greeting.

 

“What if he really can see all of us, but he’s pretending until-“

 

“Will you shut up and give me a hug Tony?”

 

“Starting to sound like an Earthling already, (y/n).” He pulled you into a tight hug before messing up your hair. “So. Mrs. Loki Reindeerson huh. When did this happen?”

 

“About an hour ago.”

 

“So that’s why you rushed us here Thor.”

 

“May I speak with (y/n) now?”

 

“Thor. We just got here.” You put an arm around Bucky and Steve as they admonished him. “Give us two seconds to say hi to (y/n).”

 

“That reminds me. What exactly was so urgent that you blew a hole in, I don’t know, the atmosphere, to see me?”

 

“I just wanted to see if you were alright, (y/n).”

 

“You coulda just sent her a postcard.”

 

 

“The last one never arrived.” You came to Thor’s defense. He was a doofus, but a good one.

 

“Nice to see you, (y/n).”

 

“And you, Bruce. Although I’ll have to ask you not to smash Loki into smithereens this time.”

 

“I’ll try.” He smiled.

 

“So it looks like you got mini-Thor all wrapped up around your finger, don’t you.”

 

“Tell me something new, Tony.” You leaned your head back and laughed.

 

“You didn’t seem so independent last time.”

 

“You must have a short-term memory then, Mr. Stark.”

 

“We all do, Your Highness.”

 

“How’s Pepper?”

 

“Oh you know, the usual. Mad at me.”

 

“Unfairly, I’m sure.”

 

“That’s what I’m saying!”

 

“And Jane, Thor?”

 

“You know as well as I do, (y/n).”

 

“Out of common courtesy, was all.” No one missed his sudden brusqueness.

 

 

“As happy as I am to see you all, I think it might be better to set up an appointment in the future.”

 

“So your God can give you time off?”

 

“For good behavior, naturally.” If you could handle Thor, Tony was a breeze. “That’s how Thor got out, right?”

 

“I’m not so sure about that.” Nat the Cat spoke up.

 

“Oh? Enlighten me, Ms. Romanov.” The two of you grinned at each other.

 

“I’d hate to let the cat out of the bag.” You and Thor shared a look at this expression. “Let’s just say I think you had a hand in it.”

 

“Or a paw.”

 

“Cute, Clint.”

 

“I’m sure you give me way too much credit Natasha.” She smiled mysteriously.

 

“Alright, let’s give the two lovebirds some privacy so Thor can get over his PMS.”

 

“Lovebirds? Really Tony?”

 

“Yeah aren’t they like, siblings now?”

 

“Ooh, incest. Sexy. Jane’s got nothing on that, huh.”

 

“Oh gross!” Tony led the rest of the team to the side of the courtyard.

 

 

“Ah, alone at last.” You just couldn’t help yourself. “It’s good to see you Thor.”

 

“Yes, it has been a while, hasn’t it.”

 

He stood with his hands behind his back, feet spread apart. You raised an eyebrow.

 

“A handshake, at least?”

 

“My brother…” He motioned behind you at a very bored looking Loki. As far as Loki could see, you were having a serious conversation with the Avengers. He didn’t care to hear what about; he wouldn’t have gotten the real thing even if he tried.

 

“Why Thor, I’m disappointed in you.” You let him fumble a bit before you continued. “If my magic was so weak, wouldn’t Loki have manhandled Clint the moment he touched me?”

 

“He wouldn’t reach me, Miss Queen.” Thor turned to glare at Clint, who wandered off whistling.

 

 

He turned back to you, awkwardly. You let it go. “So I’m here now, Thor. Talk.”

 

“You… uh… you look well.” Oh honestly.

 

“As do you. Midguard becomes you.” He cracked a smile; he couldn’t help it.

 

“My brother…” Still, he didn’t have the words. “He treats you well?”

 

“We had a bit of a mishap this morning but other than that, we’re just dandy.”

 

“Mishap?”

 

“Nothing to worry about, really.” It was sort of true.

 

“What happened, (y/n). Tell me.”

 

Well you probably shouldn’t have brought it up. Oh well. “Well I returned didn’t I, after so long.”

 

“Was he angry?”

 

“Furious.”

 

“See? That’s why I had to come!” Your friends turned at his raised voice.

 

“How many times have I assured you I can take care of myself.”

 

“That’s besides the point.”

 

“How, exactly?”

 

He sighed angrily. “You always act if everything is okay. Even when it’s not.”

 

“Everything looks okay to me.”

 

“Exactly!” He made an effort to calm himself. “He could be doing god knows what to you, and you would pretend nothing was the matter.”

 

“Well I would know, wouldn’t I.”

 

“It’s not funny, (y/n).”

 

“Not even a little?”

 

“I worry about you!” He exploded. The courtyard was silent.

 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

 

He looked as if he was accepting your apology. So you continued.

 

“I’m sorry that my being causes you stress. Nonetheless, there is nothing I can do about it. It is out of my hands. And not my responsibility.” You were not harsh with him, though you had a right to be. You were firm, instead.

 

“Why won’t you let anybody care about you?!”

 

“It seems your brother does, at the very least.”

 

“Yes, the same one who probably manhandled you as soon as you stepped foot inside the palace.”

 

“Womanhandled, really.”

 

“Let me see.” He demanded, reaching towards you.

 

“See what, exactly?” You stepped out of his grasp.

 

“Let me see what he did to you.”

 

“Seriously?” It was Tony who interrupted this time. “She’s obviously fine, Thor. Stop being such a mother hen.”

 

“It is not your business, Brother Stark.”

 

“Nor yours, Thor.”

 

“It is, yes. It involves my brother. And you.”

 

“And we are both fine.”

 

“You call this fine?!” He gestured around, at the guards spread across the way, at Loki sitting a ways away, watching with dark eyes. Your husband.

 

“I fail to see how it is anything but fine.”

 

“We’re surrounded by numerous guards, our every move watched by the man who single-handedly created destruction through the kingdom.”

 

“I would hardly call it watching.”

 

“Then what would you call it?!.”

 

“Observing. If he were in fact, able to see what is going on. Which he is not. Making your point absolutely moot.”

 

 

“I love it when people use moot in conversation.”

 

“Stop eavesdropping Tony.”

 

“As if you’re not doing the same thing, Tasha.” 

 

“Both of you shut up. I can’t hear a damn thing.”

 

Steve rolled his eyes. He was the only one good enough not to intrude.

 

 

“You’re worried Thor. You’ve made it clear. As I have as well that I can take care of myself.”

 

“This is what they call a Mexican stand-off then.”

 

“It makes no difference whether you agree. Or how you feel. I’m here, in Asguard. You’re away, on Earth. Whatever happens to either of us cannot be dictated by the other.”

 

“You’re not safe, (y/n).”

 

“Was I ever, really?”

 

“Don’t do this.”

 

“No. You. Don’t do this.” You had had enough. “Don’t come storming into my life all of a sudden like you have control of it, like you have a right to make a say in it.”

 

“You started this, Your Highness.”

 

“You don’t get it, do you?!” It was your turn to lose control. “I only spoke to you to put things to ease.”

 

“You said you missed me.”

 

“And you said you weren’t sure if it was a good idea to speak to me again.”

 

“So I was wrong! Is it impossible for a man to be wrong?”

 

“But you weren’t!”

 

 

You took a deep breath. “You weren’t wrong. You were right. This is not a good idea.” “This.” You motioned around to the guards filling the beautiful garden like ants. “Is not a good idea.”

 

“You can’t expect me to just let this go.”

 

“That is exactly what I expect you to do.”

 

“Then you are insane.” He threw his hands up in the air.

 

“It wasn’t hard for you to do the last time.” There. You said it. Everyone heard it. Even Loki possibly heard it.

 

 

“You hold it against me.” His voice was soft now.

 

“On the contrary. I let you go. This? This on the other hand, I hold against you.”

 

“Me? I was wrong. I shouldn’t have talked to you. I don’t linger; I don’t dwell.”

 

“Yet you have returned to my brother.”

 

“He looked for me.”

 

“And I didn’t.” Maybe he was beginning to understand.

 

 

“I was breaking out, (y/n)! We were running away! Was I supposed to somehow find you, Loki’s right hand, without being captured by him?!”

 

“Did you even look.” It was not a question.

 

“How would we find you?!”

 

“I never seemed to have a problem finding you.” You could not make him see.

 

“I made a mistake, Thor. And I am truly sorry. I see it now. I shouldn’t have found you.” You hated apologies. Pride was an issue for all three of you. You, Loki, Thor. “I should have foreseen the problems it would cause. It was selfish. And foolish.” You looked directly into his eyes. “Will you forgive me?”

 

“I cannot forgive you for something you did right.”

 

“It’s not right, Thor.” You were tired of yelling. “This is not right. You, in Asguard, in the castle that’s now your brother’s. You, reaching out to me in your sleep.” Your friends looked among each other, astonished. “You, appearing unannounced to the place you sought to escape.”

 

“And I have succeeded. With no violence.”

 

“Yet.”

 

“You and I both know that no harm will come to us today.”

 

 

“You and I both know that is in my hands, and not yours.” Your words were hard now. “You didn’t look, Thor, because you didn’t want to say goodbye. No, don’t interrupt me. Listen, for once. For the love of god, listen.” He closed his mouth.

 

“You couldn’t say goodbye. Because that would mean defining whatever it is that we had. Whatever it is that you felt. And that? That I could understand. You know, by now; that night, I left. On my own accord. And I gave you the freedom to do just that. Leave, without a goodbye.”

 

You could see the contradiction on the tip of his tongue. “But you couldn’t leave well enough alone, now could you?”

 

He could hold his silence no longer. “How could I, once you reached out to me?!”

 

“You imbecile!” The words pierced the air. “I only reached out to you because you could not, for the life of you, let me be!”

 

His mouth gaped open. “Can’t you see? You could hear me only because you were listening. But it never occurred to you that I responded because you wouldn’t stop calling for me?!”

 

Comprehension dawned on his face, but he was speechless.

 

“I told you to go home. To your Goddess. Your true Goddess. NOT. ME.” You leveled your voice now. “And that’s what I’m telling you now. Go home.”

 

His hands had dropped loosely at his sides. “Forget about me. You have your love. You have your Jane.”

 

His blue eyes blinked unceasingly. “Remember? Jane loves you. Not me.”

 

He longed to breach the silence. But he couldn’t. “I can’t love you like Jane loves you. And you? You can’t love me.” And with that, you broke the spell.

 

 

“My King.”

 

“(Y/n)?”

 

“He has said his fill.” Thor’s eyes were still open, glued to you. But you had had enough. “Let them go.”

 

“Very well.” He turned to the Avengers, who had by now realized they were all connected again. In the same reality. “You will take your leave. This time.”

 

Your friends gathered around Thor, who was still frozen. It almost broke your heart, not giving them a chance to see you off properly. But Thor had used up the time. Your freedom.

 

You saw their eyes. They understood. But Thor did not.

 

“Brother.” Loki’s voice lowered. Like a snake preparing for a kill. “Do not overstay your welcome. I’m giving you your second chance to go. I suggest. You. Take it.”

 

Still, Thor did not move. He could not stop looking at you. His eyes were full of betrayal, of sorrow. You had betrayed nothing. But he would not accept that.

 

“Thor.” It was Tony who spoke to Thor now, shaking his arm. “Get us out of here.” He barely recognized his friend’s presence.

 

“Thor.” Natasha spoke next, firmly. Even her commanding tone did little to sway him.

 

Beside you, Loki bristled. Even worse, he had noticed Thor’s eyes still trained on you, unmoving.

 

“I’ll ask one last time, brother. After that, it will no longer be a request. Or an option. LEAVE!”

 

He acknowledged the present now. Still, Thor was slow to move. As if he were testing you; or testing himself. Really, he was testing Loki. To see if he would be killed.

 

You though, had lost your patience.

 

You screamed.

 

“GO!!!!”

 

And Thor’s arm raised, hammer drawn, and everyone you knew and loved from Earth returned from whence they came.

                                                         

 

“Are you alright, my darling?”

 

“Yes, My Lord I am.”

 

You leaned against him heavily. He took your weight with ease. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Tired, My Lord. I’m so tired.”

 

“Indeed; I would be too. You’ve done well, My Queen.”

 

“Nothing but the best for My King.” Even in your weariness you could see the humor in that.

 

“Let’s get you to rest now, (y/n).” He signaled the guards to retreat and held your hand, stroking your fingers, before leading you back to his chambers.

 

And even with Loki’s body firmly around you, light-years away, Thor would not stop. Calling.

 

 

“Give it up, Thor.” Tony poured him a drink. He meant well, but he was probably going to get everything into a mess.

 

Luckily, Steve was nearby. “I know (y/n) meant well, Thor.”

 

He was slumped against the wall, silent.

 

“Yeah, if it weren’t for her, we’d all be dead. Or stuck in some stinky cell. No offense.” Steve shot Tony a look.

 

“What were you thinking?” It wasn’t pretty, but it needed to be said. “We could have been killed.”

 

“Don’t be so hard on him.” Bucky spoke up. “Bruce would’ve taken care of it.”

 

“Bruce shouldn’t have to take care of it.” Nat the Cat wasn’t letting Thor off this easy. “The whole idea was stupid to begin with.”

 

“Well it’s water under the bridge at any rate.” Bruce had walked in to put another pot of coffee on. “No need to dwell on it.”

 

“No need to dwell…” Thor muttered.

 

 

“Good going, Brucie.” Tony shot him a glare, which was pretty brave all things considered. Or stupid.

 

“Here, man, take a seat.” Steve guided Thor to the sofa. He sat down, keeping his eyes low, his hands clasped.

 

“Jane just called, sir.” Jarvis spoke up. “She wants to know when you’ll be home for dinner.”

 

“Cut it out, Jarvis! Can’t you see he’s having a moment here?”

 

“My apologies, sir, but I felt it was necessary to inform him. She called half an hour ago.”

 

“Well why didn’t you say so?”

 

Jarvis thought it best to keep his figurative mouth shut for the moment.

 

 

“Tell her I’ll be back soon.”

 

“Hey man, does she know-“

 

“No, Clint. She does not.” Nat the Cat shot him a look.

 

“What? I was just asking.”

 

“Alright, everyone, just give him some space.” Bucky waved everyone off. The last thing he needed was more pestering.

 

“I can’t believe she didn’t even try to kiss you Clint.”

 

“Right?!”

 

“She’s married now, Tony!”

 

“Married shmarried. Bet money Reindeer Games can’t keep her warm at night.”

 

“Augh, don’t talk about her like that.” Steve was bright orange.

 

“Hey, I ain’t shaming her. All I’m saying is, she’s gonna need a lot more than Frosty to keep her occupied.”

 

“Ain’t that right.”

 

“Bucky!”

 

“It’s true, Steve.”

 

“She’s obviously taken!”

 

“You’re so old-fashioned Capsicle.”

 

“So you’re encouraging adultery?”

 

“Don’t be a square.”

 

“Wow Bucky you sound so old right now.”

 

“Shut up. I don’t see you getting it on with Pepper.”

 

“Bucky!!”

 

“Guys I think you should give Steve a break. He looks like he’s about to pass out.”

 

“Whatever, Tasha. Hey when’s the last time you- OW!”

 

 

 

“I can’t stop thinking about you (y/n). I know you can hear me.”

 

…

 

“I can’t shut it off, (y/n). Anymore than you.”

 

…

 

“I can’t do this alone. I need you to help me.”

 

…

 

“I need you. Princess.”

 

He was trying a different tactic. Creative, but it would prove less than fruitful.

 

“You were right.”

 

No shit Sherlock.

 

“I couldn’t say it then.”

 

…

 

“I don’t think I can say it now.”

 

I guess if you could, you would have, huh.

 

“But I have to try. Because it’s the only way.”

 

Dramatic much?

 

“Goodbye, (y/n).”

 

Goodbye, Thor.

 

But you didn’t believe it for a minute, and even he probably couldn’t either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DRAMADRAMADRAMAMAAAAAA
> 
> i just had to put clint in there *cuddles*   
> and everyone else. we can't do a long fic without the fambam   
> *group hug with the avengers*  
> gimme some love if you enjoyed!
> 
> random ramblings:  
> i just realized i mispelled pepper as piper. i've probably done this in all my fics. oh well. i'm not going to go edit it  
> quick poll: who should lovely be with, Loki or Thor?  
> (fair warning: this is for curiosity's sake. i already have a lot of stuff planned out. muahaha)  
> shoutout to Pharm for calling this chapter like it was before i even posted it. also shoutout for being steve to my bucky  
> shoutout to all my lovelies who give me a comment; you guys make my day and it is sooo satisfying to hear your encouragement!  
> in case you didnt know, lovely put up an illusion so they could talk. and hug. mostly hug. because clint needs to be hugged.   
> quick poll 2: would you rather be able to shapeshift into any creature (except for other human beings) or to cast illusions (but not change your own appearance/appear to be someone/something else)
> 
> gimme some love if you enjoyed!
> 
>  
> 
> oh yeah quick poll 3: mrs. Laufeyson, Mrs. Loki, Mrs. Reindeerson Mrs. Frostyson (no Mrs. Odinson, Pharm. Nope.)


	6. She-Wolf 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> super short fluffster because all my writing has been so intense lately
> 
> fluffflufffluffedyfluff
> 
> enjoy lovelies!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFFFFFF
> 
> finally thor gets to be happy for like 300 words

“(Y/n)…” Loki was murmuring your name, stroking your hair. You’d never imagine him to be so clingy.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Are you hungry?”

 

“Are you, My Lord?”

 

“A little. I don’t suppose you feel up to joining me in the Hall?”

 

“I’m sure I can manage.” You sat up, leaning lightly against his shoulder.

 

“Have you ever said no to me, my love?”

 

“Now how would I answer that question, Loki?” He smiled.

 

“You were always a bright one.” Perceptive.

 

“Here. Stay in bed. I’ll have some food brought for us.”

 

“Yes, My Lord.”

 

He shook his finger at you. “Loki.”

 

 

All these people pressing against you; it should have been exhausting. You were always a free spirit, after all. You couldn’t quite fathom how everything had become… this. So fast.

 

Maybe you’d go for a romp later. The forest was calling your name.

 

Then again, seeing your Midguardian friends had set you off your course. Had it been so long? Indeed, it was unlike you to get attached. This is why you didn’t do visits. After the two you made today, it was clear why.

 

Oh for the love of all that is holy, there he goes again.

 

 

“Thor.” Steve shook his friend awake.

 

“What?! What is it?!”

 

“It’s past nine- Jane’s calling again.”

 

“Oh.” It took him a second to take in his surroundings. “Let me speak to her.”

 

 

“Thor?”

 

“Yes, my love?”

 

“Where’ve you been? I’ve been calling and calling!”

 

“I’m sorry, my love, I must have lost track of time.”

 

“Well whatever it is, come home. I’ve finished dinner and it’s getting cold.”

 

“I’ll be right there.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“…Thor?”

 

“Yes dear?”

 

“I love you.”

 

“And I love you, Jane.”

 

With a click she was gone. Still, he did not rise.

 

“Hey, Thor.”

 

“Brother Steve.”

 

“Look… about (y/n).” He stiffened, but kept listening. “She cares. She really does. About you, about all of us. She just; she’s not very good at showing it.”

 

“So I’ve heard.”

 

“I think; I mean I’m not sure what exactly was going on between you earlier.” This, from Steve, and only Steve, was the truth. “But I think she just wants the best for you.”

 

“That she does.”

 

“Well, I’ll let you get going. But if you know, need someone… to talk to? I’m here.”

 

“Thank you Brother Steve.”

 

“Anytime, Thor.”

 

He was halfway down the hall when he turned.

 

“It’s none of my business, really, but… are you going to tell Jane?”

 

“Shouldn’t I?”

 

“Honestly? I don’t know man… I don’t know.”

 

“Me neither.”

 

 

“Welcome home, honey.”

 

“Evening dear. That smells delicious.”

 

“It was, about three hours ago.”

 

“Sorry about that, love.”

 

“I suppose I’ll forgive you… this time.” She winked at him and he smiled. “Saving the world and all… I’m sure it’s a little distracting.”

 

“Just a bit. And how was your day?”

 

“Busy. Stressful. Lots to do. What’s new.” She got the plates and served dinner.

 

He could hear her chattering throughout the meal, and did his best to participate. He thought he did well, until they were in bed later.

 

“Something on your mind?”

 

“Hmm? Not really.”

 

“Come on Thor. Don’t even think about dodging the subject.” He smiled ruefully.

 

“You know me too well, love.”

 

“Of course! I am your love, after all.”

 

“Indeed. You are.” He paused. “My only.”

 

“So, talk to me.”

 

 

“…It’s about a friend.”

 

“One of the guys?”

 

“No… an old one.”

 

“(Y/n)?”

 

“You remember her?”

 

“Of course. Who doesn’t? She makes quite an impression.”

 

“That she does.”

 

“So, what about her?”

 

“Nothing specific. Just made her way into my mind recently.” She had no idea how literal it was.

 

“Hmm. It has been a while. She hasn’t been back since the last time, right?”

 

“No… she’s still in Asguard, I believe.”

 

“I hope she’s okay. With Loki and all.” She shuddered slightly, and Thor instinctively put his arms around her protectively.

 

“I’m sure she’s fine. (Y/n) could always take care of herself.” The phrase came so naturally.

 

“Yeah… but you’re worried, aren’t you?”

 

“I shouldn’t be.”

 

“But you are.” She turned then, to look at him. “It’s alright, Thor.”

 

“Is it?”

 

“Of course!” She looked earnestly into his eyes. “She’s your friend. You should be worried?”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.” She affirmed. “In fact, if you weren’t, that would be weird.”

 

“Is that right?”

 

“Absolutely.” She curled up against him. “That’s what friends do. Good friends. And that’s what you are.”

 

“Good friends…”

 

“Now, are we just going to sleep? Or…”

 

His laugh rang out and his thoughts finally turned away from you to his lover again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! lots more angst coming up
> 
> random ramblings;
> 
> this is like the first thorxjane thing i've written. i don't like it. mainly because thor should be in love with the reader. or off in love with pop tarts. no one should be able to have him except for lovely. 
> 
> except in this fic because ANGST
> 
> i don't think i've written a chapter this short. it's because i cut off part of this chapter to put in last chapter because i liked the flow better.
> 
> and because... well you'll see when you get the next chapter why i separated it. MUAHAHAHAHA
> 
> *Cries* *hands tissue* YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW *sniff*
> 
> quick poll:  
> fall asleep in loki's arms or sex with Thor??!!


	7. She-Wolf 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extreme things happen in this chapter. Amazing things. Terrible things.
> 
> Read more to find out.
> 
>  
> 
> And gimme some love if you liked!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so after over 72 hours of agonizing computerlessness i am finally back. i think i have a problem, because i swear i was suffering from withdrawal from not writing. and no i didn't have a computer to borrow. and NO I'M NOT USING PENCIL AND PAPER BECAUSE I WRITE SLOW AND MY HANDWRITING IS MESSY.
> 
> see how on edge i was??!!
> 
> anyway i'm so happy to be back and to write my ass off.
> 
> and now you may read. but be warned:
> 
> it's about to get HOT in here! (and you might not like it!)

The wind felt so good; it always did. It never ceased to amaze you either; no matter how many times you ran, the sensation would feel better than you remembered. I guess some things are so good that even the memory does them no justice.

 

You were finally out. Loki had insisted on keeping watch until you fell asleep. Was he being more possessive than usual? The more you thought about it, the more you realized how he had always been. When one is playing, it is often harder for them to pay attention to the other players around them.

 

It wasn’t that way with Thor though. Maybe because you couldn’t play with him. Was he too good to be played with? Too honest to be tricked? No. You had chosen to be true with him. That’s where the fun lay with Thor.

When he lied, it was no longer fun.

 

But he was gone for now, and you needed a good run. You shook out your hair, stretching luxuriously. Once you tired of the wilderness, you’d raise a little hell in the castle.

 

 

“My Lord!”

 

Loki was rudely awakened by a clearly distressed boy. “My Lord!”

 

“What is it?!” He spared the guard further scrutiny; obviously something was very wrong.

 

“The beast. I-it’s back!”

 

“The beast?”

 

“The one that terrorized us for so long. It has come back!”

 

He sat up abruptly. He had never had the chance to see it up close. Or at all. It only struck when he was gone. This would be interesting. Maybe even fun.

 

In a whisk he was dressed and ready for battle. “Where are the rest of the men?”

 

“Surrounding the front of the palace sir.”

 

“Only the front?!”

 

“No, sir. Some of the force has remained to defend all other areas.”

 

At least they weren’t completely incompetent. “Where is the beast now?”

 

“I-I don’t know sir.” He dropped to his knees.

 

“Well, be off then.” The boy scurried off gratefully.

 

 

Loki honed his vision to castle gates. He could see men rushing about, yelling and waving their weapons. Good grief. One animal and they lose their heads. They might as well lose their heads.

 

He looked upward and saw the archers, bows at ready, arrows flying. At least those soldiers were making themselves useful. More piled up, with oil and cotton for lighting. Below, men were carrying vats of molten metal, in case the creature got close enough.

 

Now, where was the beast?

 

 

Ahh, the Prince himself was coming out to play. This should be fun. Oh, you were having a blast. You pranced about the woods, in and out of the shadows. The arrows came close; but you were too far for them to truly prove a challenge. No matter; you would get closer soon enough. For now, you wanted to make them wait. Worry. Fear.

 

You felt Loki’s eyes scanning the base of the defense, traveling upwards. He was right; the archers were much more proficient than the foot soldiers. You’d let Clint know sometime. If you ever saw them again.

 

Now, he was peering into the darkness towards you. Come on, My Lord. Just a little closer…

 

 

Loki thought he saw something flicker through the darkness. No, he was sure of it. A movement too quick for a regular animal. No, they were right. This was a beast. He was ready.

 

He blinked, and appeared in the center of the troops, scattering them into an actual formation.

 

“My Lord! It is too dangerous.”

 

“Nonsense.”

 

“Your Highness, I beg of you-“

 

“There’s no need. The one’s you should worry about is yourselves. If you don’t prove successful in this endeavor there will be consequences.”

 

The troops quaked, but readied themselves. “One more thing.”

 

“Anything, Our Lordship.”

 

“Make sure (y/n) is safe.”

 

The head of the guard barked out orders as several boys scurried back inside.

 

“If so much as a cut grazes her, I will have all your heads.”

 

A lieutenant hurried inside to instruct the boys some more; information was needed to ensure survival, for them all.

 

 

Loki rose now, above the men. Those who looked up at him were reprimanded severely and returned their eyes to the battlefield.

 

 

“Here, kitty kitty kitty.”

 

 

Oh his voice was so silky. Just like your fur was. In his glory, above his kingdom, he was seductive for the first time. You just couldn’t let him down. One paw slid out, claws sheathing and unsheathing. Quick enough to offer him a mere tease.

 

 

“Now, now. Don’t be shy. Come on out, you beast.”

 

 

Hmm, this would not do. You didn’t particularly like that title, beast. It was so… boorish. Dull. Well you supposed you would have to show them what you truly were. And see if they had any words for that.

 

Loki’s brows raised as the creature slowly slipped into view. It was a sight to behold. Its pelt, bold, flashing in the moonlight. Its eyes were filled with; anger? Hate? No… desire. Desire for what? He couldn’t wait to find out. As it bared its fangs, he could swear it was smiling. The way the skin on its face creased; as if it were playing the best joke and no one knew. Its tail lashed through the air, almost taunting him. Beckoning him to the challenge. How could he say no?

 

 

With a roar, you leapt into the open. The arrows around you struck the ground harder than your footsteps. You felt the warmth of the flames, almost close enough to singe you. Ahh, they had prepared you a lovely surprise, should you come say hello. A barrage of men were approaching now, filled with a courage borne of fear; a greater fear of dying at the hands of Loki than the beast before them. You couldn’t help but feel some respect for the God of Mischief.

 

You avoided the soldiers easily, like an agile dancer. Some were tossed aside like leftovers; others were barreled over like bowling pins. You were closing the distance between you and Your King; and you could see the delight in his eyes. He wanted a confrontation, and he was getting one.

 

 

It was mesmerizing almost, the way the beast moved. It was no ordinary creature, to be sure. A mythical being perhaps; a product of magic and mischief, most likely. But what kind of man would he be to make it wait? With a flash he was behind you.

 

 

“Hello, my pet.”

 

 

Your skin practically burned with excitement. You hadn’t played like this in so long. Your tail whipped around him, warning. You could see his hands glowing and you let out an ecstatic howl.

 

 

“Awhoo!!!”

 

 

The soldiers scrambled up to support their Lord. The archers readied their arrows, praying to the Gods they would hit their mark and not their king. They needn’t have worried.

 

A flurry of light rushed towards you as you flattened yourself against the ground first, before pouncing ahead. The ground was littered with shards of ice. Loki grinned; you were not making this easy. He liked that.

 

Another Loki appeared in front of you, with two blades made of ice. As he brought them down, you stood up on your hind legs and shattered them with your claws, twisting around once more to avoid the beams from behind. Loki’s laugh echoed in the space at the thrill. A circle of his doubles surrounded you. Ah, he was upping the stakes. What a clever opponent. Well, you couldn’t disappoint.

 

You jumped at hit the air, watching the awe in the eyes of Loki’s men as you soared effortlessly across the sky.

 

Impressed, Loki joined you in flight, his copies following swiftly. Blue ropes appeared from all directions as they attempted to wrap around you. Ahh, so he wanted you alive. He wanted to conquer you, to own you. But never to destroy you. He was an admirer of beauty after all. You stretched casually, breaking all the bindings, the ropes whipping back to slash at the doubles. Some were able to dodge; others weren’t so lucky. Loki’s eyes widened as a few of his doubles fell from the sky, in pieces. Angered, the ropes became spears and they flew at you from all directions. There was no way you could avoid all of them.

 

So you didn’t. Instead of ducking, you turned on the spikes, watching Loki’s face crease with worry; afraid he would maul this wonder of nature. He needn’t have worried.

 

Your claws unsheathed in the air as they moved fast as lightning, deflecting the spears in fluid motions. The spikes flew backwards, hitting the doubles in their chests, legs, throats. Your tail wrapped around the rest, pulling them towards you, before you left them simply drop to the ground. As more of his copies fell, Loki’s temper rose. This was being a nuisance.

 

A wall of ice surrounded you entirely, like a glass cage. Loki’s hand twisted, commanding the walls to collapse and crush you. Cute.

 

 

You shook yourself with a force as the ice splintered and disintegrated, raining down. Slicked down under the moon, you had an inkling of what it meant to be a Goddess.

 

 

Loki’s hand trembled slightly. This creature was more powerful than he expected. He hadn’t wanted to resort to this, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

 

His eyes burned red as his skin paled into a deep shade of blue. His limbs stretched and his fingers grew, until he was towering above his kingdom; the Frost Giant.

 

You could feel the terror of your subjects more than the cold that swept across the country.

 

 

Loki swiped the air now, his talon-like hands reaching out to grab you. You spun out of his reach, using one paw to rip through one of his fingers.

 

He roared in anger, before descending upon you like an avalanche. All around you was blue ice, chilling you to the bone.

 

If only he knew the fire that burned inside you. You didn’t want to show off; but he started it.

 

In a flash, you were glowing. No. You were flaming. Flames leapt from your skin, hitting the ice and dissolving it instantaneously. Boulders of ice melted off you, whips cracking towards you crackled and split. You could feel the flesh around you; Loki’s flesh, burning. He needed to stop.

 

Loki howled in pain. He had severely underestimated this beast. There was no other option. The frost giant disappeared, replaced once again by Lokis. Lots of them.

 

The swords in their hands were steel this time. His natural element was no match for your blaze.

There was no strategy, no calculation to this move. No beauty. Just chaos.

 

Hundreds of blades pierced against you, pushing, twisting, doing their best to impale you. To end your reign above the only God in the land.

 

 

But you had lived in the wild so long. Thorns, branches, were no match for you, naturally. But metal traps, claws, and pits of spikes? They were as much a part of your domain as well. If you want to rise above it all, you needed a thick skin, now didn’t you.

 

Loki pushed his copies towards you with all his might. The clash of blades, the screech of metal against metal vibrated within everyone’s souls. But no weapon could penetrate you. Not anymore. And with a mighty cry, the blades fell limply to the ground. The duplicates dissipated. And the God of Lies fell from the heavens, tumbling onto the shards that you had left in your wake.

 

You didn’t see the fear in his eyes, or the horror of all who bore witness. As far as you were concerned, the game was over. It had been a good run; but all good things must come to an end. And without another look at the devastation around you, you were gone.

 

 

Back in your bed, you stretched painfully. The fight had definitely pushed you physically. Loki was a commendable opponent to be sure. You kneaded your shoulders firmly, hissing at the pain. It was at that moment the handmaidens rushed in.

 

“Your Ladyship!” The concern in their voice touched you. “The King!”

 

Good news travels fast. “What is it?”

 

“He’s- he’s been injured!”

 

“By the beast?!”

 

“Yes! We must bring you to him immediately.”

 

“Where are the healers? Are they tending to him?”

 

“They are doing their best- but they are having trouble even moving him. Please, ma’am. You have to hurry!” You panged at the alarm in their voices. You gathered yourself and followed their hurried steps towards the field where you had left him moments ago.

 

 

“(Y/n)!” Loki’s voice was strained as he called your name. You had not expected him to have been injured so deeply.

 

“Loki!” He stopped you as you rushed towards him.

 

“The blades! Don’t come any closer!”

 

He was bleeding badly; the ground around him was coated red. He shouldn’t have landed so hard. Where were the healers? Why wasn’t he regenerating?!

 

“Where are the healers?!” You demanded.

 

“They’re on their way, Your Highness. They had to fetch more supplies.”

 

“And none stayed to look after their King in the meantime?”

 

“Forgive us, Your Ladyship.” They were crouching now, at a distance. The sight of their fallen lord was staggering.

 

You cursed under your breath. He should have been stronger than this. You stepped quickly over the blades and kneeled at his side.

 

“My Lord!”

 

“(Y/n)… are you alright?”

 

“Me?! You are wounded, My King! What happened?!”

 

“The beast…” he took a heavy breath. “But you are well?”

 

The fool! He was bleeding out and he was worried about your welfare?!

 

“Yes, Your Worship. I am”

 

“That’s good. That’s very good.” He coughed harshly, and you saw red spurting out.

 

 

“Soldiers!” You barked as you saw healers streaming forward.

 

“Yes ma’am?”

 

“Clear these blades out now. Quickly!!”

 

“Yes ma’am!” They scurried about, clearing the debris as best they could.

 

“Get in here!” You bellowed as the men and women approached.

 

“(Y/n)…” Loki breathed, but you weren’t listening.

 

“You there, check his pulse! Bring those herbs here! And for the love of God, where are the sheets?! Your King needs to be moved to safety, immediately!!”

 

“I never knew you to be so medically proficient, my dear-“ Loki was interrupted by another hacking fit.

 

“Save your breath, my Lord.” This wasn’t looking good. This was bad. He was supposed to be a God? He was practically destroyed in this fight!!

 

“More bandages! Don’t worry about the ointment, we need more pressure on the wounds to stop the bleeding!” You were furious with their incompetence. “Loki, what of your regeneration?!”

 

“It’s been depleted, (y/n).” He didn’t notice your commanding tone. “My magic… it needs time to heal.” He winced as one of the healers tightened a bandage around his leg.

 

You cursed. You were just having a little fun! Now this was a fucking mess. You expected him to be stronger than this! You-

 

“(Y/n).” Loki spoke urgently. “Get out of here.”

 

“What?!”

 

“It’s… not safe.” He grimaced as a few men and woman began suturing his wounds.

 

“Men! Is everything prepared to bring him in?!”

 

“Yes, Your Highness.”

 

“Then get your asses over here and start lifting him!” Your Midguardian vulgarity was slipping out.

 

“(Y/n).” Despite his ragged voice, Loki spoke sharply. “Get back inside.”  


“The hell I will!” Your front was slipping as you continued ordering the healers.

 

“(Y/n)!” The tone of his voice startled you. “The beast is still roaming about. I cannot have you outside these walls.” “Soldier!”

 

“Yes, My King.”

 

“Escort your Queen back to the castle.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

You brushed the boy off roughly as you strode forward, following the men and women who were carrying Loki to the healer’s ward.

 

“(Y/n)! Leave me!” The authority in his voice struck fear in even the healer’s hearts.

 

You weren’t shaken.

 

 

Then you heard it. Thor. That dumb son of a bitch. He was back. He just could not quit. You growled ferociously.

 

 

“Guards! Take her. Now!” Four or five men rushed up to you, grabbing your arms and hauling you backwards.

That set you off.

 

You shoved the first two men to the side as the other three clamped their hands down further. You spun around, kicking two of them in the knees, making them buckle towards the ground. The other men who were bravely holding on were pushed back with a force so hard they travelled several feet.

 

Everyone’s eyes were gaping at you.

 

Ignoring them, you pelted forward to your Prince. “Loki.” Your voice was firm.

 

“(Y/n)…” he could barely get your name out.

 

“Look at me.” You put your hands around his face now, steadily.. “Now, focus.”

 

“(Y/n)-“

 

“Shh.” You cut him off solidly, locking your eyes with his. “Concentrate.”

 

“Ma’am-“ whoever spoke behind you flew into the fields.

 

“Listen. Listen to me.” His eyes began to haze, looking lost. “That’s right. I’ve got you.”

 

Loki’s eyes were clouded now. In his blurred vision, he strained to find you. But all he could see were shapes, fading into a bright, white light.

 

“Good. Very good.” Your voice was softer now, coaxing him. “Just relax. Rest now, my Lord.”

 

Your voice was far away, like an Angel’s whisper. The people around you, the woods, everything was shimmering now, in and out.

 

 

You had been a fool.

 

Now you had to fix this.

 

 

“I’m sorry, Loki.”

 

You heard him call your name; but there was no more sound.

 

“I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

 

He was confused, lost. It broke your heart.

 

“I’m so sorry.”

 

Unconsciousness was beginning to overtake him.

 

“I’ll make it up to you someday, My King.”

 

The light was drawing him in, warm, forgiving.

 

 

“I love you, Loki Laufeyson. My God of Lies.”

 

 

 

 

“Thor. Thor. Thor.”

 

“What is it?!”

 

“Well now you act like you haven’t been calling me for the last- I’ve lost count.”

 

“It’s not like I can help it, now can I?”

 

“Debatable.”

 

“Well now you’re here. What do you want.”

 

“I think I killed your brother.”

 

 

“You what?!”

 

 

“Not my fault. He wanted a fight. I gave it to him.”

 

“By the Gods you did not actually attempt to take him on?”

 

“Well…”

 

“Where is he now?!”

 

“He’s fine.”

 

“What were you thinking?!”

 

“Hey, I’m just the messenger. You were so concerned about his well-being after all.”

 

“And yours. Which by the way, you also put in danger!”

 

“What was that line again?”

 

“Don’t give me that “taking care” bullshit!”

 

“Sheesh testy! You act as if you are the one laying on the grass among ice shards in a crumpled mess.”

 

“I swear to the Allfather-“

 

“Hey. Leave Odin out of this. Besides, he’s alright.”

 

“In what realm is laying on shards alright?!”

 

“Well he’s not anymore. I fixed him up real nice.”

 

Thor was at a loss of words. This was probably the one time he wanted to pummel you more than you did him.

 

“Anyway, I just thought I’d let you know. Your unhealthy interest and all.”

 

“You are the last one on Earth who should be calling me unhealthy.”

 

“Well I am on Asguard, so let’s call this one a tie.”

 

“Are you mad?!”

 

“I’ve forgiven him already.”

 

“Insane!”

 

“Unlikely.” You took a breath. You were making this harder on yourself. “Anyway, since it’s of your utmost interest-“

 

“What is the matter with you?!”

 

“I’ll be leaving.”

 

A sharp intake of breath. “What?!”

 

“As I said; you showed such concern for the happenings of Loki and I, I decided to let you in on this new turn of events.”

 

A pause.

 

“You can’t be serious!”

 

“I assure you, I am.”

 

“You just returned! How can you leave?!”

 

“Well let’s see; I pack my things, which I have none. So that part is pretty easy-“

 

“You are insufferable!”

 

“And yet here you are, suffering.”

 

He drew a deep breath, trying in vain to compose himself. “You’re telling me in the span of one day-“

 

“A bit more than that, I think”

 

He raised his voice. “In the span of one day, you appear to me out of the blue, and my brother, whom you then proceeded to marry, after he had surely taken his anger out on you- don’t interrupt me!”

 

You held your tongue. “Which prompted me to return to the land which had forsaken me, for the sole purpose of seeing if you were alright, and now you have not only decided to waltz off, you have left my brother in God knows what state!”

 

“I do know, incidentally.”

 

“You’re a pox upon us all!”

 

“I prefer boils, personally.”

 

He was shaking now. “I rue the day we met you the scum of the earth!”

 

 

Even he heard how harsh that was, as soon as it left his mouth.

 

 

“Oh Thor. Ever the rash. Just like your brother.”

 

He was silent now.

 

“It is all for the best, though. Now that you’ve brought up the sensitive subject it will be easier for me to address it.”

 

“(Y/n)…”

 

“Not to worry Thor. I understand the situation perfectly.”

 

He didn’t know what to say anymore.

 

“As you’ve stated, my sudden reappearance has definitely taken its toll.”

 

“That’s not-“

 

“No, Thor. Let me finish. Please.” Your voice was gentler now.

 

“Obviously, I have severely miscalculated the consequences of my return.” Your voice was filled with regret. “For that I am insurmountably sorry.”

 

“I-“

 

You spoke over him. “I have caused no small amount of difficulties, all stemming from my selfish desire to… my inability to let go.”'

 

“I was wrong to blame you, Thor. Not when I myself could not do what I asked of you.”

 

“You were right. I am not meant for sentimentalities, for clinging to what has been. Or who.”

 

“(Y/n)-“ 

 

“Almost finished, dear.” The word almost caught in your throat. “You had me to a “t.” I do not dwell. I do not linger. And I definitely do not ingratiate myself with enduring where I’m not welcome.”

 

“…”

 

“No, I misrepresent myself. Where I do not belong. I shouldn’t have come back.”

 

“(Y/n).”

 

 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered it. You wished you didn’t have to. But you did.

 

 

“You did nothing wrong.”

 

“That is what I love about you, Thor.” You were in his eyes now, your head bowed in shame. “The ability to see good in all of us. Even if it’s not there.”

 

“It is there.” The significance in his voice shook you to your core.

 

“Perhaps. But not in this homecoming.”

 

“Yes. In this homecoming.” An urgency crept into his voice. “You returned to my brother’s side. Even I can see what that means to him.”

“And now he’s lying on the cold hard ground.”

 

“You healed him, did you not?” He knew you.

 

“It will be as if it never happened.” The words weighed on you like stones, taking you to the deep.

 

 

 

“There. So no harm, no foul.”

 

“If only it were that easy.”

 

“It is that easy.” He was looking at you earnestly now. “He’ll have forgiven you soon enough.”

 

“You don’t know your brother so well.”

 

“I know how he feels about you.” You closed your eyes.

 

“And you?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“How do you feel?”

 

He paused.

 

“About my return?” You decided to make it easy on him. Or, easier, at any rate.

 

“It is a fortuitous day to see an old friend again.”

 

“I wouldn’t say today went so well.”

 

“It could have been better.” He conceded. You smiled dryly. “But tomorrow is another day, is it not?”

 

“Indeed.” He was right.

 

A moment of silence passed between to you. He looked at you for a long time before speaking.

 

 

“It was good to see you, (y/n).”

 

Your smile cracked. “After everything, you cannot possibly mean that Thor.”

 

“But I do.”

 

You took in a shaky breath, readying yourself. “Thor…”

 

“What is it?”

 

“I have to go.”

 

“Right.” He nodded. “To tend to my brother.”

 

“Yes, for Loki.” Your eyes narrowed in your misery. “And for you.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yes. You.” You looked up then, looking into his eyes, marking this down, for another time. He held your gaze, on the cusp of recognizing something, but not quite reaching it.

 

 

It was now or never.

 

 

“Before I go…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Thor?”

 

“Yes (y/n)?” You would have to remember that. How it sounded.

 

“That day I came to see you… the last time we met, in the cell.”

 

“…”

 

“Would you have kissed me? If I had not left?”

 

He was thinking now, thinking back. Remembering. The grime streaked across your face, the filth all around him. Him and you.

 

“I still think about that, you know? But now, I don’t think we’ll ever know.”

 

“I…” he couldn’t finish the sentence. Or his answer. And for once, you didn’t know the answer.

 

“Do you know what?”

 

“What is it, (y/n)”

 

He was glimmering now, like gold. The God of Thunder.

 

“I wish I would have kissed you.”

 

The sounds of your breaths filled the silence.

 

 

You gathered yourself up now, getting ready to leave. “Once again, Thor. I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologize, (y/n).”

 

“One last time. And no more.”

 

He smiled ruefully at you.

 

“I have to ask you for that favor now, Thor.”

 

“I thought you didn’t take favors, (y/n).”

 

“You are absolutely right.”

 

“I suppose I shall acquiesce.” He grinned. “What shall it be, Your Highness?”

 

“Please, Thor.”

 

“Goddess then. Goddess (y/n).”

 

You shook your head wistfully. “Don’t fight it.”

 

“Don’t fight what?” He cocked his head at you.

 

“This.” And the light was growing again, and you were shimmering in front of him.

 

He was shimmering in front of you too. But you blinked your eyes rapidly to try and stop it.

 

“It’s for the best. For the both of you.”

 

“What’s for the best?” He was confused now, and slightly alarmed. He could feel the power radiating from you.

 

“You and Jane. And Loki. Your lives. They are as they should be. Without me.”

 

His eyes widened as you started disappearing, slowly.

 

“(Y/n)! Don’t do this!!”

 

You hated yourself for holding on longer. But you didn’t want to lose him. To lose them.

 

You didn’t want to let go.

 

 

“Don’t fight. That’s what I ask of you.”

 

“(Y/n)!” He was shouting now, reaching towards you. But you were growing farther and farther away.

 

“Don’t remember me.”

 

“(Y/n)!!” You shrank from his voice, and his sight, almost gone. But not quite yet.

 

“Please!” He was breaking out now, his sound distorting from you.

 

You never cried. But here you were, tears streaming down your face like the curtains had been pulled back and the truth was pouring in. There was no stopping it out.

 

 

“It was good seeing you too, Thor.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAHHHHH *bursts into tears*
> 
> and thor's not even my favorite
> 
> *sniff* leave me some love if you liked! *hands tissue*
> 
> random ramblings:
> 
> once again i spent a long time on the choreography. i hope it was exciting and made pictures in your head! ;)
> 
> the wordplay in here. is awesome.
> 
> kudos if you found the quote(s) i snuck in there. let me know down below which ones you found.
> 
> quick poll: which leaving of lovely hurt you more? (according to the story not just your personal preference STEVE)
> 
> which did you prefer; the banter or the action? (no, not that kind of action Tony!)
> 
> Loki beats lovely up. Thor yells at lovely. Lovely has a tough day. In their defense, they couldn't really help it. and in her defense... well, yeah. 
> 
> quick poll 3: did this make you laugh/excite or cry? or both?
> 
> hope you enjoyed lovelies! i'm so glad to be back again!


	8. She-Wolf 8- Where I show My true colors :OOO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mindfuckmindfuckmindfuck!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feelsEXCITEMENTfeelsSADNESS
> 
> FEELS FOR EVERYONE

“You look like you’ve slept well.”

 

“Yes, my love. Better than I have in a while.”

 

“I could tell by your snoring.”

 

“Jane, my dear, we have been together for how long now? Shouldn’t you be used to my snores by now?”

 

“Thor, there is no way I’ll ever get used to that.”

 

“Now, where is my coffee? And my Pop-Tarts?”

 

“You can get the Pop-Tarts in the tower. I am not buying them for another month.”

 

“But why are the Pop-Tarts gone?!”

 

“If it were up to me I would never see another toaster pastry ever again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hey, Clint.”

 

“AUGH!!!” The handsome archer jumped about fifteen feet in the air, which was quite a feat.

 

“Sorry for scaring you.”

 

“Jesus Christ!” He turned and stared at you.

 

“Well, it’s good to see you too.”

 

His mouth opened and closed a couple times. Finally he spoke. “…(Y/n)?!”

 

“Yes, that is indeed my name.”

 

“What are you doing here?!”

 

“Visiting?”

 

“What? Wh-how- Loki let you out?!”

 

“Since when did I need permission? For anything?” He grinned then, relaxing. “You missed me didn’t you.”

 

“Quite.” You let him put his arm around you.

 

“I have to say, (y/n), I’m surprised.” He smiled mischievously. “I assumed you would be tornadoing into the common room like Thor always does.”

 

“Ah, but I’m not Thor, am I?”

 

“Still, my bedroom?” He teased. “Not that I mind or anything. But what would the King of Asguard think?”

 

“About that…” you drifted off and left it at that.

 

“Oh, don’t tell me. All is not well in the land of honey and frost giants?” You rolled your eyes. This guy…

 

“Well, let’s go see the others.”

 

“Wait.” You put a hand on his arm, stopping him.

 

“What?” He wiggled his eyebrows obnoxiously. “Need some time alone with me?”

 

“Don’t start with me.” Your eyes belied your amusement. “I need your help.”

 

“Ah. What can I do for you, Your Highness?”

 

“Thor doesn’t know.”

 

“That you’re here? Well that’s probably because you landed here, sweetums.”

 

“He doesn’t know me.”

 

“Well you tend to be quite the enigma, (y/n).”

 

You sighed. “He’s forgotten. I made him forget.”

 

“What do you mean you’ve made him forget.” He quirked his eyes at you.

 

“He doesn’t remember who I am anymore.”

 

“…”

 

“You realize he saw you like, yesterday, right?!”

 

“Not to him, he didn’t.”

 

“…What exactly happened?!”

 

“Long story short, I erased his memory.”

“You did WHAT?!”

 

“Not so loud, the others will hear.”

 

“I should hope so. (Y/n)!” He was frowning at you. “You shouldn’t be messing with his head like that.”

 

“I didn’t really have a choice.”

 

“And how is that?”

 

“I… screwed up.”

 

“Yes you did. You erased your friend’s memory!!”

 

“Just his memories of me. Don’t worry, the gaps have been filled in slightly.”

 

He put his hands on your shoulder now, firmly. “(Y/n), stop speaking in riddles! Now I need you to explain what is going on, right now.”

 

“I’m doing the best I can.” You sighed.

 

“Start from the beginning.”

 

“Many centuries ago-“

 

“The beginning of the story that relates to you brainwashing Thor!”

 

“That, in and of itself, also stretches some time.”

 

“Okay fine. Give me the bullet points.”

 

“I’m not trying to hurt you, Clint.”

 

“The basics! The short version.”

 

“Well-“

 

“Really, really short.” Oh, honestly.

 

“I loved Thor, Loki loved me. Then Thor loved me, or maybe he didn’t but I think he did now, and I loved Loki. Finally, I loved both of them and ruined their lives so now I’ve left and erased their memory.”

 

“Woah, okay. Back up.”

 

“You said the short version!”

 

“Not that short!”

 

You rubbed your temples. “Look Clint. Let me try to make it clearer.”

 

“You do that.”

 

“You were surprised to see me today, why.”

 

“Beautiful women normally don’t usually appear out of thin air in my bedroom.” That cheeky bastard.

 

“Charming, but wrong answer. Try again.”

 

“I just saw you yesterday.”

 

“Two people can’t see each other two days in a row?”

 

“But we never see each other, (y/n).”

 

“Exactly.” You looked hard at him. “That’s the way it’s supposed to be. I live my life on the run.”

 

“On the prowl, you mean?”

 

“Whichever you’d like to call it. Either way, there are no stops along the way, only pauses. And I never turn back.”

 

“You’ve always struck me as more of a one-night-stand.”

 

“Are you calling me a harlot?”

 

“Never.” You grinned at each other.

 

“So… what does this have to do with you erasing Thor’s memories?”

 

“Well, actually it’s not going to be just Thor’s.”

 

“Okay. Stop right there. Don’t even think about it.”

 

“Relax. Yours will remain perfectly in tact.”

 

“That’s comforting. But just how many minds are you going to try to alter?”

 

“Well… that’s a complicated question.”

 

“How?!”

 

“…I’m going, Clint.”

 

“Not without answering me!”

 

“I mean, I’m going. You won’t be seeing me again.”

 

“Okay we’ll get to sad goodbyes in a minute. Let’s back up to you taking people’s memories from them.”

 

“It’s complicated, Barton.”

 

“Yeah, no shit! How much magic does that take anyway?”

 

“A lot.”

 

“Wait.” He narrowed his eyes. “And you’re capable of it…?”

 

“Well, yes.”

 

“Oh Lord.” Clint sat down hard on the bed. “We should’ve locked you up instead of Loki.”

 

You threw your head back with a laugh. “You have no idea.”

 

He patted the spot next to him. “Sit down. You’re scaring me.”

 

“And I don’t even have my fangs out.” You settled next to him.

 

“Obviously, you’re overreacting.”

 

“I assure you I am not.”

 

“You’re planning to wipe people’s minds.”

 

“For good reason.”

 

“There’s no reason good enough.”

 

“Mass murder?”

 

“Have you committed one?” The question was sardonic, but he raised an eyebrow anyway.

 

“Good gracious, no.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“You know, Clint, you’re giving me a lot of trouble for someone who could have his memories altered in a few seconds.”

 

“And yet you’re sitting here next to me, so you ain’t fooling anyone.”

 

You smiled wryly. “You’re an Avenger, to be sure.”

 

“That’s right. Now, first of all, why did you mess with Thor’s head?”

 

You decided it’s complicated would not suffice. “He’s not been able to stop thinking about me.”

 

“Ego much?”

 

“I’m serious, Barton.” You locked his gaze. “Its disrupting his sleep. His life. You saw what happened yesterday!”

 

“Okay, I’ll admit. That was out of line. But hardly brainwash-worthy!”

 

“It’s putting everything in jeopardy-“

 

“The world’s not gonna end over a crush, sweetie.”

 

“Oh if only you knew.” You remarked dryly. “He stormed Asguard yesterday, and that was just the beginning.”

 

“And, nothing happened!”

 

“Because I made sure of it. I’m the one who sent him back! It wasn’t Mjolnir.”

 

“Oh.” He processed this for a moment. “But you handled it. And it was easy for you!”

 

“I wouldn’t say that-“

 

“Come on, (y/n)! You set up an illusion for the freaking God of Lies! Don’t tell me giving us a ride back was trouble.”

 

“It would be if it happened again. And again.”

 

“So it was one time! Big deal.”

 

“Yes, very big deal. Loki got himself into quite a mess yesterday.”

 

“What about?”

 

“What do you think, Barton?!”

 

“Easy, Bessie. Okay so the brothers are a little nuts over you. I don’t blame them.” A smile slipped out of you, despite your efforts. “But hey, most girls would die to be in your position. Two demi-Gods lusting over you?!”

 

“Most girls would die, Clint.”

 

“Well you’re not most girls, are you?”

 

“No, indeed. I’m not.” You shook your head. “That’s why I’m here.”

 

“To make everyone forget about you, literally. Because you’re special.”

 

“Because I’m wrong!”

 

“Everyone makes mistakes.” You resisted the urge to throttle him.

 

“And not everyone has a chance to correct them. I do.”

 

“Correcting means making amends. Not altering history!!”

 

“It’s only altering the perception of history.” You grasped both of his hands tightly now. “I have to do this. Too much has gone wrong.”

 

“More wrong than Thor being banished here? Than Loki starting a civil war? And taking over New York?!”

 

“You don’t know the half of it.”

 

“I know that no one has died, or been seriously injured.”

 

“Loki was.”

 

“Seriously injured beyond repair!”

 

“Debatable.”

 

“Stop being so stubborn!”

 

“I have to be!” You took a deep breath. “To set things right.”

 

 

Clint shook his head to clear his mind, and honestly in rejection of all this craziness.

 

 

“Things were good without me.”

 

Clint opened his mouth and you barreled on. “They were, Clint. Simpler. Easier.”

 

“Even if that were true, you’ve been around for decades right? So by your logic, the last century has sucked, and yet you’re acting now? After the events of 24 hours?”

 

“What is it with you Midguardians and the need to define a day? It’s not even completely accurate!”

 

“Hey, you’re the one wreaking havoc over two little boys.”

 

“Well… you know me.”

 

“I do.” It was his turn to smile sadly. “Ride it out, (y/n). It will get better, I promise.”

 

“I know.” You closed your eyes in regret. “It will.”

 

“Without your meddling.”

 

“Agree to disagree.” Those were Thor’s words, not yours.

 

“Please, (y/n).” He squeezed your hands and looked into your eyes, searching. “Don’t make this more than it is.”

 

“I am not.”

 

“You’re erasing countless memories so things will be easier? On you?! How selfish is that?!”

 

“I know, Clint. I am selfish.”

 

“The thing is, you’re not. Stop playing the martyr, the bad guy! You’re not either!” He was gripping your hands tightly know, his knuckles white.

 

“Then what am I?”

 

“You’re… you.” He sighed. “You.”

 

“And as me, I have to do this.”

 

“You don’t.” He was sure. He knew.

 

Inevitability. It was different, between different people.

 

But you had a hand on it. You lived it. You were it.

 

“You came for my help, (y/n).”

 

“Yes, I did.” You nodded slowly. “Will you still help me?”

 

“Of course.” He brushed the hair from your face, before putting his hands on your shoulders. “What do you need?”

 

“I need…” You forced the unwilling words out. “I need you to remember.”

 

“To remember what?”

 

“This.” You were shaking. “Me.”

 

“Why would I for- NO.” He stood up, towering over you. “You can’t do this, (y/n). You can’t!”

 

“If you could see what I see-“

 

“I see what you don’t see, (y/n)! The things that are happening, the way things are, this is life! You can’t run from it! And you don’t get to change it, just because you don’t like it! That’s- not fair! That’s not right!”

 

“But I am a runner, Clint. I’ve always run.”

 

“And now you need to stop!” He shook you roughly, bent over you. “You need to stop this, (Y/n)!”

 

“I am, Clint. That’s what I am doing.”

 

“No you’re not!” His eyes were flaming with fury. “You’re being an immature, selfish little girl!”

 

“Be that may.”

 

“You can’t bend reality to it’s will, (y/n)! It will come back to haunt you!”

 

 

“It already does.” It was as if all the fight had left you. You were convinced. Surrendered.

 

 

“Life’s always going to suck (y/n).” His voice was angry, but you saw the conflict in his eyes. He wanted to change you, but he couldn’t. He was powerless, as you were, but he wouldn’t give up.

 

You loved that about him.

 

“You don’t get to pick and choose. It’s take it or leave it.”

 

“And I’m leaving Clint.”

 

“Don’t…” It wasn’t a command anymore. It wasn’t a plea. It was his heart, reaching for yours. Honestly, truly.

 

 

You chuckled dryly. “I’m going to miss you Clint.”

 

His chest heaved, but his eyes were level with yours. “You’re going to miss all of us.”

 

“I know. And I will bear it. As I must.”

 

“Don’t act like you’re not bringing this on yourself.”

 

“That’s the thing; I am bringing this on. You’re right. ” He knew better than to take your admission as a change of mind. “You can’t choose what happens in life.”

 

“And you can’t change who you love. Or who loves you.”

 

“(Y/n)…”

 

“Thor and Jane. Loki and his kingdom. Those are the loves that should be.”

 

“And you?”

 

“I can’t love, Clint.”

 

“You don’t choose, (y/n). You said that yourself.”

 

“Then I can’t let myself love. So let me be selfish in saving them from my selfish love.”

 

“You play the victim and the villain both so well, (y/n).”

 

“Thank you Clint.”

 

“That was not a compliment.”

 

“But it is the truth.” You stepped back now, widening the gap between you. “And that’s the best thing you can give, isn’t it. To the Goddess of Lies.”

 

“You are no God, (y/n).”

 

“That’s what I thought, Clint. Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re wrong. But it doesn’t matter. Soon, it won’t exist to anyone, other than you. That is of course, if you’ve changed your mind.”

 

“Have you?”

 

“I have not.”

 

“You’re asking if I want to have my mind messed like the rest of my friends. Our friends?!”

 

“I’m asking if you are willing to bear the burden. Of remembering.”

 

“Do I have a choice?”

 

“You can be as your friends; free.”

 

“That’s rich. Free because you’re forcing us to forget.”

 

“It’s up to you. But know this; the price of knowledge, of knowing, is great.”

 

“Then enlighten me, Your Majesty.”

 

“You realize once I’m done, I won’t be Your Majesty, Your Highness, Your Lady, or anything. I won’t be anyone at all.”

 

“You’re planning to kill yourself?!”

 

“I’ll be dead to all of you.”

 

“Remind me why you’re doing this again?!”

 

 

Oh Clint. I’m going to miss you too.

 

 

“I wish I could explain to you.”

 

“Can’t you at least try?!”

 

“I have!” You breathed sharply. “All I can do now, is show you. If you’re willing. Are you?”

 

“I don’t see why not. What was the price of knowing, again?”

 

“Loneliness.” The word was so, so cold. “Loneliness, my dear.”

 

“And you’re choosing this.”

 

“If you agree, then you will be too.”

 

“I know you, (y/n).”

 

“You do.”

 

“You don’t want to do this.”

 

“I don’t.”

 

You stared at each other in silence.

 

“But you’re going to.”

 

“I am.”

 

 

“So do it.” His voice was emotionless, but you knew him too. He backed away from you increasing the space from him to you. His hands were raised in defeat, in acceptance.

 

This is inevitability my friend. This is my life.

 

 

“One last thing.”

 

“What is it, Clint?”

 

“Why me?”

 

“Why not?”

 

“You could have picked anyone else. Loki, Thor…”

 

“They’ve already forgotten. And you should know why not.”

 

“Out of the rest of us then.”

 

He looked at you, waiting. You looked back at him, expecting.

 

“We’re the closest out of them all. You know that, don’t you.”

 

He laughed gruffly. “How?”

 

“You tell me.” You were both smiling bitterly now. He nodded, understanding. You knew he would.

 

The light enveloped the building again, but this time, this man whom you loved was right in front of you, clear as day. Clear as the day you met.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you doing in the air?”

 

“Huh?!” A handsome man nearly crashed onto you.

 

“My my, for an archer I expected more sense of balance. And awareness of surroundings.”

 

“Well, you know. I have a weakness for pretty ladies.”

 

You laughed, your eyes crinkling. You extended your hand. “(Y/n).”

 

“Clint. Clint Barton, at your service.” You laughed as he withdrew his hand and smiled at you. “You a friend of Loki’s?”

 

“You could say that.”

 

“Whew! Good luck.” He shook his head, making you laugh again. “Should I be scared of you?”

 

“Only if you have something to hide.” You had winked, and he had thrown his head back.

 

“So tell me, what’s a beautiful thing like you doing with Reindeer Games.”

 

“Ahh, I’d heard about the Midguardian nicknames you gave him.”

 

“You’re from Asguard?”

 

“So you’ve met (y/n).” Thor called from below.

 

“Where’ve you been hiding her, Thor?”

 

The earth practically rumbled with him. “It is not I who lays claim over her, Brother Barton.”

 

“So your bro then?”

 

“I pity any man, or any being rather, who attempts to lay claim over that wildcat.”

 

“You have me there, Thor.” He had chuckled there, and waved the two of you off.

 

 

“So tell me, Master Barton.”

 

“Please, just Clint.”

 

“Just Clint, then. Do you often spend time perched in secretive places such as this?”

 

“They don’t call me Hawkeye for nothing.”

 

“Indeed, we have heard of you in our realm as well.”

 

“Oh really?” He cocked his head at you. “What do they say, exactly?”

 

“That you are able to knock the Prince from mid-flight.”

 

He smirked. “That is true. What else?”

 

You pursed your lips. “I suppose there was something involving you and the Black Widow-“

 

“Woah woah woah,” Clint had raised his hands to stop you. “Now those? Those are completely false. Unfounded rumors.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“It is.”

 

“Then may I ask you, Master Barton, why your cheeks are such a lovely shade of crimson?”

 

He blushed before looking into your eyes. “You tell me.” You had tilted your chin so you were looking up at him.

 

“Show me something, Clint.”

 

“Anything.”

 

“Let me see if you truly are a Hawkeye.” With that, you conjured a dove, which fluttered around your shoulders.

 

His eyes lit up. “So you’re a sorceress then?”

 

“Indeed. But keep this a secret from Prince Loki. He thinks me a mere maiden.”

 

“And Thor?”

 

“Oh, Thor knows. He’s not as much a fool as his brother makes him out to be.”

 

“Hah. In that case, what happens if I do end up slipping, around your Prince.”

 

You shook your head, still smiling. “Here. Show me.” The dove alighted on your hand, and you breathed air onto it, before it took off. You watched it flap beautifully against the sky away from you. You leaned back, accidentally brushing against Clint’s shoulder. You shifted, but neither of you were sorry.

 

“Now, Master Barton. On your mark.”

 

“You ask too little of me.”

 

You were thrilled; he was even better than you expected. “Very well. Whenever you’re ready. As far as it flies before you miss.”

 

He smirked and rested with his back against you. “Turn around. I can’t see you,” you pouted.

 

He turned, letting his arm settle right behind your shoulders, almost but not quite touching. A gentleman too, hmm? This was most interesting.

 

“Alright, let’s see.” He drew a small contraption, before shaking it firmly.

 

“What a beautiful bow!”

 

“It is, isn’t it.” He drew an arrow from his quiver, and leaned forward slightly. You could almost feel his breath on your ear. You shivered on impulse. You watched his face as his eyes searched the skies expertly. His eyes narrowed in focus as he slowly pulled his arm back. You could see the muscles, taut against his skin. You averted your eyes quickly as a warmth spread to your cheeks.

 

Luckily he didn’t notice; he had his eyes on his prey now. You could barely make out the bird.

 

Phew!

 

 

An arrow whizzed by you, hitting the air like lightning. You watched as it soared gracefully through the sky, before a cry rang out. In the distance, you could see a shape tumbling towards the earth. You met his gaze.

 

“It seems the rumors are true. I’m impressed, Master Barton.”

 

He shrugged cockily, but you could tell he enjoyed the compliment.

 

“It’s a pity though. It was a beautiful bird.”

 

“It was.”

 

“Do you hunt, Master Barton?”

 

“Please, Miss (Y/n), just Clint.”

 

“If you insist. Just (Y/n) as well then.”

 

“Alright (y/n).” His smile was contagious. “I only hunt bad guys.”

 

You burst out in laughter as his eyes crinkled. He was so charming.

 

“Now (y/n), it’s your turn.”

 

“My turn?” You looked up at his beautiful blue eyes.

 

“Yup. Show me what you got!”

 

“I made the bird, did I not?”

 

“Come on.” He nudged you. “I’m sure you can do better than that.”

 

“So, two birds then?” He looked at you knowingly.

 

“The way Thor spoke about you leads me to believe you’re tougher than you look.”

 

“Oh? And how do I look?”

 

He leaned in towards you, and you held your breath. “Like a Goddess.”

 

The corners of your lips continued to curve upward; you were smiling so hard you thought you would faint.

 

He began closing the gap between you slowly, until your foreheads were pressed against each other. His lips a breath away from yours.

 

Oh, how you wanted him to kiss you.

 

 

You exhaled slowly, softly; a swirl of flames burst from your lips.

 

“Augh!” The Hawk leapt backwards, before catching his footing again.

 

A thunderous sound came from below. “What did I tell you, Brother Barton?!”

 

He gasped, pressing his hand to his mouth; he had not been burned.

 

“Fiesty! I like it!” A man in a striking suit and sunglasses waved. You looked at him curiously.

 

“Tony Stark! Billionaire playboy.”

 

“Ahh, the fabled Iron Man.” He grinned at the reference as his armour surrounded him. He was airborne, seconds later, face to face to you.

 

“Nice to meet you…”

 

“(Y/n).” You took his hand, or his armour, and shook it.

 

“Tweety here giving you a hard time?”

 

Clint growled, but you laughed lightly. “Not at all. He was just showing me his prowess in archery.”

 

“In that case, let me take you for a ride then, love.” With that he wrapped a metal-clad arm and leapt off.

 

“Hey!” You cried as you took off through the air.

 

“What’s the matter baby? Scared?” He teased smugly.

 

“Put me down this instance!” You had not expected that much impudence.

 

“If you insist,” he remarked, before releasing you.

 

“Eee!!” You screamed, as he swirled around you. You made a quick search to see if Loki was in sight. He was not.

 

You accelerated your fall as you heard Master Stark’s motors buzzing. “Omigod! How is she falling so fast?!” His voice rose uncontrollably as he panicked. “Thor!!!”

 

 

In your mind’s eye you saw Clint pulling out several arrows; a gentleman and a savior? Impressive. And so attractive.

 

You looked over your shoulder at the terrified robot. You chuckled. He’d have learned his lesson.

 

All of a sudden you stopped, halfway through the air. A second later, arrows rushed by you, so you opened your fingers and they shattered on impact. Good aim, Hawk.

 

“Woahhh WHATT THEE FUCKKK,” Tony yelled as he tried valiantly to brake. He crashed upon the ground a moment later.

 

“Careful there, Master Stark. Mustn’t mess up the landing.” And with a laugh, you disappeared.

 

“What the- BITCH!!”

 

Thor landed with a boom a second later. “I did warn you, Brother Stark.”

 

“Shut up!”

 

 

Clint was settled back in his vantage point, amused. Extraordinary.

 

“So how was that, Master Barton?”

 

He twitched at your sudden appearance, but refrained from jumping. “Not bad.”

 

“You are too kind.”

 

He grinned back, cheeky as ever. “Those were some of my best arrows, though.”

 

“My apologies, sir. A very remarkable rescue it would have been.”

 

“Seems like the damsel in distress didn’t need a prince in shining armour after all.”

 

“It seems the damsel in shining armour is in distress now.” He chuckled appreciatively.

 

“Those were very sturdy arrows. They would have broken my fall would they not?”

 

“Yes. Although there would have been no sure way to cushion the collision completely. They were designed to latch on to the nearest surface, with enough leeway to avoid a fatal blow, but whichever building that caught your fall would still have done a number on you.”

 

“Fascinating.” You sat down next to Clint and opened your palms, showing him the fragments. “The Prince doesn’t give nearly enough credit to you Midguardians.”

 

“Speaking of Loki,” Clint brought up awkwardly. “Are he and you…”

 

“He is courting me, yes.” You hid your amusement behind your friendly face. “But I’m afraid it won’t be so easy for him to woo me.”

 

“You’re an exceptional one, to be sure.”

 

You looked down in spite of yourself. “You flatter me, Master Barton.”

 

“I am completely serious, Miss (Y/n).” His playful tone made you look up at him again.

 

“Here, let me give you something.” He raised an eyebrow at you. “Close your eyes.”

 

“You’re not going to breathe fire on me again, are you?” Your laugh rang out. “No promises.”

 

He cringed dramatically before closing his eyes obediently.

 

You reached for his hands, which were rough from many battles. You opened his palm slowly, feeling the calluses along his fingers. His touch was electric; thank heavens Loki wasn’t present. He would be positively foaming at the mouth now. You longed to keep going, but you let them go, before a warm glow covered them. His eyes flew open.

 

“I didn’t say to open your eyes yet!” You complained jokingly as he looked at his hands in wonder.

 

“You fixed them!”

 

“Not fix. Improved!” You looked into his eyes excitedly.

 

“Really?” He was both amused and interested. In more ways than one.

 

“Yes! Well, they’re not perfect.” You frowned slightly. “I’m afraid enchanting them too much would create unintended consequences.”

 

“How so?”

 

“Well, see, if they stopped the subject in midair, there might be effects in Midguard that wouldn’t happen on Asguard.”

 

“Ah yes, Newton’s laws and all.”

 

“Who is Newton?”

 

“Nevermind.” He grinned. “So what did you change?”

 

“Well instead of leeway, which I believe would not prevent the target from damage due to uh… inertia was it?”

 

“Something like that.” You ducked your head at your lack of knowledge but he encouraged you. “Go on.”

 

“Well, these arrows will render the target… invulnerable in a sense. For a few seconds at least. So the brunt of the injury can be avoided.”

 

“Invulnerable?” Clint furrowed his brows. “Like... invincible?”

 

“I’m not quite sure the difference, Clint.”

 

He smiled at you warming up to him. “So even if the person crashes into a building, they won’t get hurt.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And that wouldn’t create any unintended consequences?”

 

“Hmm… well, lets try it out, shall we?” You grinned devilishly and he helped you up.

 

“Now, do you want to be the tester or the testee?”

 

“Uh, do I have a choice?”

 

“You’re right, it would probably be best if you were the subject, since you are the Midguardian.”

 

“So how exactly is this going to work?”

 

“Simple!” You brightened. “You fall, and we use these arrows to catch you.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Don’t worry.” You assured him. “It will work just fine.”

 

“And what if it doesn’t?!”

 

“It will, Master Barton. You have my word.”

 

“A fat lot of good your word will do when I’m splattered across a wall like a dead bug.”

 

You burst into giggles.

 

“How can you laugh at a time like this?!”

 

“You don’t trust me.”

 

“I don’t trust anyone!”

 

“That, my dear, Clint, is a lie.”

 

“Well, my dear, (y/n), prove me wrong.” You shared a grin. “I’ll be right next to you the whole way.”

 

“Okay- wait! If you’re next to me then who’s going to be testing the arrows?!”

 

“Oh for heaven’s sake,” you rolled your eyes good naturedly. “Have it your way. I’ll fall and then you catch me with the arrows. Is that better?”

 

“Well what if it works differently on you because you’re from Asguard?”

 

“Do you have a better idea?!”

 

“Yes. Yes, actually I do.” He looked at you with a serious expression. “We could just not do this.”

 

“You know, it’s rude to refuse a present in any realm.”

 

“It’s rude to kill your new friend in all realms.”

 

“So we’re friends?”

 

“Friends.”

 

“Then you trust me.”

 

“That has-“

 

“You trust me Clint. Or at the very least I trust you.” You beamed at him, elated. “So…

 

Catch Me!!”

 

 

With that, you leapt into the air, soaring a bit before letting yourself freefall. You would never tire of flying.

 

“(Y/n)!” Clint screamed.

 

“Use the arrows!” You called.

 

Frazzled and overwhelmed with anxiety, Clint drew his bow. His occupation suited him well, indeed.

 

As the arrows flew towards their mark, you grinned at their precision. You were going to have to apologize.

 

“I’m sorry Clint!”

 

“What- OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!”

 

You had switched places with him, and he was careening through the air now, arrows through his shirt and pants.

 

“JESUS FUCKING OMIGOD I’M GOING TO DIE FUCK FUCK FUCK!”

 

It was probably a bad idea to leave him there.

 

“Don’t worry, Clint! I’m here now!”

 

“AAUGH!!!”

 

And…. Boom!

 

Well it wasn’t really a boom. More like a wham! Or a… plop.

 

 

Clint was having trouble breathing. You hovered next to him with your hand on his back.

 

“Are you alright Master Barton?”

 

His face looked like it was turning blue. Oh no. You had not taken into account the Midguardian consciousness.

 

You placed your over him immediately, a light glowing softly over him.

 

“What are you doing?!”

 

Hmm it seemed he wasn’t in need of any healing. “So you’re alright then?”  


“I’m WHAT?!”

 

He was fine! He didn’t need any healing! You clapped your hands excitedly at the successful enchantment.

 

“Did you see? Did you see Master Barton?”

 

“See?!” He exploded. “I was here!! I almost died!!”

 

“No, no,” you encouraged him. “You did great!”

 

“I didn’t do anything! YOU PUSHED ME!”

 

“I did not,” you corrected him. “I merely switched positions with you. And when I saw you were in distress, I came right back to your side.”

 

“You, I, I CAN’T EVEN.”

 

“You are not hurt, Master Barton. I checked. Unless I missed something?!” You looked him over worriedly.

 

“YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH!!”

 

“Ah yes.” You lowered your eyes. “I’m terribly sorry about that. But you said so yourself that the arrows might work differently.”

 

“I DIDN’T MEAN TRY THEM ON ME?!”

 

“Well I figured if anyone were brave enough to tackle the challenge it would be you.”

 

“You-“ it was hard to yell at you when you were praising him. “You could have warned me!!”

 

“I-“ you kicked the air shyly. “I was afraid you’d say no.”

 

“Can you see why?!”

 

“Well, yes, now.” You lowered your eyes in shame. “I’m sorry, Master Barton. It was selfish of me. I wanted to give you a good present, and I wanted to prove to you it worked!” You looked towards your feet, and at the city below. “Would you… Would you forgive me?”

 

He was silent for a moment. You scratched your face nervously.

 

“On one condition.”

 

You perked up. “Really?! Oh my that would be so big of you. What is it Clint? I’ll do anything!”

 

He looked at you sternly. “Don’t ever breathe fire at me again.”

 

You held your breath; then you puffed your cheeks out. It did no good. You doubled over, clutching your stomach, and screamed in laughter.

 

“It’s not funny! Do you have any idea how scary it is to have fire blown at your face?”

 

“Scarier than almost dying?!” You quipped between hiccups.

 

“Well… yes!” You looked up at him incredulously, before leaning over again, guffawing. “I’m used to falling.”

 

You looked up with giggles still on your lips, to take a good look at him. “Would you like to come down now, Clint?”

 

“Yes that would be nice. And (y/n)?”

 

“Yes Clint?”

 

“Can we do it the normal way?”

 

“What do you mean, sir?”

 

“No more popping in and out of nowhere.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Good old fashioned air travel.”

 

“Ohh.” It dawned on you. “Yes, flying. Much more normal.”

 

“Yes. Now get flapping!” You tilted your hands to release the arrows and replace them in their quiver.

 

“Whoa-“ Clint stopped midsentence when he saw he was hovering. “Hey! This is pretty cool!”

 

“Indeed.” You motioned him back to the tower. “Shall we?”

 

“Yes. I’ll just.” He wiggled his feet back and forth, trying to decide what to do. “So, do you just walk in these?”

 

“Uhm… kind of? To be honest I never really thought about it. It just comes naturally.”

 

“For you, I’m sure.” He took a few tentative steps, before waving his hands to balance.

 

“I assure you, Master Barton, I will not let you fall.”

 

“Well hearing that is one thing, looking at the entire New York City underneath you is a different story.”

 

You whipped your head back to throw him a look, but you couldn’t help but smile at him waddling towards you precariously. You glided over to him and grabbed his hand.

 

“Come on. Lets go.” And the two of you took off through the air until you reached your hiding spot, as you thought of it now.

 

“Thanks, (y/n).”

 

Your eyes softened. “You’re welcome Clint.”

 

You looked at the sky. You would be leaving soon. Back with Loki and Thor to your home.

 

Something twisted in your stomach that you couldn’t quite recognize. It made you feel ill at ease.

 

“Everything okay, (y/n)?”

 

“Hmm? Yeah.” You ignored the pain rising to your chest and returned your attention to him. “Those arrows should hold up for a while.”

 

He smiled. “Thanks again.”

 

“Anything.” The word slipped out as easily as you breathed.

 

“Hey can I ask you a question?”

 

“Sure, Master Barton.”

 

“Why did you breathe fire at me?”

 

You threw your head back in laughter. “I mean if you didn’t want me to kiss you, you could have just moved away. Or even pushed me.”

 

You hadn’t wanted him to not kiss you though. But he didn’t need to know that.

 

“Well Clint, I guess you could say I’m full of surprises.”

 

“Evidently.” He looked at you closely now. Like he was memorizing your features. Saving them for another time. In case he didn’t see you for a while.

 

 

“Clint?”

 

“What’s up?”

 

“You know I wouldn’t really have burned you right?”

 

He grinned at you. “I don’t know, (y/n). Those flames were pretty damn close.”

 

“And to think, you trusted me to throw you into the air.”

 

“I’d like to point out that I did not say I trusted you with that, and that I wasn’t given a choice in the matter either.”

 

“Fair enough.” You sighed, settling back. It was almost time to go.

 

“How long are you staying, (y/n)?”

 

“I’ll be leaving today.”

 

His eyes widened. “So soon?!”

 

“Much to do I’m afraid. The Prince is quite the ambitious leader.”

 

“Can’t he give you any time off?”

 

You smiled regretfully at him now. There was no way you could answer that. “I have to go back with him.”

 

He nodded slowly. Understanding.

 

 

“But… before I go.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“How about that kiss?”

 

Clint chuckled. “You promised no more fire, right?”

 

“On my honor.” He looked at you then, considering. He was too good; he wouldn’t take a kiss from a pretty face so casually.

 

“One last thing.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“What’s your last name?”

 

That wasn’t so easy to answer. “It’s not Laufeyson.”

 

His laugh rang out and you captured the sound in your mind, savoring it. Saving it. He put his hands around you now, pulling you towards him with those strong arms.

 

He settled you into the crook of his arm, and gazed into your eyes.

 

You wanted to flinch, but instead, you looked right back. Not staring. Not glaring. Not challenging. Just looking. Looking into him. You wanted to see.

 

He lowered his head towards yours, pressing his forehead against yours once again. You could feel his soft hair brushing lightly against your face. His nose caressed your skin as you sighed softly. You couldn’t help it.

 

In a sweet motion, he pressed his lips to your cheek. “Another time, (y/n). It’s been lovely meeting you.”

 

 

The pleasure was mine, Clint.

 

 

You looked at him then, taking him in, so you wouldn’t ever forget.

 

You smiled at him gently, almost tenderly, before leaning closer to him. “Until next time then.” And as the fire flowed from your lips this time, the warm, sweet taste of cotton candy parted his own and he felt no fear. Only a sudden closeness of you. And as he blinked, you were gone.

 

 

As flames burned around you now, the memory came to him, as the sweet scent caught on his lips.

 

He shut his eyes, in disappointment, in anger, in betrayal, and in yearning. He felt the warmth of your breath, like it was yesterday, and that somehow, some way, he was going to see you again.

 

“This is why.”

 

And that warm, candy swirled around him, and he tasted it, intensely, deeply, all the way into his breaking soul.

 

And as the salty drops from your eyes caught on his lips, you thanked God that after everything that had happened, that you had done…

 

You had gotten the chance finally.

 

 

To kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was going to end the chapter after "clear as day" but decided not to make you wait for the next part, which is my favorite of all time. YOU'RE WELCOME.
> 
> now here's a tissue and a teddybear, and gimme some love ;)
> 
> random ramblings:  
> the amount of punniness in this chapter deserves an award
> 
> I COULDN'T HELP IT OKAY"? I HAD TO BRING MY FAVORITE ARCHER INTO THIS. THE NEW TAG SHOULD BE CLINT INEVITABLY MAKES HIS WAY INTO EVERY FIC AND PAIRING
> 
> This chapter is my absolute favorite. it's so beautiful. it makes me want to cry.
> 
> Quick poll: if you could choose Thor, Loki or Clint to remember, who would you chose? (BASED ON THIS STORY STEVE)
> 
> i have so many more ramblings to add which i'll do later, since i'm drowning in feels/clintlove right now. WAHAHAHA BOOOOOO
> 
> leave me a comment if you liked!


	9. She-Wolf 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> are you confused? Thor is. Clint is mad. Lots of things happen.
> 
> now i'm confused too.
> 
> gimme some love if you enjoyed!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little quickie to tide my lovelies over ;)
> 
> stuff is funny. less angsty. more funnies.

“What’s eating you, Clint?”

 

“Nothing.” He kept his eyes on the screen, ignoring his friend.

 

“You sure?” Steve exchanged a glance with Bucky.

 

“Yup.”

 

“Okay then.” Steve went over to the kitchen to grab something to eat as Thor paced past the fridge back and forth.

 

“What’s up Thor?”

 

“I feel as if I have forgotten something Brother Bucky.”

 

Clint gritted his teeth and grabbed his beer to take a swig, nearly crushing the can in his hand. Steve gave Bucky another look before he stuck his head in the pantry.

 

“Are we out of Pop-Tarts?”

 

“No, that is not it. Believe me, I have checked over and over again. Something is… how do you say, on the tip of my tongue? Except I know not what.”

 

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Thor.” Steve assured as he grabbed a box of cereal and some milk.

 

“Have you tried asking Jane?”

 

“No Lady Natasha, I have not.”

 

“What are woman good for if not keeping track of your shit-OW!”

 

Tony rubbed his arm as Nat the Cat sat down next to Clint on the couch. “Careful Clint. You’re going to get beer all over yourself if you don’t lighten up.”

 

“Huh? Oh.” He looked down at half-mashed beer in his hand. “Right.”

 

“Come on, man. Spill.”

 

“I’m fine.” Tony choked on his whiskey dramatically before egging him on some more. “Is it about some chick? Believe me, those are a dime a dozen. Literally. OW!”

 

“If he doesn’t want to talk about it, leave him alone.” Nat the Cat gave Clint an appraising look. “We’ll find out soon enough.”

 

“I highly doubt that,” Clint muttered back.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Nothing.” He got up abruptly from the couch and walked out.

 

 

“Okay something’s definitely up.”

 

“Right? He hasn’t used the vents in like two days!”

 

“Maybe because you haven’t fixed them yet.”

 

“Hey at least half are still functional. Right Jarvis?”

 

“47%, sir.”

 

“See?”

 

Bruce rolled his eyes. “When will you learn to mind your own business, Tony?”

 

“What are you talking about?! We’re all curious.”

 

“I’m not.” He poured himself some coffee and drank it unceremoniously.

 

“Whatever.” Tony turned to everyone else. “So who has the best shot at getting it out of him.”

 

“I vote Nat.” Bucky spoke up. “She’s not the Black Widow for nothing.”

 

“I second that.”

 

“You’re just agreeing because you’re best friends, Steve.”

 

“I don’t care who agrees, I’m not doing it.”

 

“Don’t be a party pooper Nat!”

 

“I assume you are not speaking of her bowel movements, Brother Tony.”

 

“That’s right Thor. Hey, speaking of, do you think you can get it out of him big guy?”

 

“I would not suggest force as a means of getting information out of Brother Barton.”

 

“Well then what?”

 

“Like I said, just leave him alone. When he wants us to know, he’ll tell us.”

 

“Look at you, Miss Kumbayah. OUCH!”

 

 

In the arena, Clint punched a dummy furiously. Ouch. That hurt.

 

“Need some company?”

 

“Lay off it, Tasha.”

 

“Relax, Clint. I’m not here on some fact-finding mission.” Nat the Cat settled down to watch him train. “I know you can’t keep anything from me forever, anyway.”

 

Clint smiled grimly. “In this case, I just might.”

 

“Try me.”

 

Clint hopped into the rafters and shot several arrows in her direction. She jumped into a split and landed. “Not bad.”

 

He shrugged and sent a couple more out, which she dodged easily. His heart wasn’t in it; she could tell.

 

“Give it a rest.” He was running along the beams now, doing jumps and flips. Only from an expert eye could you tell he was a little sluggish. Nat the Cat was, if nothing, an expert.

 

“I can’t.” He shot a few more arrows into the air, before grappling down.

 

“Try.”

 

He landed next to her and sat down, his head lowered. Your face was branded into his memory, sad and longing. He couldn’t shake it no matter how hard he tried. Apparently your magic wasn’t as strong as you had expected either; Thor kept checking the pantry every five seconds, convinced he was forgetting something. Which he was. You.

 

“Come on Clint.”

 

He shook his head. You hadn’t expressly told him not to talk to anyone about you. Then again, would it make a difference? If you had truly removed your presence from everyone else’s mind then bringing you up would make no difference. Except make him look crazy. Funny how that works out.

 

“It’s about… (y/n).”

 

Nat the Cat looked at him thoughtfully. “Sounds… familiar.” His eyes widened in surprise, so she continued. “Is she an old… girlfriend? Flame?”

 

God damn. “Something like that.”

 

“Really? The infamous Hawkeye all twisted over a female?”

 

“You sound like Stark.”

 

She smirked. “So, what about her? She pop into your life all of a sudden?”

 

“Something like that.”

 

“You’re going to have to do better than that Barton.”

 

“I wish I could.” This was hard. And terrible. He couldn’t believe you were putting him through this. No, all of them. He could believe you were putting all of them through this.

 

Nat the Cat was staring at him now, ill at ease. “Okay, we’ll work with what we have. What about this (y/n)?”

 

“She…” How could he continue? What could he say? See there’s this sorceress that you all knew that she made you all forget except for me and now we’re supposed to go on with our lives except I can’t because she wanted me to remember and now I miss her and I want her back and I want life back the way it should be because you can’t just expect life to go on after you take someone out of it, especially if they’re supposed to be in it.

 

“Obviously it’s complicated. I get it, Clint. But you gotta give me more than that.”

 

“I just…” How could you do this to him?! To everyone?!

 

“I miss her.”

 

“Hmm.” Nat nodded thoughtfully. “Is there any reason why you aren’t in contact with her currently?”

 

She’s not supposed to exist. “I seem to have… lost track of her.”

 

Nat the Cat lifted a brow in curiosity. “If even you are having problems getting in contact with her, I’d assume she’s trying explicitly to avoid you. Either that or she’s dead.”

 

Isn’t that what you had said? That you’d be dead to everyone but him?

 

“I suppose.”

 

“It’s not like you to dwell, Clint.” Those were almost your exact words, weren’t they? Except you had been referring to yourself, not to him. That’s the thing, though. People dwell. Even the most vicious and heartless have trouble letting go. And you were neither. You were… lost. Or maybe misguided. Stubborn, to be sure. But you had a heart, and you loved, despite what you wanted to think. Erasing yourself from everyone whom you cared about’s presence wouldn’t change that. If anything, you would miss them more. This whole thing was a farce, and you should have known better.

 

Clint’s thoughts were interrupted as Nat the Cat put a hand on his knee, comfortingly. He snapped back to the present. “She must have been important to you.”

 

 

“Yeah, I guess. She was.”

 

 

 

“Why is there another throne sitting next to mine?!”

 

“I-I’m not quite sure how it got there, Sire-“

 

“Well get rid of it!” Loki glared at the guards who moved quickly at his command. He had woken up in an especially bad temper this morning, no doubt due to the run-in with the beast yesterday. He was healed up just fine, but so far no one had been able to track its whereabouts. He hated being cornered like this; waiting was not his strongest suit. Especially when he had been bested. “And has there been any more news on the creature?!”

 

“No My Lord.” The commander of the legion lowered his head in shame. “There have been no sightings. The last tracks led far into the forest, and we are still searching there.”

 

“Well, hurry it up. I do not want to have to resort to any more… measures to ensure your success.” The commander nodded and marched out of the palace, shouting commands. Without you by his side, Loki had resorted to punishing their failures- severely. Morale was through the floor, to say the least. “And where is my breakfast?!”

 

“Coming, Your Worship!!”

 

 

“Thor, you have been rifling through the house all day! What’s going on?!”

 

“I’m sorry my love, I seem to have lost something.”

 

“Well, what is it?!”

 

“I cannot remember.”

 

Jane sighed, frustrated. He had been doing this for hours. There are only so many times you can upend the house before you either a, find it, or b, give up. “You know, the definition of insanity is repeating the same steps for the same results, while expecting another outcome.”

 

“I’m not mad, Jane.”

 

“Well I’m about to be.”

 

Thor put his arm around his lover and pulled her close. “I’m sorry my dear. It’s been on my mind for the past few days now, and I still haven’t figured it out. I’m sure it is as tiresome for you as it is for me.”

 

“Maybe more.” She shook her head and leaned against him. “And no one at the tower has figured it out either?”

 

“No. In fact, it seems things there are in more upheaval. Brother Clint has been in the foulest of moods, for reasons unknown.”

 

“Clint, really?” Jane considered this. “He’s usually the last one to have a problem.”

 

“My thoughts exactly.” Thor kissed her on her forehead before returning to his searching. “Now as soon as I figure out what it is I’m missing, I will be out of your hair my love.”

 

“I hope it’s soon. I’m about to throw away your Pop-Tarts in retaliation.”

 

“That, my dear Jane, would not be wise in the least.”

 

 

“So, let me get this straight.”

 

Clint sighed. This was the third time they went over it.

 

“She exists. But not in our dimension.”

 

“No.” He tried not to let his irritation show. “She exists. Period.”

 

“Is she here?”

 

“Now? I don’t know.”

 

“So, she could be in a different dimension.”

 

“Fine. I guess.”

 

“And only you remember her.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Because she made everyone else forget.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do you have any idea how crazy you sound right now?”

 

Another sigh. “Yes. I do.”

 

“Why did you come to me with this? Of all people?”

 

“Because, Bruce.”

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Well, that makes two of us.”

 

Three days. Well you supposed that was pretty long to go without telling anyone.

 

“So what do you want me to do about it?”

 

“I don’t know!”

 

“So why’d you tell me?”

 

“Because!” Clint took a deep breath. Invoking the Hulk right now would not be a good idea. At all. “You’re the scientist. You’re also probably the sanest out of all of us.”

 

“Right.” Bruce looked at his hands and wondered why people thought he was a good person to tell stuff to. I mean, they knew who The Other Guy was, right?! “Well, it is scientifically possible I suppose. It would just require a heck of a lot of power.”

 

“Well, she’s got it.”

 

“Enough to make two whole worlds forget??”

 

“Well, she only had limited engagement on Earth, only within our team.”

 

“And on Asguard?”

 

“Well, she was the queen there.”

 

“Really?!”

 

“For like a day.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“But she was with Loki before that.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“She’s known Thor and Loki for a while.”

 

“So Thor hasn’t completely forgotten.”

 

“If you can call him restocking Pop-Tarts every other minute “remembering,” then yes.”

 

“What about Loki?”

 

“How should I know?”

 

“Good point. Well her name sounds familiar to all of us, but that’s about it.” Bruce rubbed his temples, thinking. Clint sounded very insane right now. But if it were anyone else he might have been quicker to dismiss it. “At the risk of sounding like a selfish jerk…”

 

“Go on.” Clint cracked a dry smile.

 

“Is it possible that it really is better like this? Assuming that you aren’t completely out of your mind, no one else remembers her. It’s like she never existed. This is what she wanted right? And life right now, I guess, is going right along without her.”

 

“And that’s a good thing?!”

 

“Well I don’t see why not. If Thor really had stormed Asguard to find her, then how our life is right now? Seems pretty tame in comparison.”

 

He was right. Which only spurred Clint’s anger more. This is exactly the short-term solution you had seen. But there was no way it could be good for any of you in the long run.

 

“So that’s your professional opinion?”

 

“You were asking me as a scientist?”

 

“As Dr. Bruce Banner. Scientist, evil mastermind, friend.”

 

“Are we talking about me or Tony here?” Clint let out a chuckle, before his features darkened.

 

“At the very least, Thor seems to be getting worse, instead of better.”

 

“It’s true.” Thor had almost torn the door off the pantry in frustration after seeing his Pop-Tarts staring back at him for the umpteenth time. “And if that’s the case, there’s no telling what’s going on with Loki. His magic is much stronger than his brother’s.” Bruce turned to Clint. “So what do you suppose we do?”

 

“Well, I’m glad there’s a we, now, at any rate.”

 

“For now, yes.” The two shared a small smile.

 

“Let’s tell the others.”

 

 

“You’re insane.”

 

“That’s the fourth time you’ve said that Tony.”

 

“Well he is!” Tony responded indignantly. “Don’t tell me you guys actually believe him!”

 

“If anything, it would explain this, er, déjà vu, feeling you speak of.”

 

“Good for you, Thor, picking up on our slang.” Bucky thumped Thor on the back before returning to the subject at hand. “It definitely sounds crazy.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“But then again, so do a lot of things we do. And say. And learn.”

 

“Seriously, Steve? You’re actually buying this crap?”

 

“All I’m saying is, we shouldn’t be so quick to throw it out the window.”

 

“And why not?!” Tony was staring at everyone like they had grown three extra heads. Yes, three. “Clint is telling us that some mysterious superwoman-“

 

“(Y/n).”

 

“(Y/n) has managed to erase all of our memories, and the entire population of Asguard, just so that Thor and Reindeer games don’t get into a tussle over her!!”

 

“You’re oversimplifying a bit, Tony.”

 

“A bit.” It was Clint’s turn to roll his eyes. Tony was such a drama queen. King.

 

“I, for one, find the name pretty familiar.”

 

“But you’re pretty close to him, Nat. It’s possible that this delusion or whatever is borne out of some actually memory of some girl he had.”

 

“I think I’d remember if that were the case.”

 

“Maybe both of you have gone crazy.”

 

“In that case, who’s to say that all of us have? Or that all of us but Clint have? And that he’s the only sane one here?”

 

“Now you’re just playing the devil’s advocate, Bruce.”

 

“I’m just saying. It’s a possibility.”

 

“Right. And so is the Loch Ness monster. But we’re not sitting around talking about that, are we?!”

 

Bucky put a hand on Clint’s shoulder comfortingly. “Look man, even if it turns out you really are bat-shit insane, I’ll still visit you in your padded cell.”

 

“Thanks Bucky.”

 

“Anytime.”

 

Thor cleared his throat. “Would it be possible for you to uh, jog our memories Clint? Perhaps by reminding us of past events that happened with this (y/n), we may be able to crack her spell slightly.”

 

“That’s the problem. I did that with Bruce for an hour and nada. Zilch.”

 

“It’s because it never happened, Bird Brain.”

 

“Tony, you’re not helping.” Steve addressed the group. “That’s an interesting idea, Thor. Would you like to give it a try, Clint?”

 

Clint groaned. He really didn’t want to re-hash your entire existence with the group, especially with snarky comments from the peanut gallery. “I guess. But everyone needs to shut up or else I’m really going to blow my stack.”

 

“Five bucks says he already has.”

 

“Tony!!”

 

“Fine, fine. Just don’t hit me again Tasha. Yeesh.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gooo peanut gallery!!
> 
> random ramblings:
> 
> extra throne *snicker*
> 
> poor brucie. darn him for being so trustworthy.
> 
> quick poll: who would you choose to let in on the secret? (NO THOR PHARM)
> 
> who's train of thought would you follow the most? (in the fic!!)
> 
> thanks to all the lovelies who encourage me; you light up my world!!!


	10. She-Wolf 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ughh this story!!!! so many surprises so many turns so many FEELS!!
> 
> leave me a comment if you enjoyed!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> where Clint screws up everything, everyone else is confused, and lots of shit goes down. read on, but beware.
> 
> its ABOUT TO GO DOWN.

Back on Asguard, Loki’s foul mood had not abated. If possible, it had gotten worse.

 

“What do you mean the footprints were a dead end??”

 

“I’m sorry, My King. We were unable to find any trace of the beast beyond that point.”

 

Loki slammed his fist on the arm of the throne. “You incompetent fools!”

 

The soldiers shuddered at the sound. They did not want to join their fallen brothers.

 

Loki resisted the urge to knock them all out. He had taken down enough of his troops for the day. He rose to his feet angrily. “I will return to the forest with you. And we will not leave until we find it. Understood?!”

 

“Yes Sir!” The title rang in his ears; he had heard it before, but not in the same context. He shook it from his mind; he had more pressing matters to attend to.

 

“And for god’s sake, someone get me my supper!!”

 

 

Back at the tower, things weren’t going so hot either.

 

“And I crashed into the ground? Now I know you’ve gone crazy.”

 

“Can you please keep your ego in check, Tony?”

 

“So you’re saying that a girl who turned into an animal and beat you at sparring doesn’t sound weird at all, Tasha?”

 

“I’m not saying that-“

 

“Exactly.”

 

“But,” Nat the Cat continued with a glare in his direction. “Having assistance when we rescued Thor sounds completely within the realm of possibility.”

 

“Whoever she is, she sounds hot.”

 

“That is so like you Bucky.”

 

“And you did think she was hot.” Clint affirmed.

 

“But she only had eyes for you?” If it were from anyone besides Steve this would sound highly suspicious. And insulting.

 

“No. It was about Thor and Loki.”

 

“But she kissed you.”

 

“Once!”

 

“Right. The other time she spit fire at you.”

 

“Tony.” Bruce warned.

 

“Look.” Steve spoke up. “It seems like we’re not getting anywhere.”

 

“Because there’s nothing to get.”

 

“Tony.” The billionaire clamped his lips shut at the look Bruce gave him.

 

“Let’s put this aside for now, and see how it looks in a few days.”

 

“If you ask me, it’s going to look just as crazy in a few days as it does now.”

 

“Not you too, Bucky.”

 

“I’m being serious. If it’s really true, then a few days or not isn’t going to make a difference.”

 

“He’s right.” All eyes turned to Nat the Cat. “At this point, the only thing that’s certain is that Clint really believes all this is true, and Thor is definitely missing some screws.”

 

“What’s new.” Tony blinked innocently at the glares that came in his direction.

 

“I guess the most logical thing to do now would be to proceed as if Clint were right.”

 

“Come again?!” Tony’s voice rose almost an octave. “How is that the most logical thing? In any realm?!”

 

“Because,” Nat the Cat explained with a pointed look. “If we continue the way we are right now, with us guessing and questioning and doubting, we’ll get nowhere. If we completely dismiss the notion, then we will have benefited and learned nothing. If we, however, assume Clint’s admission to be true, and carry on in such manner until we are proven otherwise, we will have lost nothing. And possibly gained more.”

 

Tony shook his head morosely. “You are just looking for things to do, Widow.”

 

“And you’re just being a lazy dolt.”

 

“Both of you.” Steve stepped up now. “Nat’s plan makes sense. We’ll continue on Clint’s premise for now. See what we find. If it proves fruitless in a few days, we’ll put the matter to bed.” The tone in his voice affirmed that the subject was closed.

 

“Alright then.” Clint finally perked up at this decision. “Where do we start first?”

 

“Any other day I would kill myself rather than suggest this…”

 

“What is it Thor?”

 

“It may be time to pay my brother a visit.”

 

“Oh no…”

 

 

“Remind me again why you’re doing this?!”

 

“It is as with any other mission, my Jane.”

 

“But this is pure madness!!” Jane was staring at her boyfriend, perplexed. “You’re walking straight into the jaws of danger for the supposed memory of one person! This is the man who nearly killed you! Killed us all!!”

 

“I know.” Thor pulled her into his strong arms. “If there were any other way, Jane, believe me when I say we would pry open the heavens to do so. As such, we have no other choice.”

 

“You can’t expect me to be okay with this.”

 

“Nor do I wish it of you.” He pressed his lips to her hair before straightening up abruptly. “But I must go.”

 

Jane folded her arms across her chest, pursing her lips. She knew when she was beat; but she still put up a fight. That’s what Thor loved about her.

 

“Fine. But if you come back with so much as a scratch I will personally see to it that you are buried alive.”

 

He reared his head back with a laugh and drew her in. “I would not dream of it, my love.”

 

 

In the forest, the God of Lies was having no luck. “Damn! How is it possible for it to have slipped off like this?”

 

The guards quavered in their boots at their King’s anger. At this point, being mauled to death by an unknown beast seemed almost better than returning to the palace with the volatile demi-god.

 

Loki cursed again as he sent out waves of blue light, searching each crevice for a trace of you. Or your fabled creature at any rate. He should have saved his breath. Er, magic.

 

“I don’t believe it,” Loki muttered under his breath. His eyes wandered the countryside, but he could find no sign of magical beings.

 

“Sir!!” A panting messenger galloped into his presence.

 

“You will refer to me with the proper respect!” A blue ray shot out and knocked the poor boy from his mount.

 

“Y-yes Your Highness.” The boy pressed his face into the dirt.

 

“What is it?!”

 

“Y-your Brother, my Lord.”

 

“What?!” Loki’s voice dropped dangerously low.

 

“He has come back, sir. With his friends. They’re at the castle.”

 

Loki pointed his finger treacherously at the messenger. “If you are in any way shape or form lying-“

 

“It is the truth, Your Worship!” As if on cue, another soldier raced into his line of sight, shouting frantically. Loki cursed loudly. It was definitely not his day.

 

“Back to the castle! Round up the guards!”

 

And with a blink, he was gone.

 

 

“Hello, Brother.”

 

“Thor.” Loki’s silky voice belied his fury. “What a pleasant surprise. What brings you to our lovely home?”

 

“I have come to discuss a grave matter.”

 

“I’m afraid you’ve come at a rather… inconvenient time.” Loki looked warily at Bruce before continuing. “I have a pressing matter to attend to.”

 

“Would it happen to pertain to a mystical beast?”

 

Loki’s eyes narrowed as he sized his brother up carefully. “What would you know of that?”

 

“We believe we may have an answer.”

 

“If anyone was kooky enough to believe it, it would be him.”

 

Steve clamped a hand around Tony’s wrist as he shut his trap.

 

“I’m intrigued.” Loki appraised his audience before he proceeded. “Go on, then. Enlighten me.”

 

“You don’t think it will be that easy, do you?” Bucky spoke up cockily.

 

“Since you’ve made it your business to interrupt my otherwise very occupied day, I would suggest you have at it. Quickly.”

 

Thor raised a hand to let his friends know it was alright. “Does the name, (y/n), sound familiar?”

 

And as Loki’s jaw dropped, a force spread throughout the room like a hurricane, shaking the very foundation of the castle.

 

 

Damn. Your forehead creased as you pushed back with all your might. You had really over-exerted yourself as of late. Perhaps you should have waited a day to deal with Thor. Or his friends. Or left Clint out of the whole thing. You shook your head. What was it that he had once said? The only reason a wildcat would allow itself to be caught; to find its way out again. No, that had been Thor. Your own thoughts were becoming muddled. This would not do.

 

 

Loki had regained his composure and sneered down at the Avengers. “What of it?”

 

“Come off it Loki.” It was Captain America who spoke up this time. “We all saw your reaction.”

 

“And?”

 

“She means something to you. Tell us what.”

 

“A woman’s name.” Loki scoffed. “You give me a woman’s name as the solution to the monster that plagues my people?”

 

“Don’t try to change the subject,” Nat the Cat snapped.

 

“On the contrary, Black Widow. It is you who have strayed from the original matter. You offered an explanation to our current problem only to bring up some fair maiden or other.”

 

Clint nodded to Steve. It was a start.

 

“So (y/n) was a fair maiden?”

 

“I assume so; and judging by your interest, I would say quite fair indeed.”

 

“Judging by your interest earlier, Frosty, I’d say the same.” For once, no one reprimanded Tony for his snarkiness.

 

“My concern at the present lies only in the safety of my subjects.”

 

“Bullshit.”

 

“And,” Loki added, “if you have nothing more to say in the matter, I will ask you to take your leave.”

 

“We’re not done here,” Thor thundered.

 

“Now.” Loki’s voice rang with authority as the guards surrounding the throne room readied their weapons.

 

“You forgot about this guy.” Tony patted Bruce on the shoulder smugly.

 

“And you forgot who’s kingdom you’re in.”

 

“Okay, both of you shut up.” The crew’s eyes widened as Clint spoke up.

 

“What is it Hawk?” Loki spoke testily.

 

“It’s obvious that (y/n) means more to you than you’re letting on. Spill.”

 

“Or what?”

 

“Or you’ll have us to deal with.” Steve raised his shield as the rest of the Avengers got into position.

 

“A mere woman is inciting the war between Midguard and Asguard then?”

 

Clint laughed dryly at the irony. “Oh, you have no idea.”

 

“Brother, it is you who is inciting war.”

 

“Is that right, Thor?”

 

“Tell us what you know, and we will be out of your hair.”

 

“And the beast?”

 

“I assure you, Loki, the monster and (y/n) are tied. As one.”

 

“I cannot see any possible connection between the most beautiful woman in the nine realms and this magical creature that terrorizes us.”

 

The room shook again, this time harder than the last. Plaster began raining down as the guards steadied their helmets and Steve lifted his shield.

 

 

Your whole body was straining with effort now. Leave it to the God of Mischief to play a hand in your undoing. For someone who dropped onto his own splinters like a bag of bricks, he was putting up a tremendous fight. Then again, it had been you who had put him back together. You were getting stretched pretty thin, all things considered.

 

 

“So, she does exist.”

 

Loki peered at your friends incredulously. “You must be joking.”

 

“Do I look to be in a gaming mood?!”

 

“Well whatever jest you are playing, is of no consequence to me.” Loki sniffed before continuing. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a kingdom to save.”

 

“Loki!” Clint barked. The Prince turned with distaste at the tone with which he was addressed. “Tell them!”

 

“What are you yapping about, mortal?”

 

“Tell them about her!”

 

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” For once, Loki was telling the truth.

 

“They’ve forgotten!” His voice was desperate, in addition to angry now.

 

“Whatever it is, it’s not my problem.”

 

“Oh?” Clint stepped towards the throne as the guards pointed their weapons at him. “It’s not? Then tell me. What does she look like?”

 

Loki scoffed. “I’m done with your Midguard games. Get out of here before I remove you by force.”

 

“Yeah, not gonna happen Reindeer Games.”

 

“Shall we test that theory, Stark?”

 

Clint sent a glare at Tony to keep him quiet. “Do it, Loki. Try to remember what she looks like.”

 

“To what end, archer.”

 

“Just do it!” Clint exploded, as even your friends started in surprise.

 

A look of annoyance crossed Loki’s face, but again a force blasted through the room, the columns tumbling.

 

It was getting hard for you to hold on. Damn him. You should have known better. You should have- it was too late. There was no time for that now. There wasn’t much left for you to do. You squeezed your eyes shut and began to count down.

 

 

Three…

 

“(Y/n)!!” Clint was screaming now, as everyone looked on in awe and confusion. “I know you can hear me!!”

 

Stop it Clint.

 

“Give it up, (y/n)!! You can’t keep doing this forever!”

 

Two…

 

“Quit yapping!” It was Loki’s turn to shout. “You have no right to address her as such!!”

 

“Address who??” Tony was looking between the two of them now like he himself was the madman.

 

One…

 

“Oh God…”

 

 

One last blast passed through the hall as a bright light exploded throughout the room and the Avengers, Loki, and the soldiers all faded into nothingness amid the falling rubble.

 

 

 

“Ugh…”

 

“You couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you.”

 

“Mmf…”

 

“Now look at the mess you’ve made.”

 

“Agh…”

 

“And you have only yourself to blame this time.”

 

Clint moaned some more as he forced his eyes open. “(Y/n)…”

 

“That’s right. I’m back. Thanks to you.”

 

“(Y/n)!!”

 

“Yes, that’s me. Don’t wear it out.” You were sitting on the edge of his bed looking very annoyed.

 

“Where…”

 

“At the tower. Where else?! I couldn’t very well leave you in Asguard now, could I? Seeing as how you and your friends seem hell-bent on creating an intergalactic war.”

 

“Our friends…”

 

“As you Midguards say, Potato, Hashbrowns.”

 

“That’s not how it goes, (y/n).” With another groan, Clint managed to prop himself on his elbows. “Shit.” He looked around his room bewildered. “What the fuck happened?!”

 

“You tell me.” You looked at him disapprovingly. “I left you here a few days ago, with everything all fixed up. Now you had to go and ruin it.”

 

“Me?!” He stared at you for a second. “You’re the one who went all mind-wipey on everyone!”

 

“And now you can see why!” You threw your hands in the air.

 

“What?! This is all your fault!”

 

“On what planet-“

 

“This one! Or Asguard. Either way!”

 

“None of this would have happened if you had let things be!”

 

“None of this would have happened if you had let things be first!”

 

The two of your were panting from arguing, and everything else that had happened.

 

You were at an impasse.

 

 

You dropped back against the bed, exhausted. He laid down as well, scooting closer to you. “So where’s everyone else?”

 

“Where do you think? In the tower as well.”

 

“And Loki?”

 

“Why should you care?”

 

“I don’t.”

 

“Then why’d you ask?!”

 

“I was curious.”

 

You held your breath for a moment. “He’s fine.”

 

“I see.”

 

You exhaled slowly. “Is anyone else up?”

 

“No.”

 

“So it’s just the two of us again, then.”

 

“Yes.” You rolled your eyes. “I never should have let you go, Clint.”

 

“That’s right. No more running away.”

 

“That’s not what I meant.”

 

“Then what?”

 

“I should have made you forget like the rest of them.”

 

“You didn’t have it in you.”

 

“Oh yes I did.”

 

“Oh really?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Then how did your spell fall apart this time?”

 

“Because you wouldn’t stop fighting it!”

 

“If you couldn’t cover everyone else, what makes you think you could cover me along with it?!”

 

“Because, nitwit, if I hadn’t let you keep your memories, there would be no one opposing the spell.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Idiot.”

 

“I guess that was your bad then.”

 

You contemplated blowing your own brains out as Clint rolled over to face you.

 

“Hey.”

 

“What.”

 

“It’s good to see you.”

 

You sighed heavily. “It’s good to see you too Clint.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A;SLDKFJA;SLDJF;ALSKJD;FLAKJSDF let me know below what your feelings are about this chapter. because i'm so TORN. but i hope you loved it!
> 
> random ramblings:
> 
> i took a lot longer to post this chapter (even though i finished a few days ago) because this fic is getting to me. EMOTIONALLY. MENTALLY. xD i felt like i built up so much stuff to get lovely erased from everyone's memories and then the climax was SOFAST. (shut up tony!!) but i really didn't want to spend too much time having the characters pine/wonder over Lovely. hence this.but i worked super hard on it and i'm proud of it.
> 
> is anyone else as emotional about this fic as me? usually i'm the writer so i know what's gonna happen but damnit THIS FIC IS GETTING ME EMOTIONAL. SO MANY FEELS. SO MUCH HURT. AND HAPPY. AND ANGST. AND FLUFF. i need some chocolate.
> 
> by the way, i'm coming close to finishing up on this fic. which is also making me very sad, because it's been such a good ride (SHUT UP TONY!) and it's been pretty rad, if you ask me. however, when a good ending comes to me, i won't overextend myself. BUT LIKE A GOOD MOVIE, IT MAKES ME SAD WHEN ITS OVER. i've got a few fabulous chapters planned to wrap up this adventure with a bang! (fine tony, make the damn joke)
> 
> anyway, gimme some love if you liked!
> 
> p.s. i am way too emotional to come up with a quick poll (i know right?! first time!!) so it's your turn my lovelies!! leave me a poll in the comment below. 
> 
> XOXO


	11. She-Wolf 11 SNIFF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i've been holding off on updating as this fic is coming to a close and IT HURTS ME. THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD RIDE.
> 
> this chapter is full of sniffles. snifflysniffles. why? READ ON TO FIND OUT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MINDFUCKFEELSMINDFUCKFEELS
> 
> please gimme some love if you enjoyed! your comments make my day!!!
> 
> p.s.  
> MINDFUCKFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSS

“Ohhhh shit.”

 

“Tony.”

 

“What?”

 

“Help roll Thor off me, would you?”

 

Tony took a break from massaging his forehead to laugh at Nat the Cat, who was currently squashed beneath a very unconscious demi-God.

 

“What’s going on?” Steve attempted to sit up, before he realized he was tangled into a knot with Bucky, who was looking quite amused all things considered.

 

“I’m guessing little Mrs. Loki has something to do with this.”

 

“Right.” Everyone (except for conked-out Thor) turned to see Bruce sitting with his legs crossed looking serene.

 

“Woah…” Tony eyed him cautiously. “Everything alright Banner?”

 

“Peachy.”

 

“You’re not going to-“

 

“Nope.”

 

“Ahh.” Tony let out a breath of relief. “Wait, why?!”

 

“Tony!” Steve shot him a glare while Nat the Cat raised her fist- the one that wasn’t stuck.

 

“Well, once the ceiling started crumbling, I figured Clint had been right, so I ducked under cover before the place collapsed. Or the world. Not sure which one yet.”

 

“Speaking of which, where’s that asshole?”

 

 

“Well, they’re up now.”

 

“I know, Clint. I can sense them.”

 

“Oh really? So why am I in the vents?”

 

“That is a very good question.”

 

“I thought your magic broke!”

 

“My spell did.”

 

“Same thing!”

 

“It most certainly is not.”

 

“Whatever. Can I come down now?!”

 

“I never said you couldn’t.”

 

With a rustle, the handsome archer popped out from above you.

 

“Seems like everyone remembers again.”

 

“Quite perceptive Mister Barton.”

 

“Whatever, Misses Laufeyson.” He glowered at the last word, still partially blaming Loki for the uncomfortable position he had landed in.

 

“So, what are your plans now?”

 

“I have to be honest; I did not actually plan for this to happen.”

 

“Really.”

 

“That blistering wit, indeed.”

 

“Well now that it has?!”

 

“I’m trying to decide which mess to sort out first.”

 

“How many are there?!”

 

“Shall we start with realms? Two in that case.”

 

“Well since you’re already here…”

 

“I doubt the danger here parallels the one in Asguard.”

 

“I can make it.” You smiled at him in spite of everything.

 

“I think you’ve already succeeded my dear archer.”

 

“Well alright, my dear brainwasher, in that case why don’t you head to the living room to apologize to everyone.”

 

“I’d rather not.”

 

“Are you serious?!” Clint looked like he was about to bite your head off.

 

“Quite.”

 

“After everything?!”

 

“We would not even be in this situation if you had not been so stubborn.”

 

“You started it!”

 

You sighed; this is why you don’t get attached. Especially to Midguardians. They are so emotional. “Considering it was for the greater good-“

 

“Greater good my ass!” Clint was so angry he wouldn’t look at you. “You did it for your own stupid selfish reasons.”

 

“You are right.”

 

“I know!”

 

“That does not mean I was wrong.”

 

“Yes it does!”

 

“Those two reasons do not contradict each other.”

 

“You contradict yourself!”

 

“How so?”

 

“Because!” He started at you angrily. You returned his stare emotionlessly, which seemed to rile him up more.

 

“You always claim to be some aloof, independent fucking woman!”

 

You lifted a brow.

 

“But you’re just as fucking dramatic as the rest of us!”

 

You lowered your eyes. “That is true-”

 

“Yes! It is!”

 

“Which is why I attempted to right my wrongs in the first place.”

 

He shook his head furiously. “You don’t get it, do you?!”

 

“Enlighten me, then.”

 

 

**“People don’t choose who they love.”**

 

 

The two of you turned to see the God of Thunder looking at you with an unreadable expression.

 

“No, they don’t.”

 

“Neither do they choose the consequences of their actions.”

 

“Indeed.” You gave him a look as if to say, what’s your point?

 

“And lastly.” He strode over like the King he was meant to be. “They don’t erase time to deal with it.”

 

“What then?”

 

He placed his hands firmly on your shoulders, planting you harder against the ground. “They stay. They dwell. To fix their mistakes.”

 

Suddenly, you couldn’t look him in the eye; even after it all, he could shake you to the core just like that.

 

“I’ll just uh, go then.” Clint jumped up to a vent before peering towards you. “But we’re not finished, (y/n).”

 

You made no response; you were still frozen.

 

 

 

“Tell me why you did it.” The two of you were alone now. For the first time in who knows how long.

 

“You know, Thor.” There was no fight in your voice.

 

“I want to hear you say it.”

 

You took a deep breath, resisting the urge to shake him off. “I wanted to protect Loki.”

 

“I don’t care about him.”

 

“Well then, why did you ask?”

 

“No, (y/n).” His voice was hard now. “Why did you do this to me?”

 

It was your turn to shake your head furiously.

 

“(Y/n)!” His voice was commanding, but you had never been one for authority.

 

“I’ve said it enough, Thor.”

 

“WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!”

 

At this, you pushed him away roughly. “You know why!”

 

The two of you were breathing heavily, locked in a deadly gaze.

 

“Why do you have to hear it again?! Haven’t you tortured me enough?!”

 

“Haven’t I-??!!” He was squinting so hard in anger he could barely see you.

 

“Yes! You!” Your own eyes were narrowed to slits. “Was it not better?!”

 

“To have you manipulate my own memories?! My personal thoughts??!! My God, woman!”

 

“Don’t act like that’s what it’s about!”

 

“That is exactly what it’s about!”

 

 

You opened your eyes, relenting. “I’m sorry, Thor.”

 

As angry as he was, he eased slightly at your low voice.

 

“It was wrong of me to alter your mind. It is a place where no one but you should be in control.”

 

He nodded stiffly.

 

“I cannot fully express my regret.” You meant this from the bottom of your heart.

 

“Nor I, my anger.”

 

You paused, blinking hard. It was a warranted reaction, to be sure. Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

 

“I-I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me. Sometime.” You couldn’t even remember the last time you stuttered.

 

“You should be so lucky.” You could tell by the gruff tone that you would be. Eventually.

 

You gave him a shaky smile. “I hope so.”

 

You continued to look at each other for a while, before you spoke. “Well, I better get to Asguard. I’m sure your brother is in quite the predicament himself.

 

“Your husband.”

 

“I guess we’ll see about that.” He couldn’t help the corners of his lips lifting slightly at that.

 

“My guess is he’ll come around.”

 

“Maybe you will too.” You had all but erased the watery image of the demi-God away, before he noticed.

 

 

“(Y/n)…?”

 

“Hmm?” His voice had softened, much to your surprise. You felt a shiver run up your spine.

 

“Why…” His eyes searched your face as you held your expression steadily. But it was too late. “Why are you crying?”

 

“I’m not.”

 

His voice rose quickly. “Don’t lie to me!”

 

You let out a bitter laugh. “The two of you are more alike than you think, Thor.”

 

He took a breath to calm himself. “Don’t do this, (y/n). Not after everything.”

 

“I’m not lying to you.” You looked him in the eye.

 

“Coming from the Goddess of Lies…”

 

“I suppose it’s up to you whether to believe me or not then.” You raised your arms to conjure a portal.

 

“Don’t pretend you don’t care, (y/n).”

 

 

You let your arms drop loosely to your sides. “I’m not, Thor.” Your voice cracked at his name.

 

“Then let me.” So after everything, he still couldn’t see.

 

“Please don’t go there.”

 

“I insist, Your Highness.” You didn’t smile at his remark this time.

 

“It would be my turn to get angry.”

 

“How so?!”

 

“Tell me, Thor. What has it been like in the few days I’ve been gone.”

 

He scowled. “My brain was scattered like leaves on an autumn day. And I don’t mean that poetically. Literally, I could not get you off my mind.”

 

“Not exactly. You didn’t know it was me.”

 

He scoffed. “That doesn’t matter in the slightest.”

 

“How were you with Jane, then.”

 

His voice got defensive. “I was driving her absolutely mad, looking for something. Apparently, it was actually someone.”

 

“And did you tell her that?”

 

“Of course I did!”

 

“So you were honest.”

 

“I’m an honest man!”

 

“Yes, Thor.” You looked hard at him. “Almost always.”

 

“What exactly are you trying to get at?”

 

“Tell me, Thor. How did you sleep?”

 

“You scrambled my brain!”

 

“Answer the question.” You didn’t obey commands; you gave them.

 

He sighed. “Well.”

 

You nodded, finished.

 

He was unperturbed unfortunately. “Insomnia is no excuse for erasing someone’s memories, (y/n).”

 

“And love then?”

 

He stiffened.

 

“You said one could not choose who one loves, did you not?”

 

His eyes flickered in agreement.

 

“And that one does not choose the consequences from their mistakes-“

 

“But stay and fix them. Yes.”

 

“Well I can’t promise you I’m able to stay. But,” you looked him in the eye. “I dare you to tell me I didn’t fix it.”

 

“How exactly did you fix it then?” You could not believe you had fallen for this dolt.

 

“Did you try to contact me?”

 

“How could I?! I didn’t even know there was a you?!”

 

“Did you sleep well?”

 

“Irrelevant!”

 

“Did you have to hide anything from Jane?”

 

 

 

“I have not lied to her.”

 

“By omission?”

 

He was at a loss of words, finally.

 

 

“I won’t deny the injustice of having one’s memories altered against their will. Neither will I deny the injustice of loving one woman while thinking of another.”

 

His eyes challenged you, but he had already lost.

 

“I love you Thor. But you already know that, don’t you?” The pain on his face wrenched at your gut. Still, you went on.

 

“I want you to be happy.”

 

“What makes you think I’m not?” Too easy. You let it go.

 

“Simple love, Thor. It is a gift. A treasure.”

 

“Simple love for a simple man?”

 

A sad smile crossed your face. “Simple, pure love. Unadulterated, uncontaminated, and unrelenting. The best kind.”

 

His expression broke your heart.

 

“You have that from Jane, Thor. You were right; I could never love you. Not like that.”

 

He opened his mouth to protest, but even if you let him, he would not have the words.

 

Inevitability.

 

“And you deserve to have that too. To be able to give that. A love like that is a- two-way street, if you will.” His eyes seemed to glisten a moment, but who could know, really? “As good as it to be received, so to is the ability to give it.”

 

“(Y/n)…”

 

“That’s why, Thor. That’s why I did it.”

 

The way he was looking at you now, was what you had always longed for. Maybe he always had it in him. But as much as you wanted it for yourself, you didn’t want it for him.

 

 

Let me go, Thor.

 

 

“A wildcat would not let itself be caged unless it wanted the game of finding its way out. This is my way.”

 

“Don’t pretend this was all some twisted challenge for you.”

 

“Don’t act like this isn’t hurting you.”

 

“I am the Goddess of Lies, Thor.”

 

“Don’t (y/n).” Even as a God, his pleas were so becoming of him.

 

“I have to go now, Thor. There is a God of Lies I must attend to.”

 

“He’ll kill you!”

 

“Maybe not.”

 

“You know his temper!”

 

“It runs in the family, does it?” Your arms were in the air once again, ready .

 

“You can’t choose him!”

 

“Don’t act like I have a choice Thor.”

 

 

**“And if you did?”**

 

 

You stared at him, betrayed. He couldn’t do this now. Not after everything.

 

“I’d rather be beaten a thousand times by your brother then watch you walk away from your Goddess, Thor.”

 

He reached out to grab you; to protect you from Loki; to hold you safe.

 

“It was a figure of speech. Or a metaphor. Something like that.” You backed away, your hands beginning to glow. “I won’t let him. I will make my amends. And then-“

 

The last of your words were swallowed into the depth of his embrace; and in all the ways you had imagined it-

 

 

You never thought it would feel this good.

 

 

“Don’t.” It was your turn to whisper.

 

“Don’t, Thor.”

 

But even as the portal appeared and pulled you into its escape, his mouth was on yours.

 

And this time, no matter how hard you pushed, he wouldn’t let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAHHHHHHH *CRIES* *hands tissue*
> 
>  
> 
> andddd tadaaa
> 
> give me some love if you enjoyed! YOU KNOW YOU LIKED IT.
> 
> random ramblings:
> 
> i suppose this is the "thor ending", in a way. the fic doesn't end here; oh no no no. however, if you are thor-bound and will be wounded at any other prospects, this is your little treat.
> 
> YOUR'E WELCOME STEVE.
> 
> Quick poll: on a scale of, cute, weepy, hot and heart-wrenching, which were you?
> 
> this fic isn't over yet :O it's almost over though. the next chapters will SHOCK. AND AWE. YOU.
> 
> as usual there will be mindfucks and feelssssss
> 
> but i especially made this one since thor gets the short straw so often~ actually since i don't really write thorxreader in general. don't know why- just happens that way.
> 
> again THIS IS FOR YOUR STEVIE <3
> 
> thanks for reading guys and leave me a comment if you liked~ my commenters are my best lovelies! XOXO


	12. She-Wolf 12 FINALLYYY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which this beautiful tale comes to an end;
> 
> how? 
> 
> WELL READ ON AND FIND OUT BITCH! ;)
> 
> leave me a comment if you enjoyed!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm finally getting better from being worsethanlovesickforclint sick. unfortunately not, lay in bed get bed rest and write fics sick.
> 
> like lay in bed and can't move sick.
> 
> i've fucking missed writing and my lovelies!!!
> 
> but i'm glad to be able to come back ALIVE ;P and with a conclusion to this awesome journey
> 
> read on lovelies!! but be warned;
> 
> there will be blood.
> 
> tears.
> 
> PAIN.
> 
> and FEELS!!!

“Well, this is awkward.”

 

“I told you don’t.” The words came out like a whimper.

 

“Well, well, well. Welcome home my queen. Or should I say, pet.”

 

You turned to Thor. “You told?!”

 

“I assure you I did no such thing.”

 

A scoff. “Did you think you could hide from me forever, darling?”

 

“Actually, Your Highness, yes.”

 

“You do not deserve to even utter my name!” Loki lifted his hand to strike at you. Nothing happened.

 

“Well, well, well, My King. It seems some things you have not yet discovered.”

 

He sneered. “Did you really think you could trick the God of Lies?!”

 

“Is that a rhetorical question?” Now that it was happening, you wondered why you didn’t let the cat out of the bag sooner. Literally.

 

“Guards!!!”

 

“Ahh ahh.” Loki narrowed his eyes as the doors slammed shut on their own.

 

“Well it seems there are many things you don’t know, brother.” Technically, Thor didn’t have any right to be gloating. But he was anyway.

 

“So you have a little magic. No matter; there are plenty of other ways to punish you.”

 

If Tony were here he would have a field day. Or Clint.

 

Clint. Shit.

 

“Look, Loki-“

 

“You will address me with respect!”

 

“Brother,” Thor warned.

 

“I’m just here to say I’m sorry. That’s it.”

 

“For what, exactly?”

 

You were feeling less and less remorseful. “Would you like a list?”

 

“Out with it!”

 

“I apologize, sir, for temporarily removing myself from your memory.”

 

“Had I not seen through your illusion would it have been permanent?”

 

You sighed; this wasn’t going to be easy. “Thor, would you mind giving us a moment?”

 

Without waiting for an answer, you sent him off.

 

 

“Loki-“

 

“You do not have permission to-“

 

“Loki.” The sternness of your voice took him by surprise; he quieted down for the moment.

 

“Tell me, My Lord. What is it really that angers you? The fact that I was able to best you? Or the fact that I came back with your brother in tow.”

 

“Believe me (y/n),” he hissed. “That does not even begin to cover it.”

 

“Please don’t make this difficult.” You rubbed your temples.

 

“You don’t know the meaning of that word, my love.”

 

“Am I still your love?”

 

 

He stiffened and turned brusquely. “I should not even dignify you with my presence currently, let alone an answer to that preposterous question.”

 

“So leave, then.” It wasn’t a challenge; just a simple statement.

 

“What? Like you did?” His toneless voice was unsettling, but you saw right through it.

 

“It was for the best, Loki.”

 

“Evidently.” This, he spit out.

 

“I-“ you took a deep breath. This was a lot harder than you expected. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

 

“Are you so arrogant as to assume you have even the slightest hold over my emotions? Other than anger?”

 

You probably should be more patient, but it’s been a long day. If he wanted to play like that, you would comply.

 

“I am glad to hear that Your Highness.” He sniffed haughtily. “As such, I am still responsible for leaving My King-“

 

“You are no longer fit to be my Queen. You never were.”

 

“Leaving the kingdom then, in its time of need. It was my obligation, and my honor to serve during your reign. For this, I beg your pardon.”

 

“Beg all you want, then.”

 

You didn’t deserve this, but you would put up with his anger; that was something he, at least, deserved.

 

 

“To think I risked my life for you; what an absolute waste.” His back was still to you.

 

“Yes, I am deeply at fault for that. I hope that I was able to atone for it.”

 

“Hardly.” That wasn’t really fair.

 

“If there any wounds-“

 

“It is not about my injury!” He whirled around, his eyes deadly. “To think I almost died for you; you pathetic excuse for an Asguardian!” Ouch.

 

“I would not have let that happen, Loki.” The chill was seeping back into your voice.

 

“If you hadn’t reached me in time-“

 

“Impossible.”

 

“You think your little powers-“

 

“Little?!” It was your turn to bite the words out. “I am not the one who fell upon a pile of blades now, am I?”

 

“How dare you?! I should have killed you when I had the chance!”

 

“Oh really? When was that, exactly? When I came back and you choked me against the wall?!”

 

He lowered his eyes for a moment, before firing back, “Well then, perhaps you shouldn’t have left!”

 

And that was it. Underneath his venomous tongue; he wanted you. By his side.

 

 

“Is the threat of death what you offer to stay me?” You were quieter now.

 

“The threat of death is upon you now, isn’t it?”

 

“Fine, then.” You had had enough. “Try me.”

 

“What?!” He laughed harshly. “Don’t tempt me, pet.”

 

“If I am that disposable, why would you throw your land in chaos searching for me?”

 

“You are walking on very thin ice, my dear.” He was practically foaming at the mouth now.

 

“Do it.” You smirked now, egging him on. “I dare you.”

 

“I refuse to exert even a drop of energy on such a waste of space.”

 

You smiled darkly at him now. “You know what, Loki? You’re a poor excuse for a king.”

 

He looked at your murderously. Oh how appropriate that illustration was. “What. Did. You. Say.”

 

“You’re weak.” You articulated the words slowly, in a clear authoritative voice.

 

 

“DIE!”

 

 

His hands shot out and blue beams wrapped around your neck, yanking you into the air with your limbs dangling.

 

You didn’t resist.

 

Try it, My King. Prove me wrong.

 

He sneered at you menacingly, thinking he had won. You gazed back at him calmly.

 

Seconds passed. He gloated expectantly, waiting for you to plead for mercy. You didn’t.

 

His eyes narrowed. “You’re testing my patience, (y/n).” The ropes pulled tighter burning the skin around it. Anytime now, he thought to himself. Surely your healing powers would soon tire.

 

Your eyes started to glaze as black dots floated throughout your vision. Trust me, My King. You don’t know inevitability like I do.

 

He clenched his fists in annoyance when you saw you unyielding. It had been half a minute when he realized the burns around your neck weren’t disappearing. In fact they were getting redder. So was your face.

 

“You stubborn girl!” He yelled. You couldn’t see his expression through the haze, but judging by his voice, he was probably starting to get worried.

 

“(Y/n)!” Maybe others wouldn’t hear the fear within the fury.

 

“Yield!” But you heard. The anguish was as clear as it was that night. Everything around you right now though, wasn’t so clear.

 

He snapped the ropes hard. Stubborn, huh? Takes one to know one. Suddenly, you felt something wet dripping from the ropes. Oh dear.

 

“Oh my god!” And then you were collapsed on the ground.

 

 

“(Y/n)!” It was something between a scream and a whimper. You were sure if you could see properly his eyes would be filled with horror. Déjà vu, was it?

 

“Heh.” You rasped. “You still don’t know your own strength, Loki.”

 

His arm was around you now, his other hand cradling your head. “Wh- Why are you resisting (y/n)??!!”

 

“I’m not,” you managed to wheeze.

 

“Damn it, let me heal you!”

 

You laughed dryly. “Your magic isn’t strong enough, Loki.”

 

“Tha-That’s not possible!” Is your pride so blind even at the brink of death, My Lord?

 

“Y-you healed me (y/n)! That day- the beast! Heal yourself!!”

 

“Oh God!” You felt a stinging on your neck; tears. Who knew the God of Evil could cry?

 

“Don’t waste your tears on this waste of space, My King.”

 

“Oh…” His hands were clutching you so tight the nails had broken your skin. “Please (y/n)… don’t leave me again.”

 

“Loki-“

 

“I love you, (y/n)!” He was sobbing now, his head buried in your chest. “My queen… Please don’t go!!!”

 

“Why does one of us have to get hurt in order for us to say it?! To prove we mean it?! Is that it?! WHY?!”

 

“That’s why I left, Loki.” Your voice was clear now. As he lifted his head to look you in the eyes, the beautiful monster was in your place.

 

“I’m a beast. This is who I am.”

 

“No-“

 

“I’m wild. Untamed. I bring chaos, and leave destruction.”

 

His eyes were wide as you stepped away, your tail lashing. “I’m sorry, Loki. For everything. I hope you can forgive me someday.”

 

 

“At least now, I think we’re even.”

 

And as he blinked, you were gone.

 

 

“Everything alright?”

 

“Hmm? Oh, yeah.”

 

“My brother give you any trouble?”

 

You smiled ruefully. “I think he took it quite well.”

 

“Somehow, I don’t believe that.” Thor was looking at you carefully, but any traces of what had transpired were gone.

 

“Well, shall we?”

 

“You’re not staying?” His voice was hopeful.

 

“I don’t linger, remember?”

 

“And when we return?”

 

“If I remember correctly I have a few apologies to make.”

 

 

“It’s not okay.”

 

“Tony, get over it. Everyone else already has.”

 

“Why am I always the only sane person here?!”

 

“You were the one who didn’t believe (y/n) existed.”

 

“For sane reasons!”

 

“It’s okay you guys.” Two seconds in Midguard and you already sounded like, Justin Beaver was it? “Tony has every right to be upset with me. All of you do, really.”

 

“All I know is, you better use those powers for good, pussycat.” Bucky chided.

 

“Duly noted.”

 

“Woah Bucky, good one. That was extra dirty.” And just like that, billionaire playboy Stark was okay.

 

“Look. I’m sure we’ve all had a long day.” Nat the Cat stated. “Let’s let (y/n) get situated.”

 

“She’s staying??!!”

 

“What are you just going to leave her out in the streets?”

 

“She can manage!”

 

“Tony, stop being butthurt.”

 

“No! It’s my tower, and I can be as butthurt as I want to be.”

 

“Pepper’s going to be mad.”

 

“…Fine. But if you ever try to fuck with my head again, (y/n), you’re going to wish you were dead.”

 

“Well, alright.” You tried to hide your amusement. Steve noticed.

 

“It’s a serious concern, (y/n).” Steve warned. “Right now, you’re a national security threat.”

 

“Hell, she’s probably a galactic security threat,” Clint voiced sternly. You knew he was teasing.

 

“Well, I can promise I won’t be erasing memories or distorting history anytime soon.”

 

“Ever.” Thor put in.

 

You smiled, but said no more.

 

“Oh, and Fury’s going to want to see you.”

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 

“It wasn’t a suggestion.” Captain America spoke authoritatively.

 

“Captain Rogers, I understand the concern. However, I can assure you that nothing good can come of it.”

 

“Even so. You’re on our planet. Our rules.”

 

“Actually…” The Avengers remained alert, should you try some weird voodoo.

 

“Well, I understand the gravity of the situation.”

 

“Well well, someone’s gotten past inertia.” Good old Clint. Handsome, perfect Clint.

 

“As it were, I doubt we could come to a conclusion that would appease your master.”

 

“Director.”

 

“Right.” As far as you could see, it was tomato, ketchup. Or was it called catsup?

 

“I believe we’d be able to work something out.” Bruce spoke up now with a hint of a smile. “From personal experience, anyway.”

 

You gave him a warm smile. “I appreciate it Bruce. Really.” He nodded. “However-“

 

“Stop it, (y/n).” Thor’s loud voice stole everyone’s attention. “Stop trying to run away.”

 

“Thor-“

 

“No it’s alright Steve.” You turned to the blonde Adonis. “Thor, you know me.”

 

“I know what you need.”

 

“A cage is not the answer.”

 

“I believe we could find a more suitable arrangement then my brother had.”

 

“Nonetheless.” You smiled shyly at everyone this time. “I think it’s best if I get out of your hair.”

 

“It’s not that you’re not welcome-“

 

“I know, Steve.” He was a real sweetheart; you were going to miss him. Who were you kidding? You were going to miss all of them.

 

“You could do with some disciplinary action, (y/n).”

 

“Coming from you Stark?”

 

“Not my kind of discipline.” You rolled your eyes.

 

“Every place has its set of rules,” Nat put in. “You don’t plan on running forever, do you?”

 

“What can I say, I’m a wildcat.” There was a loud huff. You decided to address it. “You said so yourself, Thor.”

 

“I’ve said a lot of things.” True…

 

“Maybe I can come back.” A compromise, perhaps?

 

The Avengers looked around thoughtfully. “That could work.”

 

“To… visit.”

 

“And where do you plan to go in the mean time?” Clint questioned abruptly.

 

“There are many places that sound promising.”

 

“To your King?”

 

“Perhaps.”

 

“Really.” Thor stepped in. “That’s not what said earlier.”

 

“Maybe I’ve changed my mind. Is that so wrong, Thor Odinson?”

 

“Okay.” Nat the Cat interrupted. “Obviously there’s more to be discussed between the two of you.”

 

“Three.” Clint corrected. The others looked at him curiously, but he held his expression.

 

“Well, we can reconvene later. After you… three…” she wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence, so she motioned everyone away.

 

“Don’t touch my booze while I’m gone,” Tony threatened over his shoulder.

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Master Stark.”

 

“Master Stark… I like that. I think I’ll have Pepper start calling me that.”

 

“I wouldn’t recommend it, sir.”

 

“Shut up Jarvis.”

 

 

“Brother Clint, I think it would be best if you leave me and (y/n) for the time being.”

 

Clint crossed his arms, considering.

 

“It isn’t really your business, truth be told.”

 

“Actually, it is.”

 

“Clint...” you gave him a tired look and he rolled his eyes, before strolling away. He would probably eavesdrop through the vent anyway.

 

You faced the blonde warrior with a sigh. Even in his exhausted irritated state, he was without a doubt a God.

 

“I thought you were done running away.” An accusation.

 

“I am.”

 

“So this is you not running away then?”

 

“I never said I would stop running.”

 

“So you took away one word. Excellent progress.” Sarcasm. Great.

 

“I made my amends. I did more than enough-“

 

“Really? I know a roomful of people who would beg to differ.”

 

“Debatable.”

 

“You say that entirely too often.”

 

“Fine then. Have it your way. I have made amends for the ones I love at the very least.”

 

He was silent for a moment. “So that’s it then?”

 

“Why should there be more?”

 

“My brother does not deserve you.” This was a little out of the blue.

 

“How is that pertinent to the current subject?”

 

“You plan to go back to him.”

 

“I never said that.”

 

“But it’s an option.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“So is staying.”

 

You exhaled slowly. “I’m not keen on living under some alien laws imposed by authorities who I am not sure are capable of even leading.”

 

“In comparison to my brother?”

 

“You and I both know I will have free reign in Asguard. In more ways than one.”

 

“So you would marry him.”

 

“Like I said, it is a possibility.”

 

“You don’t linger.”

 

“Are you trying to prove your point or mine?” You had him there.

 

 

“Be that as it may-“

 

“You’re allowed to admit I’m right, Thor.”

 

“Fine. You’re right. Happy?”

 

“Content at the moment, thanks for asking.”

 

He smiled dryly. “So then it is your freedom that sways your decision.”

 

“I am a wildcat, am I not?”

 

“And a Goddess.”

 

“How is that relevant?”

 

“Every God has their own realm.”

 

“So mine isn’t stationary, then.” You both laughed at this.

 

“Will Asguard be yours?”

 

“By the Gods!” How thick was his skull?! “It is one of many roads I could take. What is so hard to understand about this?!”

 

“Well are you going to decide?”

 

“Right now as we are speaking?!”

 

“Yes.”

 

You rubbed your temples slowly. “Well I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.”

 

“That I am.” The tone of his voice made you look up. “Has today meant nothing to you?!”

 

“How could you of all people possibly ask that?!” You were indignant. Possibly offended.

 

“You are so quick to dismiss the idea of staying!” Is it ironic that the God of Thunder has a fiery temper?

 

“What does that have to do with today?!”

 

“And they say I’m the idiot!”

 

“If you have something substantial to add to the conversation, then do it!” Honestly, how could you be attracted to this nimrod.

 

“You leave Asguard with the intent of not returning-“

 

“We went over that, did we not?”

 

“Let me finish!!” You were sure the entire tower could hear him now. “Now you’re considering returning much more seriously than staying!!”

 

“Well, bravo.” You were going to have an aneurism. “I’m glad we are finally on the same page.”

 

“Is it so much more tempting to return to my brother, whom you and I both know so well, than to stay with me?!”

 

You inhaled sharply.

 

“It didn’t even cross your mind, did it?”

 

You couldn’t respond.

 

“You say you love me, but the mere thought of having to compromise, having to do something for someone else-“

 

“Thor.” Your voice was cold, but he pressed on.

 

“Having to lose even a bit of your precious freedom and you turn tail. Like some fucking coward.”

 

“You’ll never learn, will you.” Your words were like stones, almost pulling yourself under.

 

“I would say the same for you.”

 

“What exactly is your grand plan then, Thor?”

 

“Plan?”

 

“Yes, Thor! Are you going home to pack up your things and leave your precious Jane?!”

 

“Don’t talk about her like that!”

 

“Exactly!” You were panting with fury. “She is precious, Thor! She’s your Goddess!”

 

“And your freedom is yours?!”

 

“It’s all I can lay claim to.” He froze at the words. “It’s the only thing that belongs wholly to me. That can carry me through the horizon.”

 

“And Loki then?”

 

“He has his own ideas.”

 

“He can be wholly yours.”

 

“What of it?”

 

“You’re taking what’s better for you?”

 

“What are you saying now?!”

 

“Loki’s more available. More attainable. So you go to him.”

 

“Look.” You words were flinty; you hoped they could carve through his brick of a head. “I want what’s best for me. Should I not? No, don’t interrupt. Loki is one of the choices I can make. As I have told you over and over, I haven’t yet made it!”

 

“And I am not.”

 

“YOU TELL ME!” You could feel the windows shaking. “Since you’ve met her, you have been Jane’s. You have been devoted to her.

 

“Is that jealousy?”

 

“Don’t start with me.”

 

“How can I, if you won’t let me?”

 

You wanted to slap him. Hurt him. He was killing you. “Have I been unsupportive in your relationship with her?!”

 

“That’s not-“

 

“In any way, shape or form. Have I?!”

 

“I’m sure at some point-“ What an ass.

 

“And this whole mess that you blame me for creating-“

 

“The blame lies solely on you!”

 

“Why did I do it?!”

 

His body, so firmly in a warrior’s stance, sagged.

 

“Say it!”

 

“To make me forget-“

 

“No. Say it.”

 

He bit his lip. He didn’t want to.

 

Had he ever changed, or was it only your imagination? Your wishful thinking?

 

 

“Alright then, Thor.”

 

“Wait.” He could hear the finality in your voice.

 

“I have to talk to Clint.”

 

“Clint be damned!” You knew Clint was cursing him out somewhere in the vents. He took a deep breath. “Because you wanted me to be with Jane.”

 

“Close enough.”

 

“How can I possibly get any closer?!”

 

“Goodbye Thor.”

 

 

“Because you love me!”

 

Thank you.

 

 

“I never asked you for this.” His voice was urgent now.

 

“You didn’t have to.”

 

“(Y/n)-“

 

“Thor.” His eyes were pleading with you, but you didn’t think anyone could give him what he wanted. You weren’t sure he even knew what he wanted. Really wanted. “Do you love her?”

 

“I-“

 

“Answer me honestly.”

 

He closed his eyes, full of regret. You weren’t giving him a free pass this time.

 

 

“Yes.”

 

 

“Thank you.” Your eyes were brimming, but you meant it. “For telling me the truth.”

 

“But-“

 

“You see why I have to leave now, Thor.” You closed your eyes to stop the flow, and found Clint. He was in the next room, without so much as an ear pressed against the wall. Would wonders never cease.

 

“(Y/n).” He breathed your name like worship.

 

“Thor.” You could not worship him anymore.

 

“(Y/n)-“

 

“I need to talk to Clint.”

 

“Please.” Even begging was becoming of him.

 

“And you? You need to go.”

 

As you raised your arms, you were reminded why you loved him. The sorrow within his eyes, was still fighting it. The inevitable.

 

“It was good seeing you, Thor.”

 

 

“What if- what if I love you too?”

 

 

He hadn’t given you an out either. An eye for an eye.

 

“Then I guess sometimes love isn’t enough.” And you sent him away where he wouldn’t find you again.

 

 

 

“Rough day?”

 

“Probably not much worse than yours.” You were sitting on the bed next to Clint now. Why on Earth did Tony have so many beds?! Must be something related to his sexual desires.

 

He chuckled. “How’d it go with Thor?”

 

“It went.”

 

“So what now?”

 

“You tell me, Master Barton.”

 

“What do you mean, Misses Laufeyson?”

 

“I’d hold off on that title for now.” He smiled grimly.

 

“You wanted to speak with me.”

 

“Were you really going to run off without saying goodbye?”

 

“If I remember correctly, you said I was more of a one-night-stand girl.” Your eyes flickered with amusement, but he didn’t return it this time.

 

“Yet you came back.”

 

“To ask you favor. For which I’m sorry.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yes.” You looked at him earnestly. “It was unfair of me; I should not have put the burden on your shoulders.”

 

“Enh! Wrong answer, but thanks for playing.”

 

“I wasn’t aware there was a question.”

 

“I don’t care about the favor.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“Okay, yeah I do. The favor sucked. You know what sucked more? You fucking with everyone’s heads.”

 

You lowered your head. “I hope one day you can forgive me.”

 

“That’s the thing!” You looked up in confusion. “It’s not about forgiveness. It’s about you doing the same damn thing again!”

 

Oh Lord. “For once I wish you had been listening, Clint.”

 

“What?!”

 

“I went over this with Thor earlier. Many. Times.”

 

“And?!”

 

“And if you had been in the vents as usual, I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.”

 

“Well I wasn’t.”

 

“Great.” You sighed.

 

“Although Tony did have a security system installed recently that I happened to hack into for the past twenty minutes.”

 

“For the love of God!”

 

“But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to give you a hard time about it!”

 

“A hard time about what, exactly? Me considering returning to Asguard to join Loki?”

 

“Not exactly.”

 

“Oh, then it must be me deciding to walk away from someone who I love with all my heart so they can be with the one they love, because all of us deserve to be loved completely and wholly by one person?!”

 

“So you love Thor then.”

 

“Is this what they call Captain Obvious?”

 

“But do you love Loki?”

 

You were getting more and more irritated. “What does it have to do with anything?!”

 

“Because, I’m guessing you do. Which would make you a hypocrite.”

 

“Enlighten me, then.”

 

“You blame Thor for loving both you and Jane, but you love both him and Loki.”

 

“It is not the same, Master Barton.”

 

“Are you blind, Misses Laufeyson? Or Misses Odinson?”

 

“I don’t blame Thor for loving us both.” You sighed heavily. “But I cannot be with him while he still loves Jane.”

 

“But you can be with Loki while you still love Thor.”

 

You could feel steam practically coming out of your ears. Knowing your own powers, it might just happen. “I am only going to say this one more time. I have considered returning to Loki. I have not. Yet. Decided.”

 

“But even considering it is still hypocritical.”

 

“The difference is that I’m leaving Thor because of Jane.”

 

“Don’t be a martyr.”

 

“No, listen to me Clint. Listen carefully.” He stiffened at the sound of your voice. “Thor has always loved Jane. And she has always been good to him. They deserve each other. And even if he loves me as well now, he can still devote himself to her. I’m not trying to be a hero. I’m trying to make the best of a shitty situation.”

 

“You said so yourself you can’t choose who you love.”

 

“Yes. But you can choose who you stay with. You can choose who to be with. And slowly, you can learn to stop loving.”

 

“Not always.”

 

“You can forget.”

 

“Again, not always.”

 

“Well then, you continue on the best you can with life, knowing at least the one you’re with loves you back. And the other one? Well who said life was fair?”

 

“You don’t have to do this, (y/n).”

 

“For once I agree with you.” He returned your smile this time. Even if they were both bitter grins.

 

 

“Clint?”

 

“Whats up buttercup?” You were going to miss his ass.

 

“Why do you care?”

 

“Are you serious right now?!”

 

“I mean about Thor and I specifically.”

 

“Uh, because I care about the two of you individually!”

 

“So does everyone else, at least I hope.”

 

“You wish.” You let out a laugh.

 

“But to quote someone wise, or at least pretty; you know why.”

 

And just like that, the tears fell.

 

 

 

“I’ve heard it said that a good compromise leaves everyone miserable.”

 

“I’ll add that to my wise person quotes list.”

 

“Glad to see I’ve graduated from pretty.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that.”

 

“What could you possibly mean by the Master Barton?”

 

“They’re not mutually exclusive Misses… hmm. You never did tell me your last name.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“Why not?!”

 

“I don’t see how it’s necessary.”

 

“Come on, (y/n).”

 

“See? My first name functions just fine.”

 

“You’re about to leave me and never come back.”

 

“On the contrary. I said I would visit.”

 

“Potato, mashed potato.”

 

“I’m not sure you said that entirely correct.”

 

“Tony’s not here.” You smiled gently.

 

“You’re going to leave me. Full stop. You owe me at least this.”

 

You let out a chuckle. “It’s no big secret.”

 

“Then what is it?!”

 

“Well, I don’t have one.”

 

He looked at you with a weird look. “What?!”

 

“Did you expect a sorceress with a monster alter ego to be Ms. Smith or something?”

 

“Hmm. True. Also, nice job on the Earth slang.”

 

“Thank you. Bucky taught me.”

 

“See? You have friends here. You should stay.”

 

“I said I would visit, wouldn’t I?”

 

“What is it with you and running? Don’t give me that wildcat thing again.”

 

“Well then you don’t get an answer.”

 

“Don’t you get lonely?”

 

 

 

You looked him in the eyes, a little too deeply. “What would you say, Master Barton?”

 

“Well, I would need to know the answer to one question.”

 

“Which would be?”

 

“Do you kiss every handsome man you meet?”

 

You tilted your head as you roared with laughter. “Only the bad guys.”

 

“So, Tony too then?”

 

“I just might find it in myself to miss you Clint.”

 

He let out a dry laugh. “I already miss you, (y/n).”

 

“I’m still here.”

 

“So call me sentimental.”

 

“Overdramatic.”

 

“Someone who gives a damn.”

 

“Deal.”

 

 

He shook his head ruefully. “So between two Gods, where does an archer stand?”

 

“A handsome archer you mean?”

 

“You flatter me Your Highness.”

 

“Don’t get used to calling me that. And don’t make me state why. Ever again.”

 

“Alright Mrs. Laufeyson.” He ducked right on time.

 

“Between you and me,” you spoke after withdrawing your hand. “You stack up just fine.”

 

“Just fine?”

 

“Two Gods?”

 

“Touche.” His melancholic smile broke your heart.

 

 

“So if I stack up “just fine,” then shouldn’t you be staying for sure?”

 

“How so?”

 

“Two against one right?”

 

“Two against- oh, I see.” You frowned. “I believe that the Midguard custom of sharing women is highly misogynistic.

 

“I’m sure they do it in Asguard as well.”

 

“Even so.”

 

“Regardless, I’m insulted. I would never share you.”

 

“Then your point would be moot, would it not?”

 

“Tony loves it when you use moot in an argument.”

 

“So I’ve heard.”

 

“So I’m not the only who eavesdrops, see?”

 

“The way his voice carries I would hardly quantify it as eavesdropping.”

 

“Tomato-“

 

“Spaghetti.” An inopportune tear slipped down your cheek during your mention of the Midguard delicacy.

 

 

His calloused fingers swept it away gently.

 

“Sorry.” You turned away. “I never cry.”

 

“Agree to disagree.” Thor’s words again. “Actually, I disagree completely.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I have proof.”

 

“One tear?”

 

“You’re forgetting.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“You forgot when you made us forget? The irony is killing me.” His chipper tone fooled neither of you.

 

“I should’ve put you in with the rest.”

 

“You couldn’t.”

 

“Shall we test that?”

 

“Don’t be ignant.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Ignorant. Slang. Anyway, you wouldn’t survive having everyone forget you. That’s why you left me.”

 

“You think me weak, then.”

 

“No. Human.”

 

“Debatable.”

 

“Real, then. Not a robot. Or Cyborg. Possibly an Alien.” He couldn’t help making you laugh. Even when he was trying to be serious.

 

“You get lonely, (y/n).”

 

You conceded silently.

 

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

 

“Agree to disagree, as they say.”

 

“So you regret it then?”

 

“Regret what, exactly?”

 

He leaned in. “Our kiss.”

 

“Now why would I?”

 

“It’s a sign of affection. And if I recall, you had already asked once before. Which I refused.”

 

“I fail to see the connection.”

 

“You came back.” He squared his shoulders exaggeratedly. “To get it. Because you missed me.”

 

“Agree t-“

 

“Nope. Just agree. Admit it.”

 

“I will do no such thing.”

 

“Yes you will. Because.”

 

“Because?”

 

“You owe me.”

 

“I already told you my last name-“

 

“That was for the favor. Dropping me out of Asguard is another story.”

 

“You landed on the bed!”

 

“Hurt like a bitch!”

 

“Be glad! Natasha landed underneath Thor.” Clint snorted. “You’re lying.”

 

“I am not.”

 

“You are terrible.”

 

“So I’ve heard.”

 

 

He grew serious again. “Just say it, (y/n).”

 

“To what end?”

 

“To appease me.”

 

“Wrong answer, but thanks for playing.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Do it because you want to.”

 

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying that reverse psychology phenomenon?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Then you are mistaken.”

 

“Am not.”

 

“Yes-“

 

“No.”

 

“I’ll humor you then. Why do I want to?”

 

“Because.” It was his turn to take a deep breath. “If you do, I’ll tell you I love you.”

 

 

Clint?

 

This was not really happening.

 

 

“I mean it.”

 

“I cannot handle a jest right now, Master Barton.”

 

“So I won’t jest.” He leaned in even closer; you could feel his breath on your ear. “Say it (y/n).”

 

“I-“ you sighed.

 

“Say it.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“Yes, you can.”

 

“No, I can’t!” You tried to move but he gripped your shoulders quickly to keep you in place.

 

“Don’t tell me I don’t deserve it.”

 

“I- I cannot possibly love three men, Clint.”

 

“I’m not asking you to love me.”

 

“But-“

 

“Just let me hear it, damn it! You’ve said it before!” Even as a whisper, you could hear the strength in his voice.

 

“If I say it…”

 

“What? Your head will explode? You’ll be a Goddess of Lies who actually told the truth for once? Is that so bad?!”

 

“You can’t choose who you love, Clint.”

 

“Even if I could, it would still be you.”

 

“I wasn’t talking about you.”

 

“I never expected you to love me. I just want to know you care.” His eyes were shadowed now. “You can’t even give me that?”

 

“I never said I didn’t.”

 

“Then say you do now. Tell me you care!”

 

“No, Clint-“

 

“Fuck, (Y/n)!”

 

“Clint I never said I didn’t love you.”

 

 

The silence buzzed around you, as his breath came out in short bursts, tickling your face.

 

“Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?” Was what he finally came up with.

 

“I’m starting to think I should have-“

 

“No.” Then silence again. Lights were on, but was anybody home?

 

“So does this change anything?”

 

“What?”

 

“Are you… are you still going to leave?”

 

“I haven’t dec-“

 

“Are you going to choose Loki over me too?”

 

“OH FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!” Clint jumped at your outburst.

 

“I know, I know.” He rushed. “It’s a possibility. I just… I’m sorry.”

 

You refused to open your mouth; you were sure fire would come out this time. And it would not be friendly.

 

“I’m sorry, (y/n).”

 

You clamped your lips even tighter.

 

“I just; I never thought you would love me.”

 

“I am a “heartless bitch,” as they say?”

 

“No!” He looked at you completely horrified. “It’s just, you have your two Gods.”

 

“Captain Obvious it is.”

 

“Now that I’ve found out; I’m-“ he broke off, practically shaking. Your expression softened slightly.

 

“Now that I know, I’m so scared you’ll leave.” You exhaled heavily. “I know you haven’t decided. It’s just, I had prepared myself for you to go… the idea that you might stay. That I might- it scares me.”

 

You could feel the anger ebbing. “I’m so scared, (y/n).” The vulnerability in his face made your yearning to kiss him almost crippling.

 

“More so then when I breathed fire at you?”

 

He smiled softly. “You can breathe fire at me anytime.”

 

“I thought I promised-“

 

“No guarantees, you said.”

 

Your heart swelled. “You remember?”

 

He reached into his quiver and pulled something out. “Everything.”

 

 

“The arrows I gave you!”

 

“I never leave without them.” You wanted him so bad then.

 

 

“(Y/n)…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I…”

 

“You…?”

 

“I don’t care that you love them.”

 

“Them?”

 

“Thor and Loki.” You eyed him warily. “I never have.”

 

“And if you leave-“ he ducked instinctively, but you made no movements. Not even to object.

 

“I just… I want you to be happy.”

 

“Who’s the martyr now?”

 

You were teasing, but he lowered his eyes in shame. “I’m sorry, (y/n). That was out of line.”

 

“Especially for someone who has never cared about who I love.”

 

“Okay fine. I was jealous. A little blip in my long line of good-guy-ery.”

 

“I have no idea what that means.”

 

“It means, you can love every other guy in the world, and all that matters to me is that you loved me.”

 

“So just Midguard then.”

 

Clint sighed. “No, Asguard too. Obviously.”

 

“Obviously?”

 

“Well yeah. Loki. And Thor, technically.”

 

“Technically.”

 

“You said everyone deserves to be loved wholly and completely. Let’s just say regardless of how you feel about the other guys, any love you give me is whole and complete enough for me.”

 

“Don’t get soft on me now, Barton.” You were a heartbeat from taking him then and there.

 

“I can promise you just Midguard.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Every other guy on Midguard.”

 

“What-“ his eyes popped open. “You mean-?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I won?!”

 

“I wasn’t aware there was a contest.”

 

“You chose me over Loki!”

 

“My dear, there was never a doubt.”

 

He stared at you incredulously. “But. You. How?!”

 

“And you wonder why I get so irritated.”

 

“You said it was a possibility!”

 

“Going to Jupiter was also a possibility.”

 

“You weren’t going to leave me for Loki?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why didn’t you say so?!”

 

“Did I ever have a chance? Ever?!”

 

“Oh.” You had a point there. “But wait, when Thor brought it up-“

 

“Exactly. Thor brought it up. Actually, you brought it up, and Thor as himself decided to run with it.”

 

“So you were always going to stay?”

 

“I never said that.”

 

“Then- what?!” You would’ve smacked him if he didn’t look so cute. And jubilant. Perplexed, but jubilant.

 

You decided to cut him a break. “Clint, during this whole time, between you and Thor, did you ever hear the words “I love Loki” come out of my mouth?”

 

“Well I assumed-“

 

“Yes, you did. So did Thor. Why, I do not know.”

 

“Maybe because you married him?!”

 

“And I kissed you. Afterwards. Your point being?”

 

“A ring and a fling ain’t the same thing, babe.”

 

“Midguard drivel. How I’ve missed it.”

 

“I mean it, (y/n).” His face grew grave. “One day you’re married to an evil overlord- don’t say debatable! The next you’re wiping everyone’s memory, and now you’re leaving him for me?!”

 

“I remember someone wise once telling you I’m full of surprises.”

 

“(Y/n).”

 

“I thought you said you didn’t care who I loved.”

 

“I didn’t.” He sighed. “I don’t.”

 

“Then what is the issue, gentleman?”

 

“If you’re willing to marry a man you didn’t love in 24 hours…”

 

“You forget how long we had been courting, Master Barton.”

 

He smiled slightly. “Then marrying a man you don’t love.”

 

“You fancy me as a gold-digger? Is that what they call it?”

 

“If you were willing to be with him despite-”

 

“You do not trust me then, Master Barton.”

 

“It’s not that.”

 

“What is it then? Do you find me immoral? Need I remind you that you yourself would be guilty of adultery in the same way?”

 

“I would never judge you, (y/n).”

 

You resisted the urge to say debatable once more.

 

“What if- what if one day, you realize you’re not in love with me after all. And you walk away, just like that.”

 

You shook your head. “I can’t even begin to describe the intricacies between Loki and I. And I would suspect you could guess a few, at any rate.”

 

“Even so.”

 

“For someone who just found out they were wholly and completely loved you sure are nervous.”

 

“If you had received the most precious gift in the entire planet, would you not want to keep it safe?”

 

“So I’m in danger?”

 

“(Y/n), please.” He was looking at you earnestly; he wanted to know you wouldn’t slip away.

 

“I’m a wildcat, Clint. I am owned by no one; isn’t that what Thor told you when we first met?”

 

“I know.” He sighed deeply. “I guess what I’m trying to say is…” he paused.

 

“I await with baited breath.” You smiled at the irony.

 

“I want to know that you really love me.” Oh honestly. “I know it sounds stupid. Incredibly pathetic. Totally insecure.”

 

“Your words, not mine.”

 

“But if you can be with a man, or a God, and one day realize you didn’t really love him-“

 

“My dear Clint.” He smiled at the term of endearment, despite himself. “Did I ever say I didn’t love Loki?”

 

“You-“ he collapsed on the bed.

 

 

“You realize you are talking to the Goddess of Lies, right? You better run while you still have the chance.”

 

“So you lied when you said you didn’t love him?” His words were muffled by the blanket he was facedown upon.

 

“I never said I didn’t love him.”

 

“You did!!” He had regressed to age seven. It was annoyingly endearing.

 

“I did not. I stated that I never spoke the words, ‘I love Loki.’”

 

“Okay I’m thoroughly confused. And frustrated.”

 

“The latter I can relate to.”

 

“So do you love him or not?!”

 

You sighed exasperatedly. “Yes.”

 

“So you lied to my face!” He sat up angrily, completely hurt.

 

“Despite my nickname, I am not in the habit of lying.”

 

“Blah blah blah you lied!” Age five now.

 

“I love Loki. But I never said those words. Because it’s not the way I love you. And I needed you to know that.”

 

He pondered this for a while, during which you considered pulling him into a kiss and throttling him, simultaneously.

 

“So… how different?”

 

Throttle. You rolled your eyes so hard you could see your nasal cavities. The hopeful look on his face was the only thing holding your murderous intentions in.

 

“Let’s just say I don’t feel like kissing Loki anytime soon.”

 

And with the way he beamed at you, you forgave all his idiocies.

 

“And me?”

 

“I give up, Clint Barton.” You stood up to walk away, only to be pulled back onto the mattress firmly.

 

“Not on your life.”

 

And his kiss was cotton-candy sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are no words.
> 
> so give them to me. leave me some love below guys!
> 
> random ramblings:  
> i almost didn't make a random ramblings because there is just so much UGH in this!!!!!  
> now you know why i've not posted for a while. you can't make shit up like this when you're dying of the plague :P
> 
> “Well, this is awkward.”~ lovely and Thor landed in Loki's bedroom. They had just finished kissing. No, Loki didn't see that part. It was for comedic purposes only.
> 
> No, Loki didn't actually figure out lovely was the beast. hey don't blame him, i didn't give anyone enough hints for that. except maybe you, but you don't count. since you're lovely. 
> 
> did you think you would end up with Loki??? have you even read my fics before??!! muahahaha....*sobs* making lovely leave him broke my heart... but i summed it up in his last statement. “Why does one of us have to get hurt in order for us to say it?! To prove we mean it?! Is that it?! WHY?!”~ although usually it's on Loki's side. still an unhealthy relationship nonetheless.  
> however, i left it kind of open....KIND OF. in case i am persuaded to write a sequel with more angst and heartbreak.
> 
> “Okay.” Nat the Cat interrupted. “Obviously there’s more to be discussed between the two of you.”~ thank god for the voice of reason. the one who keeps the lovely, the team, and the writer sane.
> 
> “Are you trying to prove your point or mine?” You had him there.~ OH THE HUMANITY
> 
> semantics are so key in this chapter. actually in this fic.
> 
> if you missed anything in the last painful but amazing 10 pages or so, let me break it down for you
> 
> no, you weren't going back to Loki. but since Thor and Clint were being dicks and assuming it, you agreed it was a possibility. just like jupiter. 
> 
> obviously you had considered staying; but you explain to Thor why you wouldn't stay with him, after he wrongly assumes you hadn't considered it
> 
> yes, you love loki; just not like you love clint. that's why you didn't say you love loki, but you also didn't say you didn't love loki. see what i did there? if it's confusing, too bad. i like the intricacies involved. sue me.
> 
> so many feels. SO MUCH PAIN. AND LOVE. AND PAIN. AND SADNESS. AND FLUFF. AND HAPPINESS. AND GODDAMNIT IT LOVE. SUBTLETIES. 
> 
> you're welcome.
> 
> thanks for joining me on this journey; i hope this 30 page ending was worth the wait. and if so inclined, please do give me some love below. you lovelies are the best encouragement i could have.
> 
> XOXO
> 
> p.s. even though everything pans out perfectly with lovely ending up with Clint~ i feel so very biased ;) after all it was my own hands that pulled the strings. honestly who else would have had a chance?! but seriously, the way i wrote it is completely blame free (in terms of favoritism); and that's what makes me awesome. see, i'm batman ;)


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